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Leisia Shopik: A Healer’s Journey

06 leisia shopik healer's journey
healer's journey leisia shopik

Leisia Shopik: A Healer's Journey

Leisia Shopik shares a healer’s journey with us, what it was like going from studying to be an architect to training as a shaman and working with plant medicines in Peru. Leisia is an incredibly gifted healer, and she’s the one who guided me into training in Shamanic Chinese Medicine, which lead me to the incredible path I’m on now. I’m deeply grateful for Leisia, her light, her gentleness, and her many gifts.

Connect with Leisia:
leisia.shopik@gmail.com

 


 

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00):

Hello, and welcome to the mindbodyfree podcast. I am your host Abigail Moss, and here we unpack what it means to heal and step into your power. And you’ll find here a blend of interviews with other healers, thought leaders, and creatives, as well as live coaching sessions and guided meditations by yours. Truly, if you like what you hear, you can subscribe to the show and leave us a review, and you can learn more about what we do as well as sign up for live coaching at mindbodyfree.com/podcast. So without further ado, enjoy. Okay. So this conversation is with a good friend of mine and a huge inspiration. Her name is Leisia Shopik. She is a medical Qigong therapist and shamanic healer. She’s been on an incredible journey and continues to go on and a beautiful and incredible journey of, healing, shamanism, plant medicines of medicine, songs of just discovery and awakening and transformation. And she’s the one that inspired me to step onto the path of shamanic healing. And I’m so truly, and deeply grateful for her and all that she does and all the light that she brings into the world. And you’ll want to listen right to the end for this one because she shares an incredibly beautiful and powerful healing song that I don’t want you to miss. So without further ado, please enjoy. Welcome. Thank you for being here.

Leisia (00:01:54):

Ah, thank you, Abby. It’s awesome. It’s awesome to be here.

Abby (00:01:57):

So why don’t you talk a little bit about your journey of becoming a medical qigong therapist and coming to Shamanic Healer?

Leisia (00:02:06):

Okay. Well, I suppose medical qigong came out of my experiences in the jungle. So you and I met in the jungle of Peru. We were at a plant healing center and I was at a retreat center and we met while we were volunteering there. And before that, I had come down twice. That was back in, gosh, must have been 2013 now. Nope, Nope. 2014 or 15. I went for my first retreat and it changed my life, to say the least. But one of the things that did happen was when I got home from that first retreat, I started experiencing vibration and energy in my body and I had never experienced anything like it before. And, I kinda called it energy attacks cause I’d be in a deep sound sleep. And I would wake up to this vibrating feeling in my body and I found it fascinating, but I didn’t know what it was.

Leisia (00:03:09):

So it was kind of alarming at the same time. And, through some serendipitous events, I ended up finding Wendy laying on an empty mountain. Who’s now our teacher, who teaches medical qigong, which is an ancient form of Chinese energetic shamanism. It’s the meditation and breathwork and energy awareness practice that allowed them to discover the Meridian lines and how energy moves through the body, which allowed them to develop things like acupuncture and acupressure 5,000 years ago. So it’s, and when I found that and started working with Wendy, it normalized so many things for me and it made the world make sense. It was just the things that I was learning that just blew my mind every time I would just like I learned something, you’d be like what they knew about that back then. How do we forget about that? So, the plant medicine journey kind of led me to the energy work that I currently do and I’m currently studying.

Abby (00:04:09):

Awesome. I agree. It is amazing stuff. And it does make sense of reality.

Abby (00:04:16):

Like what’s going

Abby (00:04:17):

On, being on this planet and the universe, what is that all about actually? Yeah. Okay. So you, you, you went to Peru, you had some powerful ceremonies there and you came back and you had energy tax is an interesting term. I was like, yeah, you feel the energy in your body. And it feels like an attack. Like this is different.

Leisia (00:04:41):

I have never really felt the energy in my body before. And it was so intense, that it would wake me up and that’s why I kind of, kind of coined it an energy attack. And it wasn’t a violent thing that sounded violent, but it was more just random and unexpected and unanticipated and the randomness of it. And the intenseness of it, the fact that it would wake me out of deep sleep in the middle of the night, just, and, and it would just literally be like shaking, like internal, external, just energy moving, and super, super intense. And, you know, so I would, I was paying attention to it. I was breathing into it. I didn’t, I was trying to see if I could do anything with it and, you know, it would always eventually subside. But yeah, just the randomness about it just made it just feel like all of a sudden they just had an energy kind of a burst, I suppose you could call it. But to me, I just make that. Hmm.

Abby (00:05:39):

It’s interesting. And I’m gonna, what I want to ask, like what you would call it now after years of training, but I can also relate, through doing the qigong and shamanic work and through Ayahuasca waking up another part of you that feels in a different level. Yep.

Leisia (00:05:59):

It kind of opened me up to the subtle realms of reality and subtle realms of perception and energies and subtleties of things. What would I call it now? I would probably just recognize that it’s energy moving. So, and I do believe that the reason it would happen often at night is kind of when we assimilate all the information from the day and any, any emotional events or any events that we have kind of worked through our system. They work through our brains, they work through our energy. And so I feel like I was unraveling and getting rid of a lot of knotted up energy, a lot of nodded up emotion, energy in motion, emotion. And as that was working out of my system, it was a very visceral experience. I went to the jungle, as a trained architect with a very Western mindset, you know, as a child, I was very imaginative and very creative and had all kinds of fantasies about things, you know, talking to plants and talking to animals.

Leisia (00:07:09):

But at a certain point, I kind of turned that off as make-believe, and kind of, I didn’t realize that I bound a lot of stuff up and wound myself up. As the educational system architecture in particular is a very hyper-competitive industry and it’s a hyper-competitive education. And so it, you, my system was fully ratcheted up and just used to go, go, go, go, go. You know, you’re, you’re talking about being up for three, four days straight to finish a final project. So, you know, my system was very tense and on high alert and there was a lot that needed to kind of wind down and relax and open up. And so I feel like the attacks quote-unquote were energy starting to surface and unwind and release for being so wound up for so long.

Abby (00:07:59):

That makes a lot of sense. Energy is not, I don’t believe any of our energy is meant to be in that high alert, tense awake for four days.

Leisia (00:08:10):

Oh no, we don’t realize how many of us live in a fight or flight daily.

Abby (00:08:16):

Absolutely. And so when you were younger, you had this kind of inclination to talk with animals to talk with plants, that you later called make-believe. Was there a moment or was it a gradual progression that led from calling that make-believe and not real and diving into this really kind of almost opposite ends of the spectrum intensive, competitive rigorous architecture world?

Leisia (00:08:49):

Hm. You know, I feel like it was probably, it wasn’t one acute thing that made me kind of shut down and stop. I feel like it was just kind of, a gradual process of whittling away at it. Like, you know, I, when after high school I went straight into art college, very creative, very open, very dynamic, very kind of, you would think very much in line with inner energetics and stuff like that. However, for me, I was hungry for practical application and I didn’t sink into art in my early twenties because I felt like I didn’t have enough life experience, like real legitimate life experience to say anything really rich and meaningful. And so I didn’t dive into my art that wasn’t necessarily true. But that’s what I felt at the time. And so I was very much in search of something very practical and very applicable and architecture fit that bill because it’s that creative side, but you have a design parameter, so you have a design problem.

Leisia (00:10:00):

So you’ve got your fence around the playground, so to speak. So you can push the envelope as much as you want to, and be hyper, hyper-creative within a framework. And, I was looking for that, but the process of learning about architecture, the process in any university is you’re learning how to think in an industry in that industry jargon. Does that make sense? Yeah. And that involves a very destructive unwinding process. So you kind of break everything down, you break down how you see the world, and then you build it up with these parameters and these specific ways of viewing and understanding and looking at the world that is in line with, you know, for me, so architecture and the built environment, and how do you look at space and looking how you move through space and looking at how space affects us very greatly on our, on our day-to-day lives, but we’re not aware of it on a conscious level and learning how to manipulate that and the importance of it.

Leisia (00:11:03):

So you, it’s a, it was a very wonderful process, but it kind of brought in this hyper-drive of analysis, I suppose, which kind of tampered that creative, liberal, you know, like everything has to be able to be buildable. So everything has to be able to be articulated or, or realized or figured out. So that kind of brings things out of like the fine art realm of, of totally pure just fund imagination too. There’s that with, with the practical real life, actualization of something. And so I suppose through that whole process, that hyper-analytical, calculating, analyzing how to, you know, like, it’s, like, if you think of a well-built building, you don’t think about it when you’re in it, you just experience it. It feels good. You’re like, I like going to this place. It feels good to sit in this room, but we don’t necessarily take the time to understand why, and to be able to do that, to be able to get somebody to stop and like to look at their space and to have it be very clean and simple is a very big process. It’s really easy to make something complicated. It’s very difficult to make something simple and complex at the same time.

Abby (00:12:29):

Okay. Absolutely. The mind has all kinds of ways of creating noise to pull those pieces away and then distill it down to something that is, every part of it is, is integral and adds to the overall, best of it.

Leisia (00:12:49):

Everything is good to have everything be considered and everything to be considered within a certain idea or theme, with the program. So like if it’s a school or if it’s a church or if it’s an airport, to have it fit that program, but also have it be, you know, well, I want it to feel very light and open and spacious and have lots of natural light or natural ventilation. To keep it clean really takes a lot. Yeah. So it’s, it’s a lot of training to get there and that, I suppose, really, you, you develop a lot of processes. The architectural process is quite long and there’s a lot of front-end work that gets done that most people don’t even really see before you even get to the building part of it. And I feel like that got articulated and spilled out into the rest of my life.

Abby (00:13:43):

It’s really interesting. Cause I, I kind of see it energetically as like the creative chaos is like the feminine energy and then the linear structure that supports creating it in the physical world is like the masculine aspect of it. And so it’s like kind of diving into the masculine so that it can be created so we can walk and live in it and it won’t collapse on us and it’ll

Leisia (00:14:10):

Feel good.

Abby (00:14:14):

It feels to me, tell me where I’m wrong. Like you kind of, you were in this flow and connected with plants, with animals and then you dove into, or you looked at art, which is like the feminine creative process and then went into, okay, let’s contain that. Let’s make a container for it that we can, I can be a container for humans, understand the process that’s involved in that. And then you went a whole different direction.

Leisia (00:14:44):

Exploded. It exploded.

Abby (00:14:49):

You, when you get, when it gets to, it just needs to be explored.

Leisia (00:14:54):

Well, and sometimes just when you, when you feel something, you just have to go with it, even though you don’t necessarily rationally understand why, or, or even feel confident in it, you just know that it’s the direction you need to move in.

Abby (00:15:08):

And so I’m assuming that you’re talking about feeling called to try to be with Ayahuasca may be in the jungle.

Leisia (00:15:16):

Definitely. I mean, we all feel compelled and get messages in different ways. And with Ayahuasca, for me, it was, I’ve been hearing about it. I had a very good friend who was, who had participated in ceremonies fairly regularly and you know, I’d always thought, that’d be, that’d be an interesting thing too, to work with. It sounds fascinating. And life-changing, however, it sounds like it’d be very good for someone with a lot of trauma or a lot of pain or a lot to work through and maybe I’ll just leave it for, they never really became a priority so to speak. And then, I suppose just the way that the medicine came to me as I was living in Mexico. I was dating someone and he had worked for us coast guard and had debilitating PTSD.

Leisia (00:16:09):

And we were talking and in a conversation with some friends and Ayahuasca came up and after that conversation, he was like, you know, we were talking about how this medicine, they don’t know how it works, but they know that it like the way your brain works is we have neural associations. So you have a triggering event on the outside. And we have a neural pathway that creates an association and those associations are created early on in life. And what the medicine does somehow this plant medicine will go straight to the root event of the trauma and create a new neural pathway of association. So it was a quick example and I know, you know, all of this, but it, like if you get bit by a dog when you’re younger, you might wire your brain to be afraid of dogs.

Leisia (00:16:57):

Your brain might associate dogs, equal danger. And so if you work with the medicine, you’ll work through that trauma and realize, not all dogs equal danger, and then you’ll have a new neural pathway. So after this conversation, he looked at me and he’s like, that is, I never want to do that. That sounds terrifying to sit with my thoughts and sit with, sit with all my trauma and my experiences, no way, fast forward, a few months he sent me an email and he was like, I’ve been doing a lot of research and there’s more and more research about it indicating that it does help with PTSD specifically and other ailments. But for this, it was like, it might help me. I want to go sit with the medicine, but I’m terrified. And so indirectly, I was asked to come to the jungle.

Leisia (00:17:41):

And I just was so touched at the courage that I saw for someone willing to step through a lot of very trauma that I went and, yeah, everything, the rest is kind of history, as they say, right. I went to one retreat and then six months later went to my second retreat and was asked to come back and volunteer. I spent some time in the Andes working in studying because I didn’t feel confident being in the jungle without any real in-depth experience with the plants. And then, I went for six months and stayed for over two years in the jungle.

Abby (00:18:22):

Beautiful. So you get a call from somebody else?

Leisia (00:18:28):

Well, I went under the pretense that I was going to help somebody else. Ha little did I know I’m just going for me. You don’t sit with the medicine for anybody else.

Abby (00:18:41):

No. Whatever it takes though, right?

Leisia (00:18:44):

It was a pretty phenomenal experience. I didn’t necessarily go. I wasn’t, you know, I was, I was pretty excited. I was in architecture thinking that that was where I wanted to be. Not realizing how kind of ratcheted or amped up or busy I was in life. And, I was resistant to go back a second time after the first time I thought that was wow, profound, amazing. I’m going to go back. I’m probably planning to pursue a Ph.D. in architecture to look at the kind of helping the world through sustainable design, sustainable building principles. And really, I wanted to be at the forefront of that. So I was having interviews with different props around the world, looking at pursuing a Ph.D., getting reference letters, all pulled together. And in the middle of all this, I got another, I got a phone call from the same person that I was dating.

Leisia (00:19:37):

He was traveling a lot. So he phoned me from abroad and he was like, we need to go back. And he was on one of his trips and I was like, Nah, I’m good. You go back. I’m all right. I don’t need to go back. And he pushed and he pushed and he pushed until finally a week out. I was like, I thought I could outsmart things. And I was like, all right, it’s a week out. If there’s still space, I’ll go thinking that there wasn’t going to be any space. So he sent me a text a few minutes late. I was like, there was a spot you’re in. We’re going. It was just like, we’re going again. But here’s the crazy part about the medicine in my first ceremony, back in the jungle, my second retreat, right before we went to go and drink the medicine, my friend got terrified and ran out of the Maloca or the ceremony space and the facilitators there sat with him and convinced him to sit and stay and just sit outside.

Leisia (00:20:33):

So in the ceremony space, everyone took the medicine. And I remember after taking the medicine, just thinking like, wow, it doesn’t just feel like he got scared. It feels like he wasn’t invited into this space. That’s weird. And so to know, I’ll ask this won’t sound hokey for people who don’t, you’re working the indigenous belief. I also believe that plants have spirits. They’re there, they’re beings, they’re sentient beings. And when you’re working with them and vibing them, you’re inviting those spirits into your body and you’re working with them. And sometimes you hear their voices very clearly. Like they’re speaking out loud. And so I had one of those situations in this ceremony where I was thinking like, I am like, why was he not allowed in the ceremony space? Why does it feel like he’s not allowed in? And I’ve got a very crystal clear answer and it was he and I have done a lot of work together, but we’re done for now.

Leisia (00:21:23):

He needs to take a break. His whole reason for coming back was to bring you back because you weren’t going to come back and you needed to. And my first thought was whoa. And then, and then it was like, come on. Who do you think you are? What kind of self-importance is it like getting off your high horse, all those thoughts. So this is continued with the ceremony. I stayed in the sacred space. Didn’t leave, didn’t see him for the rest of the night until the next morning. And that’s important because the next morning we hadn’t talked about the ceremony. I hadn’t seen him. And he came and found me and the next morning and was like, how was your ceremony? I was like, it was really good. He’s like, cool. I need to tell you something that happened at my ceremony. I was like, okay, what happened?

Leisia (00:22:10):

And he was like, well, I’m sitting outside the Maloca space, a ceremony space. And it just, I got scared, but I felt like I was shooting out. If I felt like I was just told to get out and I couldn’t go back in. And that was confusing. And so sitting with the facilitators and I had a little sip, and then when I was on the medicine, I was like, I still can’t. I feel like I can’t go into the Maloca space. Why is that? So I’m asking for the medicine and I’m inquiring. And she gave me this, I heard this crystal clear voice, and this is X. And this is him telling me this story. And he said this is exactly what she said to me. And I need you to hear it. She said, we’ve worked together a lot, but we’re done for now. We’ll work together again in the future. The whole reason you had to come back was to bring Lasher back because she wasn’t going to, and this was the only way to get her back. And it was just, and I hadn’t talked to him yet and I hadn’t that hadn’t been verbalized that loud. It was, it blew my mind. It was weird. So that was kind of one of those he’s got to trust.

Abby (00:23:09):

Trust. It is mind-blowing. And the more you’re in the more you, the longer you’re there, the more normal that stuff

Leisia (00:23:19):

Becomes. Oh yeah. Still

Leisia (00:23:22):

Magical. And it’s still fun. I like to take moments

Leisia (00:23:26):

To revel in serendipities like that and just acknowledge them because I’m very grateful for them because I, to me, they’re just a reminder that magic is real. And I like that.

Abby (00:23:38):

That’s nice. Yeah. It’s nice to have those confirmations from the universe. Like, Hey, by the way, magic is real

Leisia (00:23:46):

Just in case you forgot. Yes. And it’s working with you.

Abby (00:23:51):

It was working with you cause you were called there and there’s a lot of effort that went into bringing you there.

Leisia (00:24:01):

It was wonderful. Yeah. I found my heart there and I never would have known to look. Hmm.

Abby (00:24:11):

So what does it mean to find your heart? What was it like to find your heart? Oh, well

Leisia (00:24:18):

I fell in love with the jungle. I fell in love with the shoe people’s culture, and I loved the work. I loved what I saw. Like my Western mind saw things that weren’t possible. I saw healings that I just like blew my mind. I remember when I was in the Andes apprenticing, working with the shaman to learn more about plant medicines, to see if it was like, well, what is this stuff? And there was a fellow that had Parkinson’s disease and so bad that he had tremors down the left side of his body. And he couldn’t use his left hand and couldn’t walk properly. And he wasn’t sitting with Ayahuasca. He was working with other plant medicines. He had a very specific diet. He had a very specific kind of routine. And, after the first three days of this routine, I woke up one day and he was chopping wood and he chopped firewood for half a day and his body wasn’t trembling.

Leisia (00:25:15):

It wasn’t shaking. And he had full physical control of his body. And when I saw that, I was just like, what, what the hell? It was the most amazing thing. And, he stayed on and he had it as I said, it was very specific like the whole jungle is a Pharmacopia of plants. We tend to focus on the big, heavy hitters, but the whole jungle. Sometimes you don’t even need to sit with Ayahuasca depending on what you’re there for. But, anyway, I digress that cracked me open, through some other serendipitous events, I ended up going into the deep jungle and studying with the shoe people, maze thrill, which is a master plant Shaman you know, historically that would have been the Shaman of, of the village, who, the medicine man of the village. And he was phenomenal.

Leisia (00:26:11):

And, on one of my plant diets, I was dieting a very sacred tree. The tree is called a noodle. And, I was meditating by this tree that I was dieting to basically, yeah. Just sitting in the jungle by myself, meditating and all of us. I hadn’t ever wanted kids, even as a child. I was adamant that I didn’t want kids. I didn’t like kids. I didn’t like babysitting. I wasn’t fuzzy and warm with kids. I just wasn’t comfortable with them. I never wanted one. I’d always thought I was very career-focused and career-driven. So I’m sitting underneath this tree and all of a sudden, my eyes pop open, and out loud, I blurt out I want to be a mother. And then I burst into tears and it was just the weirdest thing, because being a mother was foreign to me, absolutely foreign. And I just had this huge cry and I realized, oh my God, I want to be a mother. Yeah. And at, in, at the Ayahuasca center that I had actually, at this time I was running an Ayahuasca center now. And, the person I was running it with was also my romantic partner who is now my husband and we have a son. And so I found my heart and my family in the jungle by following my heart and following my joy because it was, yeah, no, that’s beautiful.

Abby (00:27:44):

Just, just by following, having, by trusting, having faith to be, permit yourself to follow your heart.

Leisia (00:27:52):

Yeah. And it was all following. Like I didn’t seek any of it out really. I didn’t ask to go volunteer. They asked me, I didn’t ask to run the center. They asked me if I was having a conversation with one of our friends and we were volunteering at the center together at that time. And he mid-sentence stops and he’s very intuitive and he’s very flowy. Like he’s, this is a wonderful individual and he’d stop and look at me and he says, I’m, I’m going into the deep jungle over the break you should come to. And it was so random that I was like, okay, all right. And we went on this trip up to Wiki dos, which is the biggest city in the world that you can’t access by car. You have to take a boat or you have to fly in. So there are no roads out of it.

Leisia (00:28:42):

There’s a road. There’s a highway that goes out of a ketose and ends in the forest. That’s it just ends the jungle and you’ve arrived. Yeah, you’re here. So if you drive out of the city, you’re going to end up at a dead-end into the Amazon forest. And so that’s what we did. We, he was adamant on going to see his mind, his master showman that he was studying with, and this is where we were going, but he’s in the jungle. So we couldn’t get in touch with him. So we flagged a car and got a ride and we’re off on this highway and we were on this highway for about an hour. And then he’s like, now we get out. When we hike, we’re hiking into the jungle and there’s a dirt road. No, one’s expecting us. It’s like being in the jungle. And it’s wild to me. Like, where are we going? What are we doing? And we get to this camp. And it was just a, and that’s how I met actually at the time I met Don Enrico, who was my me, I swear. I met his brother, Don Miguel. And we sat with the medicine and I came back a few later and stayed for nine weeks and worked with the plants in-depth. But that all came from trusting and flowing.

Leisia (00:29:51):

Beautiful. It’s powerful. It’s a good reminder for me too. Cause man, let me tell you when you’ve got a kid it’s easy to not want to flow and it’s easy to want to plan everything and try to bubble, wrap them and create the perfect environment. You shall be safe in that bubble forever. Yes, exactly. I will. You are in situ on the shelf. Perfect.

Abby (00:30:21):

So once I left, I got you back the second time, you followed the flow and what was it like learning. So you took training to learn how to be an Ayahuasca. You learn how to be an Ayahuasca Shaman. I did. What was that journey like?

Leisia (00:30:38):

I loved it. It was amazing. I was very scared of it because it’s intense. My relationship with medicine is a little bit different than others in that I’ve never been afraid to sit in medicine. I’ve always been like, this is, let’s see where this goes, but I’ve never been like, oh my God, it’s, you know, I’ve never been scared and I’ve always had a certain weird level of trust. But I was very afraid of going into the deep jungle because I heard that it was very arduous and you’re in the jungle. You don’t have power. We had running water, which was phenomenal. Like they’d set up the camp well so that we had running water, but there’s no cell service. I didn’t know what to expect. And it’s every second day you’re sitting in a ceremony.

Leisia (00:31:30):

You’re also like I said, you’re studying other plants as well. So Shaman, don’t administer anything that they haven’t tried themselves. Cause you have to work with the plant and develop a relationship with the spirit of the plant and understand how it works. And so that means taking a lot of them are prerogatives and a lot of them are, are, it’s pretty intense, but it was, it was amazing. And, and while we’re also doing that, you’re dieting. So the way that you study plants, you don’t just sweep. We sat in a couple of lectures and Rica would speak and kind of give us information. But really what you’re doing is you’re spending a lot of time in isolation. You’re spending a lot of time fasting and you’re ingesting certain master plants and through meditation and quiet, you’re connecting within and you’re developing resonance with the energy of that plant.

Leisia (00:32:25):

And the best example I can give you as to how the difference or how extreme the different plant energies can feel is I was dieting a plant called Marusa, which should people talk about as a hospital? Like it’s a very big healing plant. And when you die at any plant, you have to fast and you have a very specific diet. So your energy is relatively low and, but you still want to get exercise in this camp. So every day I would walk to the road and back just to get to stretch my legs, to move on the Marissa diet. There were days where I couldn’t, there were days where I could hardly walk from the Maloca space up to my hot, to my Tombo. And that was like, I don’t know, 20, 30 yards away and up to three steps. On some days it would be like, I’d walk up a step and just sit and have to breathe and catch my breath.

Leisia (00:33:23):

Like I was so depleted the diet I did afterward is a diet of a tree called chewy Chucky, which is like the trickster energy. It’s the wandering Palm. It’s an actual tree that has multiple trunks at the bottom and certain trunks lift and die off and then other ones grow. So it gradually walks through the jungle. That’s incredible. Yeah. It’s just, it’s a cool treat. Plants are just phenomenal. And on, on this diet, the same thing, you’re fasting, you’ve got a very specific diet, same diet, same amount of days fasting. And I walked the road twice a day, the whole diet,

Abby (00:34:04):

No problem, no problem. I had

Leisia (00:34:06):

So much energy and I was still fasting. And when I was eating, I was in the very same minimal limited amount of foods and the same amount of isolation in the same amount of meditation. And that’s all the energy of the plants.

Abby (00:34:20):

Yeah. And the minimum of foods and fascinating that’s so that you can hear the subtlety of the plan.

Leisia (00:34:27):

Yeah. So when you’re doing the ETA, traditionally data’s are many months long and they’re done in complete isolation. It’s just you in a hot way off in the jungle. And the only thing that you’re meant to ingest is the plant that you’re dieting with water, and then you work with tobacco as a cleanser and it also energizes it. And, and that’s it. When you shower, you’re typically just using water because you don’t want any there’s no, there’s no bug spray. There are no appointments, there’s no shampoos or conditioners and or deodorant because all of those things, kind of distort, they create extra static and you want it, the energy and the air and the environment to be as clean, as neutral as possible. So that’s just you in the plant. There’s nothing else.

Abby (00:35:27):

Well, it’s incredible to think about that. And you think about how many layers of static we add typically to our lives and, you know, Western society, our homes, and all of the products and the foods and the electronics and traffic, like, you know, I think we, we forget sometimes how different our world is to our nervous system than the world that we were designed to originally live in the wild.

Leisia (00:35:57):

That’s a really good point and very, very true. And it’s, it’s fascinating to see how, when you take everything away, you know, I noticed before that, in the middle of this whole experience, as they tell you your thoughts are also that kind of static. And one of the things that they let you know is likely to happen at our still let us know it was likely to happen is you’re probably going to start thinking about foods and you don’t want to go down the train of building the thoughts of, I miss chocolate cake. Grandma’s pizza is those, those are or sugar, like anything like that, because that’s creating that storyline of that craving and that’s amplifying and building and you want to be clean and your diet, the reason you’re not eating those things is that it’s not clean. So you also don’t want them polluting your thoughts. So it’s, it’s, it’s a very, you’re just like keeping everything clean, clean, clean, and empty. And when you do that, you realize how much we feed ourselves to distraction. And not just with food, just like occupying our times with visual, physical, mental distraction.

Abby (00:37:12):

What would happen if we just took all those distractions away and we sat with ourselves and then, and that’s the layers, and I think you mentioned you’d done for passing a meditation too. And then they talk about that a lot there and in Buddhism of that craving and aversion. So we, our mind creates all these cravings for things we want, whether it’s food or a person or a career or an object, and then aversion to the discomfort, to the pain, and to the fear of just being with ourselves. And it’s interesting because at first it usually sucks. After all, all of the thoughts come up, all the cravings, all the detoxing, and it takes a while to get to peel off those layers. But then the reward is so worth it to get to meet yourself.

Leisia (00:38:07):

And it continues. Right. Yeah. They call that the hungry ghost because it’s never satiated. It’s, it’s not a thing, but yeah, the craving is the hungry ghost, and yeah. It’s shocking to see what we avoid looking at and what we avoid sitting within. The whole serious irony that you’ve come to, the realization that you’ve come to when you strip all of that away is if you just sit with it far, far less uncomfortable.

Abby (00:38:39):

Yeah. Then

Leisia (00:38:41):

Trying to placate it, cause then you’re repeating the discomfort. You’re suppressing it so that it just stays there and kind of grows as it’s like an itch. It’s like an itchy bug bite. Whereas if you just don’t scratch it and leave it, it goes away a lot faster. Yeah,

Abby (00:38:54):

Exactly. If you keep feeding the hungry ghost, it’ll just keep consuming and consuming. And we see evidence of that on our planet and our society of needing more, wanting more. But it is never enough as long as we keep feeding it. And as long as we have that belief, I feel like the outer world reflects the inner world. And if on some level we don’t believe we’re enough, then it won’t matter how much stuff you try to shove in there until you realize who you are. Behave beliefs like that.

Leisia (00:39:31):

I agree. And I feel like that happens in many expressions. I know of my main practice. Lee’s relationship is continually letting each other go because that reminds us that there’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re here because we want to be with each other. We don’t have to be with each other and that takes away any kind of frustration or expectation. And that helps also take away any fear because it’s the fear of the discomfort of the loss. Well, if you’re letting that person go continuously, then you’re able to continuously appreciate them because you’re never assuming that they’re just, they’re not beholden to you. And it’s not an easy practice, but it’s certainly served us very well.

Abby (00:40:24):

The practice of non-attachment with your spouse, like the most difficult of all to practice attachment

Leisia (00:40:31):

With. Yeah. And it means that we can sit and have very, very real conversations. You know, we’re not rude with each other, but we share our deep truth at the risk of you might not like this truth, but I have to share it because it’s my truth. And we do those deep dives and we go to those scary places and it’s always brought us closer to, to sit and see it through, but men, yeah. It’s we, we go there, there’s some conversation, especially in the beginning when we’re getting to know each other, there’ll be times where we’re like, are we going to make it through this one? I don’t know. You know, you’re talking about a tender subject where you don’t see eye to eye, but you, you want to find that you’re that, that resonance. So you’ve got to sit through and keep talking, keep diving and keep diving. And it’s always brought us to the surface and closer. But you can’t have that if you’re afraid of affecting the other person or losing the other person losing the other, a person’s more accurate because we’re not rude. We do our best to be as loving with our truth because that’s important. Love and respect are fundamental. So I’m not talking about just like, you were up Today.

Abby (00:41:46):

Truth Is that you’re a jerk. Not like that.

Leisia (00:41:50):

Yeah. I mean, we can say that, but we can say that in a very loving way.

Abby (00:41:56):

Yeah. And it’s beautiful that you’re both at that place and a level of openness and willingness to do that work because it does take to, to, to go there and to go to those places.

Leisia (00:42:08):

Oh my gosh. It does. And it’s not, I mean, there are times, you know, we’re having a conversation and it’s resistance and you know, I don’t know how many times I’ve been in that zone and he’s like, come on, we got to finish this. Great. Just like sitting down. And like, we’re gonna, you know, takes as long as it takes, we’re doing it. And like, You’re right. Okay. Breathe into the discomfort and let’s keep diving.

Abby (00:42:36):

Absolutely. Yeah. And then it gets to be that place. I felt that too with Dave where, you know, oh my goodness, this is not comfortable or we’re going to get through this. I don’t know. You know, I think it should just jump, ship, and run that. I think that’s the best thing to do right now.

Leisia (00:42:52):

This feeling sucks. I want a new experience. Right.

Abby (00:42:55):

Because we all just want to feel good. So it’s like letting the mind know that, you know, the truth, the true happiness is on the other side of the discomfort. So let’s get through it and let’s dive into it together.

Leisia (00:43:08):

Yes, absolutely.

Abby (00:43:12):

Beautiful. Okay. So let’s go back to the jungle. So you had these data’s and you’re connecting with these plants, and then you were running the retreat center with your now-husband, which is amazing, by the way. I didn’t realize that was the new title, how beautiful congratulations. And, and then what,

Leisia (00:43:40):

Ah, well, we were running the retreat center and we both loved the work, loved working with the plants, loved the community, and loved living in a community. And at the same time, we both realized that we were in a place where we could have stayed forever, but we weren’t ever going to reach that next level of growth. We both felt a ceiling and it was a really hard thing to admit when you are somewhere where you’re absolutely happy through and through, and you love the work that you’re doing. It was a difficult decision to leave the jungle. we had been asked to potentially run another retreat center. So it was work that was very much in our hearts. And I remember having that conversation when we were sitting down and I looked at Lee and I was like, cause that was my dream.

Leisia (00:44:36):

I loved the work. I loved being immersed in that, in the, going even deeper into the jungle and working with more plants and stuff was just, and doing research was just this dream come true. But I, when I sat and breathed into it, I looked at, I was like, I, I want to, but if I’m honest with myself, that feels like the easy way out. The easy thing to do is to sit with the medicine. And, so we decided to, just to trust that, to trust the heart. And we came back to Canada and it’s been a beautiful rollercoaster integrating living in the jungle, living outside of the system very much. So living outside of the medical system, living outside of a governance system, living with, living with the Shapebos, to come back to Canada and then to be around family as well, who knew us pre jungle. And, and it’s been, and I, I see crystal clear why we came back, you know, cause you have to, I think it was Rahm Doss. He says it so beautifully and concisely. He said at one point, if you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.

Leisia (00:45:54):

We’d love it. Cause that’s where all of your triggers are gonna come right back in your face, all your patterns, all of your resistances, all of that stuff. And it’s really easy to get into a flow of being in a comfortable space, in a comfortable setting. But for us to kind of crack that shell and grow, even more, we had to come home and walk that walk here and, and, and test our metal so to speak. And it’s been wonderful and it’s been a cool journey and it continues to open and unfold and yeah, yeah.

Abby (00:46:26):

And then that integration process, that’s what they call it in the Ayahuasca world.

Leisia (00:46:34):

Yeah. You learn all these lessons and have these amazing insights in these ceremonies and all these healings. And then the science of it would say you’ve developed a new neurological association, but you still have this deeply entrenched association. So you have to go back and use practices like mindfulness, meditation breathing, to start to get that new neural pathway worn in because it’s very easy when you go back to a familiar environment around familiar people to just flip back to the old neurological association that the previous behavioral patterns and that’s the challenge of it. And that’s the integration that’s, that’s what you’re integrating is, is being hyper mindful and aware so that you’re not just flipping back into this entrenched pattern to, to dig into a new association, to expand and keep those insights functional. Yeah. Yeah.

Abby (00:47:37):

And it’s that balance when you’re at the retreat center you’re fully immersed or this beautiful open-hearted community that understands it to like gets it that is there for you that is loving and magic everywhere, the medicine, which opens you up to even more magic everywhere. And it’s beautiful nature and this cleanness of all of that of no, no static around and then coming back and then it hits the fan.

Leisia (00:48:06):

It’s real life. It’s like, how do you navigate to it, yeah, it’s absolutely that. And it’s, and it’s, and that’s been necessary, like I see how some people are meant to stay in the jungle and some people are meant to, to stay there. And some people get stuck there because it’s easy. It becomes the safe thing, the familiar thing, the comfortable thing. Cause it was very uncomfortable to come back and kind of get reoriented and, and figure out how to stay feeling connected to that. It’s a very spiritual thing. Like both Leah and I firmly feel like the plant medicine, some work we did, it’s highly spiritual and it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s like religion to us. It is religion. It’s a church. And how do you maintain that connection and how do you remember that and stay in that place when you’re in a world that isn’t reminding you every moment of every day, because you’re not in the jungle, living in the land with the plants and the medicine.

Abby (00:49:14):

Yeah. Yeah.

Abby (00:49:17):

Do you feel like that’s part of what medicine wants us to call us there to remember and then bring that awareness out into the world? That’s a great

Leisia (00:49:27):

Question. Yes, hugely. It was Lee who kind of put it well. He talks about how, when you’re working with the medicines, you’re not just having an experience with the plants. The plants are also occupying your body and having an experience through you and your being. And when you work with the medicines and you have the fortunate opportunity to heal and to kind of wake up to a new level of awareness, I feel that you become an ambassador of the medicine. You represent the medicine because you’re representing all the possible potential realities and the love that was, that came out of that healing or that awakening or that, that sacred experience. And that’s exactly, we need to be walking more of that walk, you know, you open your eyes to see how, wow, we’re all just adults, but acting out our, our, our traumas and our hurts from when we were toddlers and babies and children.

Leisia (00:50:45):

And with this level of unawareness and dissociation and detachment, if we remembered in every waking moment that we are divine beings having a human experience and that we are all of the same divinity, then I would remember constantly that you are me. And you’re a reflection of me and I wouldn’t dare to be rude or condescending or treat you poorly in any way, because I would know that I’m treating myself poorly and our world would be a very different place. And those are the things, you know, when you’re in the jungle, those are the things you experience when you sit with people in the medicine.

Abby (00:51:28):

Yeah.

Abby (00:51:30):

Do you feel like we’re moving towards that, that place of remembering that we are these divine beings having a human experience that is all connected?

Leisia (00:51:40):

I feel so. I feel like even if it’s not on a conscious level, we’re all striving for connection. It’s, it’s a, it’s an interesting piece of the human condition to me that we are so socially reliant and socially connected. And yet we are all dying to be ourselves and express, but we all have this fearfully expressing ourselves. And the way that that gets articulated in quilts and others is that we try to shut someone down for shining too much or saying too much or being themselves too much because it makes us uncomfortable. After all, we don’t allow ourselves to express ourselves fully. I feel like that’s very much the case because fundamentally everybody wants that.

Leisia (00:52:26):

Yeah. Everybody

Leisia (00:52:27):

Wants to belong and be loved for themselves, wholly and completely and fully.

Abby (00:52:35):

Absolutely. Yeah. It feels like the work that I was doing. And then a lot of healers are doing it similarly. And I love when you describe how I also take someone back to the beginning of trauma and reframes it, rewires it. So there’s a new synapse. So, that person no longer heats up to keep operating from that place of trauma and there are things. That’s what so many healers do through regression therapy, through cognitive behavioral therapy, you know, through the shamanic work that we’ve learned through Wendy. It’s interesting to see the parallels in that. But I feel like this trauma healing is getting us all back there. It’s like peeling off the fill between our awareness and our true self, which is free and inherently connected and inherently belongs. And this work that many are choosing to do, and some are being pushed into doing through like healing ourselves is, is like the map there, map back to that place of belonging and, and freedom.

Leisia (00:53:53):

Absolutely. Yeah. I agree. There are so many ways to get to those, root traumas and there are so many different modalities, new modalities, ancient modalities, there’s a lot of new phenomenal research being done, in trauma and child development that is just it’s. Yeah, it’s very, I feel like our awareness is growing and our desire is growing as a global culture for sure. Part of that process, just like with any of it is the discomfort of, of sitting in it and it’s, it can be, it can feel very destructive because you kind of have to break through all the different layers to get to the source and then once you’re there, then it’s, then you can grow now. So it is uncomfortable, but it’s super effective. And, and even with this, like to your point, the mandates to be isolating to self-isolate isolation is a very shamanic and very spiritual practice.

Leisia (00:55:02):

Like, and we’re asking our entire populations to self-isolate with no spiritual or Chemonics support. That is a big undertaking. So a lot of people are facing up to a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff is coming to the surface for better or worse and it’s being supported for better or worse. And so I do feel like it’s a collective kind of somewhat forced awakening. It’s, it’s very, it’s very powerful. There’s a reason why most cultures are spiritual or shamanic, or, or not, when, when you’re, you know, some cultures, when you reach a certain age, you go off on a vision quest to find yourself it’s by yourself. And it’s, you’re alone in the wilderness. You’re, you’re, there’s a lot about being by yourself when you’ve got no distractions. That there’s a reason for that. There’s a very deep self-realizing self-actualizing reason for that is very powerful. So yeah, I do feel like we’re headed in that direction from all different angles,

Abby (00:56:08):

All ankles. Yeah. All the angles that are needed. And, yeah, it’s, it’s that Rite of passage that so many, so many cultures and tribal cultures and different cultures have of that growing up and, you know, becoming an adult, becoming a new title, becoming something new, hopefully, multiple times that each of our lives, and we’re collectively going through this metamorphosis. And what we’ve become is up to our openness and willingness to look at ourselves as well. I feel this is the support that we get. However, that support looks to have a guide walking you through the darkness. I was like, oh yeah, I’ve been there. I know that feeling. It’ll be okay. You just have to go on and continue unpacking this stuff.

Leisia (00:56:59):

Absolutely. And you know, we’ve seen in the last few years, an explosion in coaching, I don’t think that’s a coincidence. I don’t feel that’s a coincidence at all. And people are seeing the necessity of having someone who can be a sounding board for them and can help them navigate whatever expression it’s going to take.

Abby (00:57:21):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Abby (00:57:23):

And everyone needs it differently. Everyone thinks and looks and responds differently. And I love the way that you use the term destructive as waste. Now, if we’re thinking in architecture and then just now it’s an ultimately productive process he constructs so that you can reconstruct.

Leisia (00:57:45):

Hm. Yeah. And there’s nowhere on earth that I’ve seen that more vividly than in the jungle. The jungle is such intense energy and the life-death cycle is so fast and in your face. And so like, there’s just so much life condensed into the rainforest. Like it’s, everything is alive and moving and eating something and like re having to lay eggs. And then it’s just like, it’s just life, death, life, death, life-death. It’s amazing. Like, like the best example I could give is, you know, how, when you’re growing up, I don’t know if your mom said this. I feel like most people’s moms were like, don’t leave, crumbs out. The bugs are going to get bugs in the house. And it’s kind of anecdotal in Canada. Well, the jungle, it’s not anecdotal. If you don’t have a surface, you’re going to get either tiny little spiders or like tiny little ants or cockroaches, like something’s going to come and eat it. You know, like within minutes within minutes and it’ll be gone. Like there was no trace of what was on the counter. No trace of the heads,

Abby (00:58:48):

Army of creatures within a few minutes of leaving it. Yeah. Yeah.

Leisia (00:58:52):

I mean, living in the jungle, I know there were a few times where he’d have something show up kind of dead and I’d never move it. I would just leave it and it would be gone and the jungle would re-consume it and, you know, go, yeah. I remember stepping out of my door once and being like, how come there’s a plastic bag hanging from my porch. And then I looked at it closer and it was this big, long snakeskin hanging from my porch.

Abby (00:59:22):

Oh, never mind. I’m in a different world. Yeah. The energy is so cold compared to Canada where I’m right now going into winter, it’s cold. It becomes very quiet, very subdued. I enjoy it as a way of self-reflection as a kind of data and a little way. And in the jungle, it is so alive and the vibration and the buzz are so strong. It’s so intense. And it takes time to adjust to that, to adjust to that vibration. Or you, you were just a part of it and you can’t be, you can’t just hide inside with your sweater and cup of tea and be comfortable. You accept what you’re in and allow yourself to be a part of it.

Leisia (01:00:10):

Yeah. Yep. That’s and it’s cool. Like, you know, on, on the Pacific coast, we’re still in a rainforest, it’s just a temperate rainforest and you feel slow like it’s a dial back a bit is not, there’s not the intensity. There’s not the tropical heat, the torrential rains like there are heavy rains here, but it’s, it kinda just drizzles buckets. It doesn’t just pelt down all the time. So it’s just, it’s different, it’s still intense, but it’s like a more drawn-out intense. There’s still power, but it’s kind of slower, bigger, steady, or power.

Abby (01:00:51):

Yeah. It’s like the sweet spot between the two.

Leisia (01:00:55):

I love the Pacific Northwest. Beautiful

Abby (01:00:59):

There. It’s very special. Yeah. So I want to ask you too, about what they call the Ikaros. So that’s the music, the song that the Shama and that the iOS girl is saying is when working with the medicine, how does that work?

Leisia (01:01:17):

So for the Shapebos, culturally, they don’t see a difference between sight and sound. They experience it simultaneously, and you get to experience this. You may experience this when you ever work with Ayahuasca, where you will start to see. I can’t think of the term. Certain people think, as the sounds will start and they’ll see colors flash. And I can’t think of the term for it, but they experienced that as well. And so what they see is that life is vibration and it can be an auditory vibration or a visual vibration. And we are vibrating beings. And when you’re in the medicine, they see our vibration and they see areas where energy isn’t flowing and it’s bound up or areas where we have a lack of energy and it’s kind of an open hole. So to speak, if you can picture a sweater.

Leisia (01:02:18):

So you’re like a whole bunch of stitching stuck here, and then a big hole here and through the [inaudible] and the medicine songs through the vibration of the sound, they help pull out and tease out where the energy is all knotted up and it creates a pattern of vibration and they fill in or stitch together the areas where there’s a lack of, of, of energy. And again, continue. So they see us as vibrating patterns and the songs and the egos that they sing with Ayahuasca and in the ceremony are vibrations that help, yeah. Fix our vibrations, get our vibration all kind of more even, and I’m flowing. Yeah. And they’re very powerful. Absolutely.

Abby (01:03:08):

Yeah. We’ve, we’ve each felt that it’s visceral, you know, common singing to you, very strong, usually leads to, can lead to tears or laughter or, insights, all kinds of things.

Leisia (01:03:24):

Yeah. Sometimes it’s beautiful. Sometimes you just want to run away cause it’s just like stop it’s too many events. Yeah. There’s that , yeah. It’s a really important part of their ceremony. And one of the things that I love that’s happening in the jungle right now is, there’s a center called the Rio SPO center and they’re doing research with universities and they’re doing research with plant medicines. But the kicker for me that I think is valuable, that isn’t being seen is they’re doing their research in conjunction with the ceremonial setting. And they’re talking about, and looking at the effectiveness and the importance and the importance of the ceremony and the sacred set and setting for healing. And through all of my experiences of sitting with the medicine, that’s one piece that I feel can’t be stressed enough is the set and setting, because it is such a potential, it’s a very vulnerable process. And it’s potentially so destructive that if, you want to make sure that you’re sitting in a very trusted, safe in, in, in its integrity set and setting to hold that space for you to go to those deep places, to be able to surface all of those very, entrenched traumas to get that energy moving. And, you must have somebody there to hold space so that that energy can shift. Absolutely. And the egos are a big part of that, for sure. Yeah.

Abby (01:05:08):

It’s like building a relationship with the plant-like you said, and you don’t take your powerful guru teacher and healer to the nightclub to learn some are sacred, some quieter, some safer. Yeah. Well, that’s funny. That’s how most of us introduce it or not, I shouldn’t say most of us. That is how I was first introduced to plant medicines with mushrooms when I was younger and it was in the party scene and it was beautiful. But, I hadn’t tapped into the potential that it has when taken in with a sense of respect and even reverence and intention.

Leisia (01:05:55):

Yeah. And if I could add to that, actually we did have a DJ come to the jungle. I like the DJ and his music. He talks about how music is very influential. And when you’ve got a crowd going the energy guilds in the crowd, and he talked about, actually, we had a few people come through the jungle who were involved in music or light lighting, which was interesting, interesting. And they would use the lighting in their music and create a certain atmosphere where they would say they had X, they would push the energy of the crowd, and people would have these moments of epiphany or revelation or shift in there, in themselves, through the music, a different experience. It’s very, it’s, it hits kind of a different place than sitting with a shaman with plant medicine. This is, you know, typically being used with things like MVMA and stuff in, in that sense. However, some people go and there are collective groups that go with the intention of that and have that love and that intention of like a collective building of energy building of love and, and, and breakthrough. So that was really, I never really thought of it that way before. And that was cool to hear, but a very different way about approaching that. Yeah. And it’s,

Abby (01:07:23):

It’s our cultures, our, our causes this, this Western modernized culture’s way of working with rhythm and movement and sound too, do what we did, what we’ve done for so long and tribal cultures would, you know, like dancing around a fire to a certain motion and movement and rhythm and chanting that would induce these trans states and create healing and breakthroughs and, and release, blocks for people. And we’re still intuitively finding ways of doing that.

Leisia (01:08:01):

Yeah. Yeah. And, and again, just a, it is a very different way, a very different

Abby (01:08:07):

Way. Yeah. Very different setting. When I club versus Ayahuasca. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful healing in their ways, but not together.

Leisia (01:08:20):

Yeah. That wouldn’t be something that I would hurry up to experience.

Abby (01:08:25):

All right. So, it grows. And so, you were taught that it grows in your training, is that right? Yeah, certainly girls’ songs.

Leisia (01:08:34):

Yeah. We were, we were studying it on Enrique and that was a part of the time it was all these plant medicines, but it also felt like music camp. Cause there was, you’re singing all the time and you’re learning the medicine songs and you’re also, sometimes you’re inspired and a new melody comes. So you’re taught that an eco with a melody and sometimes you end up with your melody. And so, but you’re singing constantly and you’re just you’re and that’s building and shifting energy as well, constantly. So yeah, it was, it was fun. It was like, I didn’t know that studying shamanism was like just music all the time.

Leisia (01:09:14):

Who knew to be the spot.

Leisia (01:09:16):

Yeah. This is awesome. It’s very,

Abby (01:09:20):

Very essential. You’re not reading out of a textbook you’re doing

Leisia (01:09:23):

It. Yep. Yeah. And you’re feeling it and you’re just you’re. Yeah. And it’s either just on your one-on-one or sometimes, you know, and you’d sit down and, and, and, and sing together. And that was, that was very beautiful. Mm, absolutely. I can imagine.

Abby (01:09:41):

And so I’ve heard you saying different medicine songs, and I think that it’s so beautiful and so powerful and I feel the energy moving and I feel tears releasing and this getting, you know, the clarity and the insights and the healing. That reminds me of the jungle and Peru and Ayahuasca. And last time you sang I felt like I was like, the plants were right there. They’re right back here. And it was such a treat to feel that and to remember that, and it’s like, they’re not that far away. They’re right here. I’m so grateful for that. Thank you, me too. Thank you. So how would you feel about singing on Ikaros today? Sure.

Leisia (01:10:30):

I’d love to share it with any girl. I’ll just, I tend to close my eyes before I sing to any girl. Cause I was taught to see me grow as I was your kind of cue up and connect with the plants. I’m just going to take a moment.

Abby (01:10:47):

Yeah. No one will see you. The audience makes all the faces you want and takes as much time as you like. All right.

Leisia (01:10:59):

Singing

Leisia (01:11:37):

Singing

Leisia (01:17:20):

Thank you. Yeah, that’s beautiful. Yeah, that certainly brings the jungle right in close.

Abby (01:17:30):

Absolutely. Like being in a ceremony again.

Abby (01:17:33):

Oh yeah.

Abby (01:17:37):

What does that feel like for you to sing it? Oh, man. singing

Leisia (01:17:43):

The ceremony is my favorite thing ever. I love it. I love the feel of the energy. It just, it doesn’t even feel like I’m singing. It feels like I’m just open and experiencing my body singing. And to sing, I’m just very grateful to have the Ikaros and I love just really diving in and sinking into them and playing with them and just hearing how they’re coming through. It’s been a journey too. At first, it was a lot about really spending energy and time thinking about how it sounds. And now it’s a lot more just being open and allowing it to just be in flow-through in that. Yeah. That’s yeah. It just feels great. It was great to receive it. Yeah.

Abby (01:18:36):

I get it. When you’re singing. I could feel, I imagine everyone who’s listening to this, getting to receive it in their way and just the healing energy that kind of weaves all over. Thank you.

Leisia (01:18:49):

Thank you. Yeah, it’s definitely, those are beautiful powerful songs. The second one is a beautiful blessing and medicinal acro. it’s done in your case, family acre row and, it’s absolutely, it’s powerful. It’s a visceral one to sing for me and it’s very, very powerful. I hope it does offer people that, that moment of, I don’t know, ease, love, joy

Abby (01:19:19):

Healing. I feel like it’ll give them whatever they need at that moment. Yeah.

Abby (01:19:27):

Oh, it has been such a pleasure. How thank you and how can people, people want to work with you, how can they best reach out to you?

Leisia (01:19:40):

The best way to reach out to me is either on Facebook, at Leisia Shopik that’s my profile on Facebook, or by email, which is leisia.shopik@gmail.com.

Abby (01:20:03):

Yeah. Okay. Beautiful. Yeah.

Abby (01:20:06):

And it’s been such a treat too, cause I met you in Peru. I don’t know how many years ago it was four or five years ago. The numbers keep going up because that’s good. That’s how time works. It feels like forever, but also yesterday. Yeah. And so it’s been a real treat to go on a kind of similar journey and watch you grow and while I grow, so thank you on the path.

Leisia (01:20:34):

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you so much. It’s been phenomenal. It’s been amazing to share this journey with you and to, and I say share just because you’re a constant source of inspiration watching you move and be inspired and just you’re, you’re very daring and you’re very, action-oriented. And the practice that you have is inspiring. Your sessions are very, very powerful and very valuable. Thank you.

Abby (01:21:02):

You too. Yeah. That’s the beauty of getting to have healer friends like, Hey, help. Yeah. I guess just in general, it’d be able to say help. It’s a great thing to ask and receive help. Yeah. Thank you for all the help that you’ve given me, which has been a lot, and, yeah, everyone has their gifts and yours are beautiful and many, and thank you for sharing them with the world.

Leisia (01:21:31):

Hmm. Thank you so much. This has been phenomenal and likewise, it’s, yeah. It’s like, I’m excited to see how it all unfolds and where it all goes. It’s been such a phenomenal journey thus far it’s and it just keeps getting better and better.

Abby (01:21:45):

Absolutely. Absolutely. And,

Abby (01:21:47):

Thank you to everyone listening and yeah. Reach out to Leisia. She’s a wonderful healer, iOS Garah, and singer. Yeah, thanks so much, everyone.

Abby (01:22:08):

Thanks for listening to the mindbodyfree podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you did leave us a review and subscribe, so you can stay up to date with future episodes and you can learn more at mind, body free.com/podcast. I’m your host Abigail Moss, and I’ll see you next time.

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Live Dream Coaching: Lisa’s Dream

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Live Coaching: Lisa's Dream

Live Dream Coaching: Lisa’s Dream

In this live dream coaching session, I guide Lisa through a process of understanding the deeper meaning held within one of her dreams. She unpacks powerful aspects of herself and her diverse family lineage as the wisdom of her ancestors and guides speak to her through her dream.

Connect with Lisa:
lisawongcreatingbalance.ca
Facebook
Instagram

 


 

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Looking for more support?

Schedule a free discovery call here

Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.

 


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00):

Hello, and welcome to the mindbodyfree podcast. I am your host Abigail Moss. And today I am speaking with the lovely Lisa Wong, who is gracious to be my guest today. We’re going to be doing some work together on understanding one of Lisa’s dreams and unpacking that and kind of learning a process of really discovering the deep meaning and rich insight and healing wisdom that our dreams can hold for us. So before we jump into that, I want to share a little bit about Lisa. She’s a beautiful teacher, a mentor, a healer. She is a spiritual intuitive coach and mentor author Reiki, master creator, and master of dragon path, energy healing, NLP, and CBT practitioner. Having experienced many facets of life. She has dedicated herself to her healing and understanding working in her own shadow and understanding the necessity of our shadow has brought her to this place of infinite healing. She’s honored to share her gifts with you as a coach, mentor, teacher, or practitioner as you walk your journey through this lifetime, just as a beautiful spirit guide and has a great sense of down-to-earth humor, which I appreciate, especially in the spiritual world. So thank you, Lisa. Welcome. Thanks

Lisa (01:25):

Abigail. It’s lovely to be here with you.

Abby (01:27):

Well, we have you, so you dream obviously to tell me about what dreams are like for you. You remember them often, do you have vivid dreams? What’s that world like for you right now?

Lisa (01:40):

Dreams for me have always been vivid. They have always been in color and for me, they are more representative of a journey, and there, not a lot of disconnection within my dreams. They’re usually quite fluid and how they transition. Some of them are very easy to understand and others not so much.

Abby (02:12):

Yeah. Sometimes there’s the one where it’s like WTF was that.

Lisa (02:18):

Those are the ones. Yeah. I am very excited about this cause I have a very interesting dream to share when we get to that point. So I’m excited about it as well. Cause I enjoy learning about myself and learning from people as beautiful as you as well. You

Abby (02:40):

Thank you. Yeah. When it comes to learning, I just feel like it’s a lifelong process and just getting to be around other people who are on this path is so fun. And it’s so exciting because I can talk about stuff like that. And then this. And then this just keeps sparking and more momentum and growth and it’s a lot of fun. Having been, you know, growing up as the weirdo and then meeting the other weirdos. It’s like, it’s great to be a weirdo.

Lisa (03:16):

I agree with that as well.

Abby (03:24):

Weirdos unite.

Lisa (03:24):

Let’s make it weird.

Abby (03:26):

Yeah, exactly. All right. So tell me about this dream. So this, this dream that you want to look at today is that a vivid dream or, A scary or colorful, or what was that dream life?

Lisa (03:42):

It was vivid. And my, I, I dream in color pretty much all the time. Cool. I rarely have a monochrome dream and this dream is really interesting because there were so many things transitioning throughout the dream and it went so quickly that, I am, I’m still trying to process the information, obviously it wasn’t, one of those dreams for me that was easy to go, I got the message on that one. This one is an interesting dream. And to be given with when the dream began, I saw this wall of clay in a building and it was interesting because the architecture was very ancient and there was this very smooth wall. And then I saw the face begin to form within the side of the wall, the face wasn’t frightening. It was there. And the wall was kind of a brownish color. It wasn’t dark brown, it wasn’t light brown. It was kind of brown and red and gold. And this face appeared on this wall.

Lisa (05:21):

And then it kind of went, I don’t know if you know what a cut, how a cut scene goes, where everything just kind of cuts and then you’re into a different scene. And this is what happened within this next scene. There was this face of this very young person, unaware of the sexual orientation of this person. Their hair was pulled right back off their face. So I couldn’t tell very large green eyes, very smooth, clear skin. And all I could see was the neck and the head, very pleasing to look at. And I felt that I wanted to connect with this person, this being right then. And it was almost that feeling of being greedy, to interact with this person, wanting to have that connection right away, and being impatient, that it couldn’t happen immediately. As soon as I had that understanding and my dream, we went to another cutscene where this person disappeared. And we went to another cut scene, which was a village and the village was built into the side of a mountain. And yet there was the ocean or a sea below it. And all of the buildings were made of clay and stone.

Lisa (07:00):

All of the people were dressed in very colorful clothes. And every person that was represented was different in coloring in the race, in the things they were carrying. It didn’t appear as if there was one specific type of person that was in this village. It was so eclectic and so amazing. And there was music playing in the background. And on one side of the street, it was one kind of music. And on the other side of the street, it was another kind of music. And there was no clashing of the music. They worked together. And after I spent some time there, I went to the last cutscene, which was the wall again with the door. And that’s when I woke up

Abby (08:19):

Making some notes furiously over here. Yeah. Like a quick it’s like, you’ve got a full movie download. That’s how my dreams are so interesting. I love it. It’s so interesting too. I find that when you pay attention to your dreams, they have lots to say, it’s like, you’re listening. All right. I have all this to tell you. Okay, what we’ll do is we’ll, I’m going to kind of make some notes for some key symbols in your dream. And then together, we’ll go into each symbol and start unpacking what it has, what that one means. And then it’s going to start making more sense as we look at each symbol, the other ones are going to make more sense too. Cause we’re going to get more context as we go. Okay. Okay. Cool. Beautiful. So you see, we started with the wall of clay in a building with ancient architecture and there’s a smooth wall where a face formed.

Abby (09:11):

So let’s just start with the building that you were in. And so something that I would kind of like to do, I don’t feel like it’s super necessary. Cause I feel like you’re a very connected person, but I think just connecting quickly with the light and providing the support of our guys and guardians as we go on this journey. So let’s just close our eyes real quick and just imagine some light pouring down from above. And I’ll take you through your head, your brain, eyes, ears, throat, arms, hands, and into your lungs, belly, hips, and legs. Just feeling that pouring down and just melting into you and feeling some tree roots, going into the earth and plugging in with a core of mother earth. I find that pulsing life force and feeling mother earth send some love up your tree, roots up your legs, into the center of your chest, and then feeling light, radiating out, filling your whole body, the whole room you’re in whole building in that light feel from above and then below filling the whole city, the whole country and the whole planet. And just feeling ourselves like connected and supportive from above and below and wrapped in a bubble of light and just the volume of support from our guys, guardians angels, and beings of light to work with us, to support and guide us and understand Lisa’s dream for the highest good of all. And creating a safe and sacred space to do so that dream just was like, woof, feeling it again.

Abby (11:07):

Yeah. There’s a lot there. I can feel that too. Yeah. As soon as you mentioned the face appearing on the wall, I was like, there’s some, well I can feel the tingles. Okay, good. So let’s become that building more and more energy as we talk. Do you feel that that’s great? Okay. So how it works is yeah. Lisa spanned herself. Okay. Got it. Because we feel you, So how it works is I’m going to ask you to become the building and you’re going to say as the building I am, and then give me three words to describe yourself and say I am, and then whatever three words come to mind

Lisa (11:59):

Like the building, I am strong, flexible, and supportive.

Abby (12:12):

Okay, perfect. And strong, flexible, supportive. What do you represent for Lisa? Okay.

Lisa (12:24):

For Lisa, I represent okay. Support that. Wasn’t always there in my understanding as I was growing up.

Abby (12:40):

And what messages might you have for Lisa? There was always support. Okay.

Lisa (12:57):

You have always been a person of strength and you have found kindness in being flexible in your understanding of your healing.

Abby (13:11):

All right. So we’re going to let that go for now when you just kind of wash that away with light. And I want to tune in with the face that forms in that wall and that smooth wall. So has the face, can you give me three words to describe yourself, facade truth, breakthrough energy, there, facade truth breaks through what do you represent for Elisa?

Lisa (13:58):

Yeah, that represents to me in accepting myself wholly and completely with all of the attributes that I have that make up who I am in my entirety.

Abby (14:17):

Okay. Perfect. And how’s the face? What messages might you have for Lisa?

Lisa (14:25):

Thank you for embracing all of your cultures. Interesting. They are as one. Yeah. I can feel that.

Abby (14:39):

Yeah. Beautiful. Whew. All right. They’re going to let that go for now. And we’re going to move to the next scene. So we had the cutscene where we went to the face of a very young person who was in the Trojan office and they had large green eyes and smooth, clear skin and they, and you wanted to connect with them, and you kind of felt impatient and almost Creedy about wanting to connect. So let’s become that person in that scene. So as that person, can you give me three words to describe yourself: patient, receptive, expensive, right? Patient X is receptive, expansive. What do you represent for Lisa?

Lisa (15:53):

The connection does not necessarily have to happen on the physical plane. Yeah. Thank goodness. The other interesting thing. It was a stop searching.

Abby (16:11):

Which is interesting to me. What did that mean to you?

Lisa (16:26):

I feel as if there’s a connection between a long-term friendship that ended in a not ideal manner and for a time wondering if I would ever be able to reconnect with another human being on that level of trust and security.

Abby (17:01):

And there’s, I want to kind of unpack that more, but I also want to keep going with the dream. So hold me back for now. All right. So I’d let that go for now. And let’s move into the third scene when we were in the village and built on the side of a mountain by the sea, and there were buildings made of clay and stone and all of these colorful people of all different cultures and races were in colorful clothes. And there was music playing from two different places. And it wasn’t clashing. It was working together. So let’s start with being the village. So as the village, what are three words you would use to yourself? Harmony allowing and opposites, right? Harmony allows opposites. What do you represent for Lisa?

Lisa (18:10):

The creation of the foundation that I have and accepting everything about who I am, who my family is, who my ancestors are, understanding that they have at times been on opposing sides of issues. And yet they came together in harmony at this one place at one time.

Abby (18:38):

Hmm. What a powerful thing. Do you have any messages for Lisa at this time as the village?

Lisa (18:48):

Something that I’ve been telling myself since I was a child, is that I fit wherever I am. There’s no need to fit in

Abby (19:00):

Wise words. All right. Now let’s let that go. Hey, so there’s the two songs. Let’s connect with one of the songs. So whichever one jumps into your mind first, and like that song, what are three words to describe yourself? Honoring ceremony, heartbeat, beautiful honoring ceremony, heartbeat. What do you represent for Lisa’s connection and what messages do you have for Lisa?

Lisa (19:42):

The first part that I’m receiving comes to me in a vision and it’s to go to the fire, to meet with the ancestors. And the second is the song of the Eagle, the Wolf, and the bear.

Abby (20:04):

Those sound like they have some deep significance for you. Is that a place where you’ve gone before to the fire to meet with the ancestors, or is that the first time that’s appeared in that vision for you?

Lisa (20:17):

One of my primary guides takes me to the fire.

Abby (20:22):

Yeah. Time to go do that. Maybe there’s a meeting on your calendar now with your guides. It’s a possibility. Beautiful. And then with the song of the Eagle Wolf and bear, are you comfortable sharing if you know what that means to you, have you, is that something that has been coming to you and visions before

Lisa (20:55):

Eagle is freedom? Wolf is intuition. Bear is strength. Mm, a powerful combination. Yeah. Beautiful.

Abby (21:14):

All kinds of tingles and chambers can feel the power of all that all of your grads are like right here. Whenever she’s ready. We’ll be here waiting for probably after we’re finished. Yeah. I was like, all right. You know, the memo now

Lisa (21:30):

Time to go into meditation.

Abby (21:31):

Yeah, totally. Okay. Beautiful. So thank you. So we can let that thing go. And let’s just kind of, I just want to ask you, and then we can unpack it a bit together. What that meant for you. Like what those scenes coming together felt like for you.

Lisa (21:55):

Two things had come to me. One was representative of my journey, from a place of beginning where the dream was into going to where I currently am and then maybe future casting a bit. The other thing that came to me is that there is an understanding about what community is socially and I’m not to get hung up on what community means as the dictionary tells us, the community is much more than that. And to expand into that. So

Abby (22:47):

Why is, you know, when you’re tagging, I just feel this sense of peace and calm. It’s like, Ugh, like all of the worldly things, it’s like, I just, like, I feel the perspective of your wisdom, but it’s just so nourishing to be in that field. So thank you. You’re welcome. Yeah. Especially during these times when there are all kinds of stuff in the field, that’s, you know, it can feel like a storm. It’s nice to be in that grounded presence of like I’m not to get caught up in what this says. Okay. So, yeah. And then, do you mind if I, I speak a little bit to what I saw as well in your

Lisa (23:29):

Dream. Okay, please, please. Am I excited to hear what you received?

Abby (23:34):

Yeah. Okay. So, and I’ve, I have kind of my notes here, so I’m just going to kind of touch on the notes and then talk a bit about kind of what it felt like on my side. So the building was this, strong, flexible support, and it didn’t always feel like it was there growing up, but the message that I had for you is that says, it said there’s always support and you’ve always been a person of strength and your kindness and flexibility in your journey of healing has created the strength in you. That’s beautiful. That’s so too. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. And you know, the building was made of clay and things were forming in that building. So it’s like it holds you up, but it can still also be moving and dynamic. And the face formed in that clay, the words were facade truth and breakthrough, and it represented accepting yourself wholly and completely. And, the message it had for you was just thanking you for embracing all of your cultures. And they are all one. I feel like there’s a lot of energy and a lot of power in that last sentence that it shares with you. I want to cry every time I touch it because there’s a lot of energy there.

Lisa (25:02):

Motional Energy through the lineage.

Abby (25:07):

Yeah. I can feel that. It’s like, all I have all these ancestors behind, like all these ancestors connected to you there. I feel like they’re all behind me and they’re all like, they’re excited. She’s like, she’s doing it, she’s bringing it together. So we’ve always wanted them to do that. They’ve got very enthusiastic energy either. Quite nice. You know, as I know

Lisa (25:39):

I enjoy my time with them.

Abby (25:42):

I bet. Okay. And moving on to the next scene, you felt into that person, that androgynous person and they were patient receptive and expansive and the, they represented, this message, that connection doesn’t necessarily have to happen on the physical plane and to stop searching. And what I kind of feel into that is the sense of just kind of the mind, you know, on the physical plane, the physical plane mind opening up the higher self-connection. So the soul, you that’s connected to many other souls and dimensions and deep, profound beingness and oneness. And that sense of just reminding the mind here, the personality part, Hey, there’s this other part, you know, as you let go of searching, you’ll find what’s already here is kind of tell me where I’m wrong. There

Lisa (26:55):

It’s so interesting because there’s, I almost feel as if, when I do my meditations and I go, wherever I go, depending on what my intention is, and I’m looking for connection, I’m searching for connection on these other dimensions in these other planes. And I feel as if maybe that’s the messages when you go, just go to experience, don’t go to look for something you don’t necessarily, it’s kind of like going for a hike and going, well, I’m going to go for a hike and I’m going to look for a, something, and then going on the hike and not experiencing that, that you put the expectation on, and then maybe feeling disappointed instead of going on the hike to experience the hiking itself.

Abby (27:57):

And that’s a great analogy.

Lisa (28:02):

Thank you. But that’s how I’m feeling. This being, this person was about to stop putting an expectation on where it is. Yeah.

Abby (28:16):

Yeah. Cause in that, when you were sharing that part of that scene, you said that in the dream, you felt this wanting to connect with that person and this impatience about wanting to connect well when you turned in with them, part of what they embodied was patience and receptivity can expand that. That’s so interesting.

Lisa (28:37):

It’s like, yeah, chill out.

Abby (28:40):

I know it’s ironic. Sometimes the less we try, the easier it is like that. Good. Yeah. Okay, good. So moving into the next scene. So scene three was the village and its key. It kind of feels like this brings, brings it all together. In the first and second scenes and this one, the village itself represented harmony and harmony allowing and opposites. And it was on the foundation that the foundation of acceptance of your family, your ancestors who came together in harmony at this one place and one time, and the message for you here was that you fit wherever you are. There’s no need to fit in kind of yes. Yeah. And I, you know, it’s this, this kind of sense of wherever I am is where I belong because I belong to me.

Abby (29:49):

Yes, absolutely.

Abby (29:53):

And then there was, we connected with the song there. There were two songs playing in that village, but they were kind of playing, in harmony, like they were working together, they didn’t clash and they represented the honoring ceremony and heartbeat. And they were about connection. And they said to go to the fire to meet with the ancestors and the song of the EA and the other vision that came with that as a message was the song of the Eagle Wolf and bear, which represent freedom, intuition, and strength. So the next step, to have an action item from the streets.

Abby (30:35):

Yay. Here’s is your next task on your journey of life? Yeah, so it feels like a lot of it, the overarching feeling was, you know, you’re supported, you’re strong and you’ve built this strength through your flexibility and your kindness in your journey of healing. And that connection is, is there, it’s expensive, it’s patient, or it’s receptive. And, you know, connecting with this person, what you felt and connected with is already within you, you know, like that, that space, that, that sense of connection is already available to you. And with that song, there’s that heartbeat, that connection that comes in. And, and it’s telling you to go back to that fire to go to connect back in with the Eagle Wolf and bear.

Lisa (31:39):

And it’s interesting. Cause, one of my primary guides, his name is soaring Eagle.

Abby (31:46):

Beautiful. What a beautiful guy to have it

Lisa (31:50):

Is. And of course, he’s representative of my indigenous culture within my great makeup.

Abby (31:56):

Exactly. Yeah. I move. And when you, as you say that within my great makeup of me, like, I feel all of this so much power in that because there’s so much history and all these lineages, like there’s so much strength within each individual lineage and then also the strength in this union and harmony of coming together and learning how to do that. You know, the act of doing that is such a beautiful and profound thing as well.

Lisa (32:23):

And I honestly feel that a lot of my journey growing up is coming to terms with the diversity of who I am and the people in my lineage who came together to create this being that is me.

Abby (32:46):

Yeah. It’s quite beautiful. It is quite beautiful. Just a whole colorful, vibrant village. What an interesting place to be. I’d rather, I’d love to be there instead of, you know, the same Ville. Well, that does make for an interesting conversation. Yeah. Right. But when you know that I’m sure that wisdom and that perspective, you know, that, that grants you is something that is very needed in this world any time. But especially at these times.

Lisa (33:30):

I think understanding having experienced so many things in my life and coming to an understanding, even working through some of the anger that I felt towards people towards society when I was younger and bringing myself to a place of healing and understanding, and coming to understand the situation, the dynamic and giving and gifting forgiveness for myself and everyone else was very profound for me.

Abby (34:10):

If there is someone who is in that situation where they’re trying to reconcile different cultures, different backgrounds, or, you know, being in a clash among cultures, what would you say to them on their journey,

Lisa (34:34):

Be true to your heart first it’s to who you are, be understanding of yourself, allow people to have their opinions and their understandings, however, understand that that is not your truth, nor your reality. And by allowing people to have their understanding, that allows you to educate.

Abby (35:13):

I feel that whole resonance detangling down my body. Thank you. You’re welcome. Yeah. So how can people find you if they’d like to work with you, Lisa,

Lisa (35:26):

If people would like to work with me, they can find me on my website, which is www.lisawongcreatingbalance.ca They can email me at lisa@lisawongcreatingbalance.ca. They can find me on Facebook, @lisawongcreatingbalance, and on Instagram at @lisa.wong.creating.balance.

Abby (35:52):

Awesome. Yeah, I love it. Well, thank you so much for doing what you do, for being you, for being this part of this unity of all of these different eclectic peoples and histories, and for the unique wisdom and, and expression of you that you share with the world.

Lisa (36:19):

Thank you, Abigail. That is gratefully received.

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Juliet Root: Mastering Your Inner World

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Juliet Root: Mastering Your Inner World

Juliet Root is a transformation coach, integrative healer, nutritionist & host of The Woo Cast Podcast. She shares her 15-year journey from starting in the fitness and nutrition industry to moving into the more metaphysical and spiritual work that she is currently practicing with clients all around the world. Her passion is to help people release, reconnect and root into their power so they can live a life full of magic and bliss.

Connect with Juliet:
Instagram @juliet_root
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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:01):

Hello, and welcome to the Mindbodyfree podcast. I’m your host, Abigail Moss. And today I’m here with a very wonderful guest Juliet Root, and she is a transformation coach and integrative healer, a nutritionist, and host of the Woo cast podcast, which I highly recommend checking out. There are so many incredible conversations on there, and she shares her 15-year journey from starting in the fitness and nutrition industry to moving into the more metaphysical and spiritual work that she is currently practicing with clients all around the world. Her passion is to help people release. We connect and root into their power so they can live a life full of magic and bliss. Juliet. Thank you for being here.

Juliet (00:00:51):

Thank you. This is very exciting to be on your show. I’ve been wanting to chat with you on your show for a while. So very honored to be a guest.

Abby (00:01:03):

I’m so glad that we got to do this and I’m grateful for the work that you do. So you’ve been on a 15-year journey. So tell us a little bit about that journey. Like how did you, when did that, when did it all begin?

Juliet (00:01:18):

Okay. Everybody brace yourself for a four-hour podcast.

Juliet (00:01:24):

I’m just kidding. But, well I went through a lot of hardships in my childhood. A lot of trauma just kind of keeps things condensed, but a lot of like big T incidents that happened when I was young, my mom getting very sick and not being able to take care of me. I have a twin brother. So take care of us. My, uh, brother ended up being very sick as well when we were teenagers and going through, uh, a lot of that. And then right after my dad passed away from a heart attack. So there were just all, there were a lot of things. And then not to mention all of the webs of trauma that was throughout the childhood, not just those incidents, but just having a very chaotic, messy upbringing. And I sort of had to take care of myself from the time I was very young and I was probably around 10 when I felt like more of an adult than I needed to feel.

Juliet (00:02:35):

And after my dad died, when I was 16, I became technically an orphan. And I had an aunt too. I hadn’t, wasn’t very close with, but she adopted me, but it was kind of odd being adopted at that age because I had already, like I said, been acting like an adult and very independent for all these years. And then I was, I had to move away to a different, and uh, about nine months into that, I ended up taking her to court and becoming a man supported. And I was very fortunate because she was understanding and actually provided me a lot of love and support, even though I was not having it with her being my guardian. And I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. But in those nine months, I was with her and it was very transformative because she helped me be responsible and set some ground rules.

Juliet (00:03:31):

Like if you do these things, then I’ll let you be emancipated. So I had to do a little bit of extra growing up in that time to be able to do that. And when, uh, when I was living with her for those nine months, one of the big pieces of my healing journey, which had kind of already started a couple of years prior, just from, from having a poor self-image, but it looking back it’s, it’s all interconnected in a way that was very healing for me was I had been exercising and taking care of my physical body and eating a healthier diet. And even though it was sort of under the umbrella of, I don’t like the way I look and I felt a lot of self-loathing, but it was very helpful for my mental health and wellbeing because, uh, working out, I think it saved my life and it provided a release and like endorphins.

Juliet (00:04:32):

And during that time, after my dad died, that was the only relief I was getting from feeling so sad and so depressed. And so I would go to the gym when I was living with my aunt every day, pretty much, I remember taking a bus over an hour to get to this gym so I could go and be with myself and work out. And that started my path of loving health and fitness because it just helped me so much. It was so transformative. And when I moved out and moved back to New York, which is where I’m from, I went to pursue it full time and became a personal trainer at barely 18 years old. You couldn’t get certification until you were 18, but I convinced this manager of a gym to hire me. I said I promise you, I will do a good job.

Juliet (00:05:32):

And I don’t know at that moment I felt so in my, in my path and purpose and nothing was going to stop me. And those are really interesting moments in life that I have paid attention to. And that was one of the first moments of, of realizing like when something is almost like divinely in your path and for you, there’s a feeling that you get, or at least that get that it’s like there aren’t a lot of questions and what if, and what if I don’t get it or whatever at that moment, it was like, I will do anything. This is what I need to be doing right now. And so I started working as a trainer and it just kind of took off from there. And for many years I did that. And then I ended up moving to Philadelphia and owning some gyms eventually with a business partner. And that was awesome. I ended up going back to school to get a nutrition degree and that kind of complimented all the fitness stuff. And that is where the more holistic part of the journey began once I went back to school to study nutrition. So I don’t know how much more we want to go into, but that’s the little, like, there’s just sort of the path.

Abby (00:06:49):

There are so many juicy things I want to pull out from what you just said. Yeah. You know, and so like you, you kind of, whether you did or didn’t sign up for it, you got, you got a life of really rapid growth kind of pushed into you early on with all the big T traumas you talked about and you know, as we all respond differently to that kind of stuff and you took it and you’ve just got effing strong.

Juliet (00:07:18):

Yeah. It’s metaphorically and literally who I am.

Abby (00:07:24):

Yeah, I mean, you’re one of the strongest people I know. And, it’s, you know, metaphorically and literally, it’s incredible how, you know, how that can forge people overcoming challenges like that. Not that it’s, you know, an easy process, we dance out of fully unscathed, but to see the way that, that kind of forged you into this path, and I love how you said, you know, working out saved my life and then you stepped into enabling other people that do that. So what kind of changes did you see when you were working with other people being a trainer? Did you have people coming in who were dealing with traumas or needing to move in their bodies? Like what was that like seeing?

Juliet (00:08:17):

Yeah, that’s a great question because it sort of depended on the demographic that I worked in throughout the years. And my first job as a trainer, I worked in more rural areas. I was living in upstate New York at the time. And, uh, I worked with a lot of really overweight and unhealthy clients, which I was really happy to do. So because, you know, for me, a lot of it, this passion had to do with my dad and his passing. He died from a heart attack, but he was overweight and had a food addiction for my whole life. And I watched him slowly kill himself through overeating and drinking and not moving and stressing his body out and being stressed out with work. And it was just a whole dislike of a plethora of things that I just watched him deteriorate my whole life. And so that inspired me.

Juliet (00:09:32):

And I wanted to work with people and help them understand how powerful they are and how capable they are of moving and falling in love with movement. And what I saw a lot was underneath these issues, the core of it was a lot of times trauma, but I didn’t know what to do with that. I was way too young and inexperienced when I started to know, and I was still dealing with my trauma at the time and, or not even dealing with my trauma, I hadn’t even gone to therapy for all the things that had happened to me yet, or saw any healers or coaches or helpers. None of that. It was just at that point, I was in survival mode myself, but I did pay attention and I made a lot of correlations between people’s health and what happened to them in their past, but I wasn’t at the point yet to help them with that.

Juliet (00:10:25):

So it was just helping them on the physical level, which it’s like a, I think of it as layers of this stuff and like the outer layer, like the physical body is a huge layer for people to start to work with. And if you can start moving energy, then other things can start to move too. But it wasn’t my job at the time to be the person to help them with that next layer. But I was like, all right, I’m the first layer helper we’re here. So yeah, I saw a lot of that with people that, that transformation, once they could see themselves feeling better and getting healthier, that then allowed them to have more confidence in themselves and take a next step of, okay, now I want to address this aspect of my life and then this aspect of my life. And it’s cool. It’s like a domino effect when you start taking care of your health.

Abby (00:11:19):

Yeah. It’s incredible. And you know, as someone who has not been like predominantly in the body for a long, large portion of my life, or it’s like getting into a rhythm and a flow of working out and having had some structure for a while where I was working out, you know, and pushing past what I, you know, the mind like let’s give up before the body. And then after I workout, I would just go and have a good cry session. I was like, I think I just found some stuff that had been stored in your body.

Juliet (00:11:51):

Yeah. It had, you know, I’ve experienced that. I experienced that on the regular, honestly, like working out for me is such an emotional release. And oftentimes I have a stationary bike in my house and I’ll get on that thing. And like, my husband will come in, I’ll be hunched over the thing, just sobbing. I’m like, I’m having a good run. I’m just having a release right now. Like, especially if there’s a song that plays, that’s just pulling on a heartstring. I’m like, here it comes.

Abby (00:12:21):

Yeah. I know husbands of spiritual women who are doing lots of Keeling. Like I regularly tell my husband, no, I’m not dying. It’s okay. It feels really good. And just come back later if it’s too much. Yeah. So tell me about nutrition. So you went in there and took that into a more holistic place. So did you find that made a difference for yourself and other people you were working with when you brought in that level? Like that component?

Juliet (00:12:53):

So, as I was getting to the start of my training career, I fell in love and it was a tumultuous, abusive relationship. And I was actually in a very confident place before we were together and feeling like I know my purpose, I’m doing this fitness thing. I feel really good. I’m helping other people. And then, you know, not putting any blame on this person, this is just what happened. We went through a horrible relationship and I lost myself in that situation. And my self-esteem. You know, if, if I, if we think of it as a percentage, I was maybe at like 85%, really high self-esteem. And then by the end of our relationship, I was at 10%. And I went into the super night of the soul from that relationship. It was like, like a one, two punch for me or like, okay, everything is coming to the surface now.

Juliet (00:13:58):

And one of the things that came through was I ended up having, uh, an eating disorder during that period when we were together and I had bingeing and restricting problems. So I was bingeing on food, could not stop thinking about food and, and I was over-exercising. And so to burn off everything that I was overeating, and it just felt like this hamster on a wheel cycle that I couldn’t get off of. And I had so much disdain for the way I looked and body dysmorphia and all of this is happening while I’m in this world of helping people to transform their bodies. And, you know, there is a lot of pressure in that industry of looking a certain way and just being that person, who’s the expert who has the body that people are like, well, I trust this person because they look fit, right?

Juliet (00:14:50):

So there, it was just a really hard time. And we ended up moving to New York City during that time. And there’s a lot, there was a whole new pressure of work and, you know, quote-unquote, making it big in the fitness industry. And, I ended up getting a dream job there. And it was like celebrity training, like all, it was just a wild year of my life of being a tortured soul because I was struggling so badly behind closed doors. Nobody knew, you know, how much I was bingeing and restricting and overexercising, and I was exhausted. And then this, you know, this relationship I was in, we were fighting constantly. It was so emotionally abusive and that it ended up being a turning point for me to take care of my emotional health for the first time. So I ended up leaving him and remembered that aunt that had adopted me when I was a teenager. Well, I called her and asked her if she would take me back.

Juliet (00:15:56):

And I became her roommate and rented a room for her, and moved out to New York again. And that was a big start for me, of taking care of myself for the first time and not fighting so hard and being in survival. And that’s when I started going to therapy, starting to take care of my physical health more, and understanding nutrition from a holistic way. And that inspired me. I wanted to heal myself and my body dysmorphia and heal my eating disorder. And that inspired me to go and learn how to fuel myself properly and how to help other people with that. And I ended up going to a holistic nutrition program because there was something about using food as medicine that just stuck with me. And that was such an incredible experience. I met so many people when I went to school that was all about holistic healing and alternative medicine. And it was not just about food. It was spirituality. And I started learning more about myself on a deeper level and my patterns and my habits and where they come, where they come from, and my trauma and linking everything together. It was like a wake-up moment for me.

Abby (00:17:24):

Yeah. Those moments are so powerful. And it’s funny how they show up. Not long after those nights of the soul, sometimes you just have to let it all crash so you can build a backup.

Juliet (00:17:39):

Yeah. I remember just crying every day when I left that relationship. And it was like that just guttural feeling of like, will this ever end this pain that I feel, you know, it’s just deep, deep sorrow, right. Like crying where you’re like, you know, gagging, like you’re, you know, like you’re so like you just, your, your heart is just, just broken into pieces and it’s just, it’s incredible. It’s good. I think it is good to have those moments to know that they do end. It’s not permanent because when you’re in it, you’re like, this is never going to end.

Abby (00:18:21):

Absolutely. It feels all-encompassing and forever. And so you took action. You change things, you change your life quite significantly in that, in those moments. So was there something, or a moment that was a turning point for you when you started changing your life and taking care of yourself and going into this other spiritual journey of holistic nutrition?

Juliet (00:18:48):

It’s hard to say, well, the turning point for leaving that relationship, having the guts to do that was because I was in so much, I was actually in physical pain for the first time. I’ve never, I’d never experienced an emotional pain then turning into actual physical pain where your body hurts. And I was waking up with stomach pains. My body was rejecting my life. And it, that was a moment of like, I, this is, it almost felt life or death for me, you know, in OAS, like I ha I have to do this and I have to do this now. And within moments, I called my job and quit calling the U-Haul company. And like got out of there. It was very traumatic actually

Abby (00:19:34):

I forgot I feel the power, but I’ve got shivers as you’re talking about it. Like the power of a moment like that, it’s a whole new timeline that you created.

Juliet (00:19:44):

Yeah. It was that intuition saying, like, get out now, like you’ve got to get out now. And I did. And you know, the turning point, I think, was just allowing time to heal, you know what I said, being in that moment of turmoil or a lot of moments of turmoil and going to therapy. And it was you, I always have had a mental fortitude that I can’t explain exactly where it comes from, but it feels like a part of me that’s been with me for the whole, for this whole lifetime, or maybe even previous lifetimes, this part of me that like I can rely on. And she’s just very tenacious. And I’ve been able to rely on that part of myself, even throughout these awful moments. And so the turning point was just like relying on her. And one of the interesting things was I was going through old journals recently, which is an amazing way to see how far you’ve come in life.

Juliet (00:20:48):

And it was a journal that I was keeping right after my dad passed away. And there’s a part in there that just says, this is the most pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life. This is, so this hurts so bad, like mourning his loss, but I know that I’m going to be okay. I know I’m going to get through this. And it was just, it was almost like a channeling of something at like 16 to write something like that. It’s like, she always knew, you know, there’s something in this, like something guiding me and I can’t explain it other than I just feel like I can listen to myself in these moments and just keep pushing through. And when I have a feeling that says like, this is what you need to do, like nutrition school and going that route. It was again, another one of these moments of just like, you’ve got to sign up, you’ve got to do this. This is, it happens fast when it’s right. It’s exactly how I ended up in, you know, being in a mentorship with you, Abby. It wasn’t, uh, like I got to think about it. Should I do it often for me, it’s just like, this is it right now. You must sign up immediately.

Abby (00:22:02):

I find things. I react to things in that way too. And I remember that you were the first person that signed up and it was, we got one call, like, all right, let’s do this. But it’s like, you know, you feel the resonance when, you know.

Juliet (00:22:12):

Yeah. I don’t know if every, if it, I think everybody has, you know, their intuition barometer a little bit different, but that’s one that I’ve had enough times now that I’m like, oh, okay, trusting this. Cause this is not, this is like several times now in my life that this has happened.

Abby (00:22:28):

Yeah. Well, thank goodness you’ve got that, you know, especially as he got to navigate tricky stuff. And so, and, you know, just jumping back into what you’re saying before about feeling like this sense of the like meeting, to portray a certain image and feeling so different on the other side of that. And there’s, there’s a couple of pieces about that. There’s one that kind of comes to mind is the concept of a wounded healer where, you know, we’ve got some stuff, but we’re still helping. And I know very few people who’ve reached a level of, alright, I’m there. I’m good. You know, I’ve gotten through all my demons. But I find for a lot of us, it’s a sense of like perfectly imperfect and continues to grow and walk each other home. And I feel like that’s, you know, the need to portray perfection is starting to shift as people talk more about Mountville health issues and struggles.

Abby (00:23:23):

And, the taboo and stigma around receiving help are starting to go away. It’s like if you imagine, you know if you had to, every time you had to go to a doctor visit or to get someone to help you with your body, if there was the same level of taboo, that like would be a lot more people in trouble, but internally it’s just as important. So yeah, it’s, you know, and I appreciate your authenticity and sharing the acts that every time somebody does, it makes it a safer place for the next person too. And so that’s something that I’m working on too because I’ve seen that tendency in myself to want to portray perfection, to inspire and uplift, but you know, no one lives that I know of in a state of chronic constant for production. So just being real, just like being it’s like being able to exhale. Fine.

Juliet (00:24:16):

Yeah. I feel that. And even with clients, I will share some, you know, from my heart, some things that I am going through, you know, in an appropriate way, not oversharing, but I find that it’s really helpful to say, I can completely relate this little incident that happened. It’s like, you, we’re all on this path together of becoming more self-aware and compassionate towards ourselves. And I have many days and moments where I’m still like learning and I’m teaching, I’m teaching myself every day, this stuff

Abby (00:24:58):

A hundred percent. Yeah. We’re all in this human experience and it’s kinda messy and that’s okay. So with that, you went into holistic nutrition, and then you were working with trauma as well. So how did you get into what you’re doing now when you’re working with trauma healing? So you have, like, it’s amazing to have these multiple components because I feel it is so crucial. Like I work with people where we’re working on healing, a lot of stuff, but they have had a lot of digestive issues. A lot of that’s tied to the diet and, you know, the gut mind connection with mental health is so incredibly huge. I feel like we need to kind of address both. So how has that kind of like coming into the circle of what you offer for people now,

Juliet (00:25:50):

It was this natural progression from just working with the body and then realizing, wait, you have to work with the inside of the body through what you’re putting in the body. So then learning about what you put in your body that will make somebody feel super energized and then they even have better performance and they, you know, have better mental health and learning about like the gut mind connection. And then as, uh, I went into a deeper layer after I went to school just to learn about holistic nutrition and kind of what foods work and combinations and all different dietary theories. I then wanted to go even deeper into another layer of it, which is the psychology of eating. Because as I was, I had a private practice, just really doing health coaching and nutrition, which was just helping people really with what they’re eating and how they’re eating.

Juliet (00:26:47):

And I quickly realized that there was a lot of resistance. It’s not as easy to say, okay, here’s what you should be eating to live optimally and feel your best for what’s going on with you. And then to have people come back and have very low compliance. And then it was like, okay, what’s going on here. I was like, I need more tools to understand this connection. And for, I had learned so much myself from having a coach when I was healing my disordered eating and my relationship with my food and body that I wanted to have tools to be able to do that for other people. So that’s where all the trauma stuff comes in. That our relationship with food is a lot of times a metaphor for our relationship with life, how we’re nourishing ourselves, and how we take care of ourselves.

Juliet (00:27:41):

And so it’s like making those connection pieces for people and understanding that, you know, food is powerful in its healing properties, but how you use it. That’s the part where you have to go deeper into what’s programming and your subconscious around how you look at food and how you view your body. What’s the conditioning culturally that we’ve all had. We’ve been really like given so much information and confusing information, you know, as an, as a nutritionist, when we were in school, I remember it was probably like our first week. And they said, you’re choosing a really interesting career path, everyone, because guess what? We’re going to tell you a million dietary theories that are out there and they, and a lot of them diametrically, oppose each other. This is going to be very confusing for you. All right. And there’s scientific evidence backing this research over here to show that this diet is the healthiest and they, you know, support decreasing disease. And then it, and that one’s vegan. And then there’s this one over here, which is me. And it says, this one is the way. And it’s like, wait, what?

Abby (00:29:02):

Yeah. Like having someone like I’ve been needing for a long time, I had been for many years and I was like, this is the way it’s the way. And everyone else is wrong. And then I got candida overgrowth. I was like, I can’t do this diet and, and be okay in my body. So it’s, it’s interesting. It’s like we have beliefs about what food should be, but then the body has its reality of what it is, how it experiences things along with the trauma and everything else.

Juliet (00:29:34):

Well, we’re so nuanced and that’s a challenging thing for people to understand because it would just be so easy for us to know, okay, here’s the plan. And this is exactly what’s going to work for you. And this is going to protect you from, you know, disease and you’re gonna, you’re gonna age gracefully and like all the things that we want for, you know, food and to support us with. But the reality is that each one of us is unique and, you know, I preach bio-individuality when it comes to what people are eating. And that takes a real level of patience and understanding and not rushing this process. And, and I call it playful, experimentation, just being playful with, okay, I’m going to try this and, and not, okay, this is, this has to work. It’s like, no, just try this out, see how this feels and get feedback from your body.

Juliet (00:30:34):

But we live in a real, in a culture that’s all about immediate, like instant gratification. And it’s this way, you know, is challenging. And I’m very upfront with people when I’m like this. I don’t have a one size fits all diet, and I’m constantly even shifting my perceptions of what health is as I’m growing. You know, I’ve been doing the nutrition thing for over 10 years now. And it’s like, for example, even up until recently, I was like, fasting is not great for women. And it was something I, from the research I had, I’d looked at. And, I was not saying to clients that this is a good idea because trends kind of come about, and right now there’s a big trend towards ketogenic and fasting being really, healthy for anti-aging and rebuilding your body. And, but then I like challenging myself on that. Everyone’s nuanced. Maybe it’s not fasting. Isn’t great for certain women depending on their cycle, it’s not just this blanket statement of it’s bad for you. And that’s what we like to, we like to put things in boxes with this stuff,

Abby (00:31:55):

A hundred percent it’s like, then I can control it. And the food is something that I feel like I want to have control over. Otherwise, I feel like I can, it has control over me. And I know that that’s not, it’s a relationship, I love that you mentioned playful exploration and it adds so much more lightness to it. And I love that term that you used biodiversity because it, yeah, it is so different. And even, you know what I need, depending on the season and where I’m at physically and in my life changes too. So if it’s, it is so nuanced and you find, what do you hear? I am trying to make it concrete. Do you find that there’s a certain staff that you move forward with when it comes to a relationship with food, for someone finding what works for them, there are certain ways that aren’t about connecting with their body and just exploring and making note of how they feel after, or what do you think is like the most important aspect when it comes to putting things in your body that are going to be, I love that you mentioned that food is powerful.

Abby (00:33:11):

So how, how do you use that power for you in a world that’s filled with conflicting information?

Juliet (00:33:19):

Yeah. I think that too, it depends on where somebody’s at. And let’s say you are healing your relationship with food because you have been yo-yo dieting your whole life or you’re, or you’re always trying a new plan. Like this is going to be the one that’s going to make me feel the best store it’s going to cure my candies or whatever. I’ve had many friends and clients who are on different journeys. Some are on the journey of always wanting to lose weight. And what’s the best day for me to lose weight? I have, and others are on the journey of what’s the best diet to be the healthiest. And both of those can be controlled in your life and take over your life and your thoughts and your, and talk about taking up brain space. That was actually for me, why I wanted to heal my relationship with food.

Juliet (00:34:09):

I’m like if I spent as much time thinking about what I’m going to eat and what I’m going to eat, if I spent this much time on something else like I could help save the world, you know, climate change or something. I’m like, why am I, instead of thinking about the size of my butt and you know, what I’m going to have for dinner. But I think that you know, when somebody is, has been so controlled like that for so long, you can’t just be like, all right, you’re going to be an intuitive eater. Now go ahead, eat, eat intuitively zero

Abby (00:34:44):

To 60 Jones. Like, all right. Just be completely different from

Juliet (00:34:47):

Everything you’ve known. Yeah. Which some people, you know, some, uh, practitioners preach that to just like, let go completely. And it’s going to be messy for a little while, and then you’ll find your way. And that has worked for some people. Some people have very transformative experiences, but talk about a real letting go. I think for me, it’s about meeting somebody where they’re at and, you know, I think having some structure is important. I’m really big on education. So educating people about food and the power of food and getting people excited about the power of nutrition. And when we think about food, it’s not that complicated. There are not that many foods out there actually that are coming from nature that is just that what we’re supposed to be eating, you know, and the way that, you know, another animal might be eating, you know, the grass and that’s then the leaves and that’s there for them understanding what are we supposed to be eating? Like what, what foods exist out there for us. And then you realize it’s not that many. And so now I have at least some structure to understand, right? These are nature’s foods. These are whole on, in their unprocessed form. What kind of structure do I want next in order? How do I want to put them in my life?

Abby (00:36:11):

I love that. And I love that you mentioned the comparison of like the animal eating grass and it comes so naturally to animals. They know they’re just so in tune with their body and with the world, their environment, as it’s intended to be, you know, not always, you know, in a natural environment for them either, but it kind of makes me think that this is ultimately a really simple thing. And remembering how to be a part of that simple thing. Like you had mentioned briefly that all the social societal programming that we get growing up around that. And I know like so many commercials and someone I mentioned once you don’t see a commercial for apples, you don’t see a commercial for, you know, for simple whole ingredients. It’s always these like super, pre-pack like a super package with these all kinds of special cartoon labels to make it more enticing and extra sugar refined to make it more addictive and all of this messaging for, you know, how you need to look like a woman and how this will be the one thing that will make you feel good or eating more of this as a man will make you more of a man is really, it’s interesting.

Abby (00:37:23):

It’s like, that’s so much simpler than society has made it out to be. It seems like,

Juliet (00:37:28):

Yeah, well, it’s big, it’s a big industry. It makes a lot of money. You’re right. And there’s, and we’re just being enticed all the time. But it’s funny you say that because there were commercials lately of pistachios and I was like, what, what is wrong with these pistachios? Like, why are these suspicious? I was like, I do not trust these commercials. I’m like, what are they doing with these mistakes? It’s just so random. I’m like, what’s, what’s next? You know, bro, is there going to be broccoli dancing, broccoli on my TV? But, yeah, going back to like, how to do what’s the approach people take just, I think learning knowledge is power and learning about food and like what foods are out there. And their health properties are exciting, you know, and having some sort of structure of what humans eat, but it can get tricky in, in the holistic and the spiritual world.

Juliet (00:38:35):

People like when you go a step further, and for those who do eat all healthy whole foods from nature, it can get pretty wild out there. You know, from a fruitarian someone who’s only eating fruits to, uh, you know, the carnivore diet, someone’s only eating meat to like all of these things. And everybody is so sure like this is the way this is going to be the way that you live the longest and you are the healthiest and here’s what’s happening on a cellular level. And it’s like, that gets so confusing for so many people and stressful. And I am a big believer in the power of your belief, in what it’s doing to your body because the mind and body connection is huge with this. And if you believe that you’re eating the right thing, and you’re not stressed out about it, then go ahead.

Juliet (00:39:38):

You may have wonderful results, but if you are stressing yourself out with what you’re eating, even if it’s a healthy diet, then you’re not going to be digesting as well. So that’s the psychology part of it. That was game-changing for me when I started working with people and for myself, it was just being more mindful about how you’re feeling about what you’re eating. If you’re in total stress and you dislike the way you’re eating, but it’s the way because you have what, from what you’ve read, I would say reevaluate that because there are many ways there isn’t just one way.

Abby (00:40:18):

Yeah. And it’s so nice to just hear that there are many ways there isn’t just one way, cause I’ve definitely been in that vise or the grip of like a rigid belief around food and it was damaging my body. And it took for me anyway, a lot, a lot, a lot of healing around deprogramming that all of the guilt and shame around, you know, for me anyway, it was eating meat and facing like for me, all of this past life stuff around that too, having been a hunter and it’s a whole other story, but it involved letting go of the programming also involves letting go of a lot of trauma. And do you find that when you’re working with clients that in that experience of opening up to listening to their body, does that go hand in hand with healing trauma, or what has that been like with you navigating your clients and yourself?

Juliet (00:41:20):

Most of what I do with people is navigate their trauma around their bodies and food. And if that’s the particular reason why they’re coming to see me, and it’s a lot of unlearning from childhood, how they relate to food, how they relate to their body. It’s a lot of ancestral healing around what I’m supposed to look like when I’m supposed, how I’m supposed to be as an eater and making those connections is powerful for people, you know, for myself, I really, it was a big deal for me to heal my trauma around my father and his overeating and you know, my binge eating and what I had witnessed and learned from just observing him and through osmosis, just taking on some of that. And my relationship with food was always a relationship of scarcity, which a lot of people have like there’s never going to be enough.

Juliet (00:42:25):

And so it’s eating everything on your plate and feeling and thinking about when you’re going to be eating next. And that feeling of when, like this, might be my only opportunity. So I’m, you know, gonna do it, I’m gonna do it up and then feeling the guilt and the shame that comes after that. And then perhaps some restriction even to punish yourself, a lot of punishment comes with that. Like I’m bad and punish myself. Now I need to go work out or I need to start my diet on Monday and then go through this whole cycle of deprivation, which isn’t our natural state to be Def deprived, you know, from a real primal perspective, we’re not meant to be deprived of food. So it goes against biology in a sense to be on these diets, which is why they aren’t part of why they don’t work. And understanding that’s important too. It’s like, there’s biology with this or psychology with this. And there’s trauma. It’s a lot of different layers of this.

Abby (00:43:26):

I  appreciate that. You can see and work with each layer and, you know, I’m, you mentioned that a lot of it’s ancestral and that feeling of there’s not going to be enough. And I’ve had that too for my, you know, I don’t think my mom ever told me I had to eat everything, but like I just had this thing of like, I can never waste food and think about like going back and ancestry lines, like how many of us through our lineage has been through famine, have been through war times have been through, uh, you know, a drought where the crops didn’t grow and, and just going back far enough to be a human. It was a much more delicate thing to have all the resources that you needed to have enough to survive. And the trauma that gets passed down from that still lingers. And it’s just interesting, even in this world where we have so much, it’s really about the inner world of what pieces of this have not healed yet.

Juliet (00:44:28):

There’s a lot of self-inquiry that happens when you’re healing your relationship to anything in particular, though, relationship to your body and food. And I do it every day with myself. And when I go to eat something or if I’m craving something, it’s a lot of questions. Like one of my favorite questions that I use a lot is what are you hungry for? Because it might not be hunger. A lot of times, for me, it’s, I’m tired. I’m hungry for rest. I’m hungry for connection. Maybe I’m feeling lonely. I’m hungry for a hug. I need physical touch, right? And that tuning in is powerful. And I think many of us are disconnected from our needs in that way. And so food becomes a way to nest to size ourselves and just numb out and distract ourselves. And it’s this moment of fleeting pleasure and, you know, food is wonderful.

Juliet (00:45:38):

And I never want anyone to not have it be pleasurable. I think food should be one of the most pleasurable things that we experience in our life, but at the same time, it’s having more reverence for what our actual needs are. Versus if we’re having a desire and a craving, a lot of times the food isn’t going to support that it’s this immediate, it’s an immediate fix, quick fix, but it’s going to leave you with the same feeling after. So it’s addressing the root of what is at the root of what you need, but the food is, I always say food is a doorway for people of healing. If you’re having an issue with overeating or body dysmorphia or anything like that, it’s really, it’s a healing opportunity for a lot of people. It’s just your gateway into whatever your healing journey is going to be. And that was what it was for me. It was like I’m. So I’m grateful for going through that experience of having an eating disorder, because it propelled me into actually looking at the deeper layers of trauma and why I was, why that was a side of, it was just a side effect. It’s not a problem. It’s just a side effect,

Abby (00:46:52):

A hundred percent. And I can fully relate to that feeling of numbing out. Like I spent years just spending most of my day snacking and in a brain fog. And it was just a way to avoid all of these traumas and fears I had around self-worth around doing this work that I felt called to do, and just letting that take over my biology. And it was, I had asked myself that question too, like, what did I want? And it was a connection. And I thought that food was a way to have that. But then the more I ate that just felt more bloated and brain foggy and grosser. And that wasn’t it, you know, the movement helped to be present with the emotions that were coming up. And I love how you mentioned it’s a gateway hundred percent. Like I’ve found that so much gateway into the body, a gateway into the pain gateway, into moving through the pings.

Abby (00:47:48):

I realized like any addiction, every time that I escaped that opportunity when that feeling was coming up, that I didn’t want to feel every time I numbed that out. I just closed that door to healing a part of myself for a little bit longer, and that didn’t get me anywhere. I just got my two still craving connection, but also feeling way worse than my body. And it wasn’t until I said, I’m going to stop doing this. I’m going to feel whatever I need to feel. And I mean, that has been intense because there are lots of feelings over the years that have been, you know, been numbed out with food, but so rewarding and necessary. And so when it comes to the trauma piece, when it comes to that part, do you feel like, how do you know when you’re ready to go there to look at that?

Juliet (00:48:40):

That’s a great question. I think that it will come up without you planning for it to come up. So I don’t think it’s like, I’m ready now. I just think that it will come up from what I’ve seen over the years of working with clients. I don’t push anybody to go to do trauma work. It’s when you’re ready, it will come through when it’s meant to be seen and looked at. And I think you and I talked offline about this with, especially with hypnosis people, often afraid that they’re going to have a repressed memory. And they’re like, I don’t want to see whatever could be repressed. What if it’s really scary? And I just gently encourage that, you know, you are in control of this. And so whatever is meant to come up will come up because you are in a safe enough place in your life and you’re, you are ready.

Juliet (00:49:47):

And I don’t think there is like no weighing. I think it just kind of unfolds before somebody’s eyes. And a lot of it’s about feeling safe enough to go there. You know, for my own story, I couldn’t do meditation hypnosis any of that deeper layer work for years because I would have a panic attack. My body would tell me, Nope, you can’t go there yet. We’re not ready. And it would just completely clam up on me and I would go, okay, we, you know, it’s not, we’re not ready. We haven’t, we don’t have enough safety in our life, enough stability meeting. My husband helped me. He was a big part of my healing journey meeting a man that was just so kind and gentle. And, you know, I call him my angel. He just has a golden light that emanates from him.

Juliet (00:50:48):

He’s just like this old, beautiful soul that just is this grounding, you know, and it’s no accident that his last name is root. I wanted it needed to route, you know, it was not rooted. And there’s just so much of that that supported my healing being with somebody with whom I could trust and feel safe. And there was no, there wasn’t chaos for a long time. So I needed to have years of not having a lot of chaos and feeling safe and held and supported and, and, uh, just being in that calm or state for a while. And then, you know, another thing that did help me as I went on anti-anxiety medication for a few years, and that medication, you know, supported me in that time. And I had, man, I was so resistant to doing something like that, just being in the holistic world and being so natural and not taking anything, you know, and feeling very self-righteous about that in a way kind of, you know, the way you’re explaining being vegan.

Juliet (00:51:58):

Like I like no way, you know, and having family members who had been on that and watching their journey with it and having a lot of judgment around it and judging myself so much, but it was at a point where it was, again, one of those situations where you do this, or you, or you’re going to suffer. You’ve got to take this chance right now and you owe it to yourself to at least try this. Because at that point I was having panic attacks in my sleep. A lot of things were happening where trauma was like coming up. And I was like, I don’t want to have my day right now. And that’s supported me because it was like a, again, another, like a protective safety layer of, okay, now I can close my eyes and meditate without having the neuro epinephrine, the actual chemicals in my body surging.

Juliet (00:52:51):

And so it was able to do a little bit of deeper work. And I had worked with an imagery therapist, which is powerful. It’s a lot of the work that you do. And that I do now with clients, which is going into the subconscious and, you know, I met many guides and it’s him. He was a beautiful Buddhist man that wasn’t even coming from a place of, of, of meeting your, your, you know, metaphysical guides. He was just really what’s in the subconscious. And I met so many different guides that supported me and I see how magical and spiritual it was now in hindsight we were doing, but he was an art therapist and it was a beautiful experience. But, you know, in terms of when you’re ready, I can, I’ll use just my own story. That it’s just over time, I felt safer and safer. And then it was like, okay, I’m ready for this next layer. I’m ready for this next layer or ready for this next layer. And I’m still healing even deeper now, you know, doing the work that I do with you. Like, I feel like even stuff that was lodged in there from maybe like a past life. Like it’s like, okay, now that’s ready to come out and not just this life.

Abby (00:54:04):

Yeah. A hundred percent. And it’s no. When you mentioned the feeling of safety, I heard once something along the lines of being a healer is really about creating a space where someone can be, feel safe, enough to see and heal parts of themselves. And I feel like the layers are also going into a deeper, deeper feeling of all right, I’m safe to look at this. Now I can, I’m safe. And you know, I’m strong enough, I’m safe enough. I feel like the two of them two can come together, but yeah, it is an incredible thing. And so someone’s going through that and what you said too about medication, I’ve been through that phase of judgments. And, you know, it’s funny how the mind loves to judge. But I met so many people where I didn’t save their lives and it did give them the space to begin healing,  to have some space, to move through. And as someone who holds that space for other people now, what are your thoughts on doing the inner work by yourself versus somebody having a guide to help you move through that?

Juliet (00:55:27):

I think you can do both. I think that depends on the person and what they feel is working for them. I have seen people who take on healing work, like it’s their job and they don’t, they’re not working with anyone, but they are immersing themselves in books, in resources and they’re, you know, doing workshops and all the things without actually having a specific person like guiding them on a journey, a healing journey. So I don’t think that there’s one way, it just depends on what works better for you. And for me I always love having a guide or a teacher in my life, a mentor, somebody that I can just go back and forth with and share and feel like somebody is holding space for me, that they are going through this with me in some way. And that’s my personal preference is that I’ll probably always be somebody that wants to have a teacher and someone that I can learn from.

Juliet (00:56:32):

And, and to have somebody hold me accountable and not in the way of like, you have to do this, or, you know, you didn’t do it right. Or a good job, but the accountability of knowing that you have that person, that you’re going to almost be a little, like a little bit forced to face yourself on the regular, because it’s really easy to get too shy, to get shy and run away from some of this stuff. You feel a big feeling. If, you know, you feel like, I betrayed myself again. I didn’t, you know, I, I went back into that old pattern or habit and that’s so normal. And, part of this journey is like sometimes retreating into old, into the old patterns that make you feel safe and cozy and familiar with yourself. And so having somebody that can hold space for you and can see you bigger than that, and keep working with you towards going where you want to go, I think could be helpful. It’s easy to kind of just start the journey and then like to shy away from the journey. But if you have someone doing it with you, you have more of a chance of sticking to it and having it be consistent. So that’s my personal preference is finding someone that you can work with when it comes to this stuff.

Abby (00:57:54):

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And I found that to be so huge too. I’m all about it, you can get me there a lot faster and a lot more easily than me banging my head against the wall again. And again, let’s do this. And so if someone is looking for a way for you to guide them, looking for you to hold that space for them, that space where they can feel safe and supported and you know, really mind body spirit, cause you’re kind of you to address all of them. Tell me about how they can find you. And, you have a program coming up soon too. So tell me about that.

Juliet (00:58:36):

Well, so I do one-on-one coaching with people and I will take them through a 12-week program. I find it an amazing amount of time to see a huge shift in transformation. And we go through those different layers starting with the body. You know, what are, what’s your relationship with food? If that’s something that you know, well, I think everybody should look at that no matter where you are just, you know, what, what’s going on in your body and does it make you feel good? And is it the right thing to help you have that? You know, minding that gut connection is so important. And then going through the mind, really working on mindset and programming and looking at all of that, and then the spiritual, just getting in touch with, you know, your higher self, your intuition, like, so it’s this beautiful journey that unfolds over 12 weeks of going through those different layers with people.

Juliet (00:59:33):

And it’s just extremely transformative. And then I also, you know, 12 weeks is a big chunk of time. So people will sometimes just do just one-off sessions, healing sessions, or, you know, every other week it is catered to the person. And the, uh, the program that I’m doing is the first group that I’m running, which is sort of condensing all of what I’ve been doing. One-on-one with people into an eight-week program, which is where we talk about all of these things that you and I have discussed in this podcast, the layers of trauma mindset, going into the subconscious shifting programming it’s, but it’s really fun to do it with a group because I can kind of like play off of each other. And I’m in the mentorship with you right now and having other people who share what they’re feeling and what they’re yearning for and what’s bothering them.

Juliet (01:00:28):

And then I was being coached at the moment and watching other people get that is so special. And even, you know, even before I was in the mentorship with you, I did a couple of coaching containers as the participant. And I was like, oh my gosh, I want to do one of these because they’re just so fun. Even though we’re talking about really intense, sometimes heavy things there, you know, it’s like the highlight of my week was like, I can’t wait to like, meet with my group, you know, and be with other people who want to enhance their life and want and are on a healing journey. So yeah, the eight-week group is called a master of your inner world. It’s all about going in there and asking yourself those deep questions and challenging yourself to look at what’s going on in your inner world. That’s affecting my outer world. And the, my perception of my reality, because your perception of your reality is all based on how you see yourself and how you see the world. And so if we can go in there a little bit and ask some deep questions and have a better relationship with that inner part of ourselves, then you really can have such a major transformation. Like so many things change so quickly when you do that.

Abby (01:01:39):

Hmm. It’s amazing how quickly things change from the inside out. So where can people find you?

Juliet (01:01:46):

Yeah, so I may join your program. So I’m on Instagram at Juliet_root, like the tree. And, also my website is rootedpower.com. So all the information about the group and my coaching services there, the group starts soon. So if anybody is interested in joining a program like that, it starts on Wednesday, October 13th, and all the info you can find again on Instagram or my website.

Abby (01:02:15):

I love it. Thank you so much for sharing all this and for doing what you, and I’m so excited for you and everyone who gets to receive this container of support, the space that you hold, and this guidance that you offer. And yeah, it is so fun. I know that in our mentor class that I run with you, it’s like we’re healing these really big deep things, but then at the end of the day afterward, it’s just like, that was just delightful. It’s just so fulfilling. And it’s an interesting dynamic to see how it unfolds with everyone in the group. So,

Juliet (01:02:52):

Well, it’s great that you say that because if you can make this, these kinds of deep topics, you know, trauma if you can make them lighter and more, let’s say fun, but just, they don’t have to be so heavy and scary. If we can normalize this stuff in a way where it’s not scary, it’s a part of who we are that as energetic beings, our bodies store things. And if we don’t look at those things at the moment, then sometimes we have to look at them later and that’s okay. And there’s nothing wrong with that. And just understand that that’s a part of being a human and how we have to take care of ourselves is looking at that. So thank you for doing the work that you do, because it’s been so transformative for my own life and helping me go deeper and helping me access myself even more as a healer and supporting other people. And I’m just so appreciative that I got to, that I’m getting to work with you. I’m really happy about it.

Abby (01:03:54):

Thank you. I appreciate that a lot. That’s what you mentioned earlier. Playful curiosity. Yeah. It can be a lot of fun growing and healing. So happy to be on this journey with you. And thank you so much for being here, sharing your wisdom, sharing your story, and doing this work for people. Thank you so much for listening to this episode with Juliet. It is such a pleasure to get to share in her abundant energy and knowledge and openness and readiness to move forward. And I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did. And we talked briefly about the mentorship that I run, that Juliet is a part of, and this is a six-month program that I run a limited number of times per year. And we have very intimate class sizes. And we connect in this way that enables you to heal anything.

Abby (01:04:53):

That’s been weighing you down, connecting with your passion, with your purpose, and sharing your medicine with the world. And you get a whole bunch of tools and how to do that. So if you’re feeling called to show up in a bigger way, if you’re feeling called for something more, but you’re not quite sure what it is, or if you know that you want to work in the world of healing, then go on over to mindbodyfree.com/mentorship and you’ll be the first to know when the next mentor class becomes available. All right. Thank you for listening and wishing you all so much light, so much love, and peace.

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Belonging as a Healer

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Belonging As a Healer

Sometimes, as healers or highly sensitive people, it feels like you’re different from everybody else; like you’re a circle in a world filled with triangles. We search and search for that one place that feels like home. A place where it’s ok to be 100% ourselves. But there’s a crucial shift in the way we see things that need to happen so we can truly find that place. ⁠

Connect with Abigail:
Instagram @yourmindbodyfree
Schedule a free discovery call here
Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.

 


 

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Do you love the show? If so, I’d love it if you left me a review on iTunes. This helps others find the show and get integrative healing support. Simply click here and select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”. Thank you so much ❤︎

 


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby(00:03):

Hello, and welcome to the mindbodyfree podcast. I am your host, Abigail Moss. I am a healer, a mentor, Shaman, and a guide. I work with men and women all around the world. And I work in intimate groups where we learn how to heal, connect with our passion and purpose, and share our gifts with the world. I stand for the healing and awakening of life on earth. And my role in that is to reawaken the healer and activate a deeper connection with life. I want to dedicate this podcast to all of the sensitive people out there to everyone who feels a calling to do more, to show up in a bigger way, who knows that there’s something just slightly outside your grasp and your awareness right now knows that it is real. You are not crazy. It does exist and you will find it. And this is what I help people do regularly.

Abby (01:07):

This is what I did myself, and this is my job. And moving in now to something that I see a lot of people who are on this path, something a lot of us feel or how felt at some point is a struggle with belonging. It can be a feeling like you just are different, and it’s hard to make sense of a world that doesn’t make sense. And it’s hard to find your place in that sometimes. And you know, as I want to just call us healers, but it’s the people who are, who are sensitive, you know, call them Wayfinders in the Polynesian culture. It’s the people who are the guides who go deep beyond what we agree upon. As our collective reality, they go deeper and they go within themselves. They go within the universe and they gather deep ancient wisdom. They gather new insight, a new perspective, a new way of being, and they bring that back to the tribe.

Abby (02:09):

They bring that back to the people, and then they share that in their way, through the expression of their unique gifts, to support and elevate consciousness, as we know it. So it’s a big job, but it’s a good job. It’s deeply rewarding and deeply fulfilling. And it looks different for everybody, but some similarities for people who are these healers, these Wayfinders, these guides are often very creative, often very sensitive. So there’s something in psychology called highly sensitive people or, um, HSP. And it’s about 20% of the population where our nervous system actually takes on more information. It is more able to sense subtle things around us, subtle energies, emotions, happenings around that many people don’t pick up. And so this can be a burden and this can also be a blessing. And with this, there’s a, can be a feeling of overwhelm. Like a lot is going on because you’re feeling everyone else’s stuff along with yours, as well as the kind of collective energy on the planet and the planet itself.

Abby (03:17):

And, oh my goodness, it’s a lot, but there are ways to release that, to heal with it, to work with it. And through it. And these people who are the healers, the guides, the Wayfinders, they were kind of just wired differently. We have a tendency to look at the world and question it. We have a tendency to see things, to see the flaws and the systems, to not accept the status quo, to either get about it, um, or discourage the disillusions you, and this is kind of part of the earlier stages. When you’re going through that. Awakening can be a lot of anger. The Camille, a lot of depression, there can be a lot of grief because you see all of these things in the world, all of these systems that are dysfunctional, that are destructive and a part of you knows, there can be a better way, and it doesn’t feel like you fit into all of that stuff.

Abby (04:08):

And you’re not meant to, you’re meant to change it. You’re meant to be part of that change that comes here and brings a new reality and supports, facilitates a new reality coming into the world and how you do that is through the unique expression of your gifts and getting support in that journey is so, so crucial. It’s so important. I spent seven years traveling the world, working with incredible healers and teachers and guides and shamans. And it was the support that I needed to find my way back to myself, to find my healing and peace within myself, to learn how to heal myself and help others. And with that, I’ve created kind of a framework, kind of a journey that I guide people through, which involves first letting go of all of those, all those things that have happened. Because if you’re like most healers, you’ve probably been through some.

Abby (05:10):

Some stuff happened. That’s been hard and that stuff still lives in your nervous system, still lives in your body and your memory and your psyche and your emotions. And I kind of look at that stuff as like a Boulder, like there’s a big, heavy rock that we’re carrying around and we’ve got our arms wrapped around it. We’re trying to go out and do our things like, all right, let’s go see what my purpose is, or let’s go make a change in the world, but we’re carrying this big, heavy Boulder. And it’s hard to get anything done when you put your arms wrapped around those things. And you’re just trying to keep it up. So the first thing that I guide people on how to do is to put that Boulder down is to let that go because that’s liberation. And from that place, you can do anything with that.

Abby (05:53):

Step one, put that down, put that polar down, let those go. And you can, you know, I don’t believe that anything is a life sentence. And I don’t care if, if I shouldn’t say I don’t care, but I don’t personally, it’s not my belief system that you have to live with any condition for the rest of your life. So even if a professional has told you that this is how it has to be forever, there’s always another way you can heal anything. Your mind is dynamic. It is elastic. The cells within your brain can regrow just like stem cells, which is amazing. Neuroscientists are blown away by it. Um, epigenetics, you can change what’s going on in your DNA. How we respond to the traumas we’ve been through is what turns on and off triggers that cause schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, there’s something called PTSD.

Abby (06:55):

There’s also PTG post-traumatic growth. And that PTSD can change the PTG at any moment, depending on how you work with what happened. And so I teach people how to work with what happened and how to let that go so they can grow through it. They can rise like a Phoenix coming out of the ashes teaches you. It helps you become more strong, more resilient. And ultimately when you go into that place that has been heavy and you bring light to it and you understand the meaning behind it. And you let go of the weight. That’s a path back home to yourself with an entry point back into you as all those things that hurt are the things that have been stuck with any of them that are not in alignment with your true nature. So if there’s any belief that says, you’re crazy, if that doesn’t feel good in your body, that means it’s not your truth.

Abby (07:52):

It says you’re not worthy or not good enough. That does not feel good in your body. If that doesn’t feel expansive if that feels restrictive, that your body is trying to reject that thought. So your body’s saying that is not true. Get that out of you. So I teach people how to get that out and come into what is true. What is expensive? What is freeing? Because you are not your thoughts. My dear, none of us, our thoughts are energy. They’re separate from you. You are the observer, you are the witness of those thoughts and you have that freedom. You have the right to choose your thoughts. So let go of what is not in alignment with you and your highest good and expansion and bring in what is my dear. So as we do this, we shift into growth. We shift into expansion.

Abby (08:40):

We shift into a profound, beautiful, deeper connection with ourselves. And that is where you ultimately belong. It’s within yourself. It’s when your heart, it’s in your spirit, it’s in your truth and highest alignment with your whole self and is within your place within you within nature within the universe with energy and consciousness because you have a place within all of that. And right now we’re being called to claim our place, to remember who we are, where we came from, what we came here to do. And all of those answers are inside of you. And my job is to help you find them. So I’m a facilitator guiding you back home to yourself. You already know what to do. It’s just remembering that part of you that is remembering that ancient wisdom that wants to be expressed through you. So you can activate into who you are meant to be in this life, in this world.

Abby (09:39):

At this time, it’s really fun stuff. And something that I do in my mentorship is guide people through just this. We learn a map back to ourselves and how to let go of that. Boulder, how to let go of that pain, how to release those untrue thoughts around your body, your truth, your divinity, your power, your wisdom, and your gifts. We get a lot of clarity in your future self and bring that into today. So we often work backward into how we are, what am I supposed to do? What is this going to look like? I don’t know how you could know it hasn’t happened yet. We learn how to work differently with time, how to move forward and backward with our consciousness, which is not limited by time and space, unlike physical matter. So we learn how to go forward into that life.

Abby (10:28):

That deeply fulfilling, purposeful and joyful life and see it and taste it and smell it so you can know what you want. You can know where you’re going. You can get clear on the destination. And then we draw that back. And then we draw back the steps to getting there. And we bring it in with profound clarity. And this allows you to elevate the level up to that place so much faster because now you know where you’re going and you know how to get there. And then we work together to clear the path to get there, because as you’re on this path, this deeply fulfilling, important, powerful path of being in your power and divinity and sharing your gifts with the world that are so needed, by the way, stuff’s going to come up. And that stuff can look like fear of being seen, not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough, why bother?

Abby (11:20):

It’s going to fail all that stuff. And this is just natural. You know this is a natural part of being on that path because it’s just your soul being kind enough to show you all the stuff that’s been getting in the way of moving forward and showing you all the things that need to be cleared. So you can move forward on the path that’s made for you. And so together we do that. We clarify that we let that go. We released it because I wasted years. My dear, I always said years, getting stuck up and caught up in those beliefs and those fears and I didn’t need to, and you don’t need to either. So together, we rapidly move through that gunk, that mud that’s just there to push and challenge you and see how much you want it to push you to take a stand for yourself.

Abby (12:06):

And together we lift each other through frequency, through love, through connection and support, and a safe space to let that stuff go to rise above it and move forward and be who you truly are, which is pretty fun because I believe that that’s kind of our destiny. That’s that. Our birthright is to be in the full expression of our authentic selves to tap into our limitless potential and share our gifts with the world and contribute to this global collective time of transition of awakening, of the challenge of all the things happening at once. Culminating coming to a head now is the time to step into your power, to do what you came here to do, to remember who you truly are to embody your authentic self, and have a lot of fun doing it. And the Dalai Lamas of the purpose of life is to be happy.

Abby (13:07):

I’m not going to argue that when we are filled up when you are filled up and full of joy and living the life you are meant to be living that just lights your heart up, you spread so much love into the world. You share your gifts. Naturally, everything seems easier. That’s a beautiful thing to contribute to this planet. Beautiful thing. So, my dear, this is what I do. And this is how I support people. I do this through mentorship. I have a six-month mentorship that I work with people every week we connect over zoom. We have an intimate class. So everyone has a chance to share, to be coached. And it creates a safe space. This is our container of support that you get to transform in that you get to let go and gourd and is supported by your peers.

Abby (13:58):

And together, we learn exercises that you practice with each other. We do guide journeys of going inward into yourself, into your healing, your magic, remembering who you are and where you came from, transforming your relationship with life and death, transforming your relationship with your soul, transforming your relationship with the past, with the future, with the many lifetimes in between and connecting with your higher self, your higher wisdom, your higher guidance to navigate this world in a way that feels deeply fulfilling, deeply impactful and joyful. So if that’s something that calls to you, then I encourage you to reach out, to book a free discovery call and we can chat and see if it’s the right fit for you. Because I see your heart. I feel that I know what it feels like to feel like there’s so much going on and you don’t understand everything that’s happening.

Abby (14:56):

And you’re wondering half the time if you’re crazy, but you experienced these things that don’t line up with what society says is our reality, but it feels so real. And that’s because it is because there is more out there than what meets the eye. There is more than what we’ve seen in the media and what we’ve been taught and what we’ve collectively agreed to be the reality, because the stuff is ancient wisdom, reemerging resurfacing, you know, before colonialism, before the days of the witch trials, before all that stuff, cultures all around the world were nature-based was shamanic. They worked with plants and herbs and energy and rhythm and music and dance and consciousness. And the shamanic kind of way of being lived differently through all these different cultures, including European cultures. So it was part of all of our roots at some point, and the ones who were the healers and those cultures are the sensitive ones who are the Wayfinders.

Abby (16:05):

They could feel into the subtle and feel more into what’s happening. Then what meets the eye. And if you feel there’s more out there calling you, then it’s time to answer that call you’re being called for a reason, you’re being called into your purpose into a deeper expression of yourself, answering that, calling it the incredibly beautiful transformative path, and you don’t have to do it alone. You can do with the support of your tribe. You can do it with guidance so that you can get back to that place within yourself, within that knowing and getting to share what you’ve come here to do within months, instead of years, as it took me. It doesn’t need to take you that long. All right. So I love you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being you and for your beautiful hearts. You have a voice. You matter, you are significant.

Abby (16:57):

You are not crazy. You are becoming saner. My dear, if you have any questions, reach out to me. Book a discovery call or check out more information at mindbodyfree.com. And if you enjoyed this episode, please like, share, and subscribe. And if you leave a review, that’s super helpful in getting the message out there. And if there’s anyone in your life, who’s a sensitive person who is a healer at heart. Then I encourage you to share it with them too. If you want to connect up with me, you can also reach me on Instagram @yourmindbodyfree and Facebook @yourmindbodyfree. All right, until next time, my dear. 

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Barbara Van Kooten: Problem Solving Happiness Coach

02 barbara

Barbara Van Kooten, Problem Solving Happiness Coach

I talk with Barbara van Kooten about what it’s like growing up with gifts that most don’t understand, and how she now brings these gifts into her coaching practice to help her clients find happiness.

Connect with Barbara:
Instagram @vankootenbarbara

 


 

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Schedule a free discovery call here

Learn more about my 6-month Mentorship Program here.

 


 

Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00:00):

Hello, and welcome to the mindbodyfree podcast, where we unpack what it means to heal and be alive on this wild ride on earth. I’m your host, Abigail Moss. And today I‘m talking with a very special guest, a friend of mine who lives in Bali, Indonesia, and she has an interesting story of being born with gifts and navigating them through life, and being perceived as different than your average person who may or may not is tuned in with those gifts within themselves. And as healers, we often do feel a sense of not belonging. And while that is, it can be very painful as you heal that you can start to realize the power of that, of being different, of being able to be a change-maker in this world and bring light to dark places. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening and without further ado, please enjoy.

Abby (00:01:03):

Thank you so much for coming in and talking with me today. I’m so excited to introduce you. It is such a pleasure to get to introduce you. I met Barbara last year in Bali when I went to get my first tattoo and she was this beautiful, charming woman that walked in and just lit up the room and was so openhearted and so warm-hearted. And she had all of this knowledge around, around helping my tattoo to heal faster around plants and wellness. And you are just a wellspring of knowledge and warmth. And I just find you incredibly fascinating, and it is such a huge privilege to get to talk with you today. So I’m speaking, my guest is Barbara von Kooten and she is a problem-solving happiness coach and, she is she’s many, many things and, yeah. Thank you for being here.

Barbara (00:02:10):

Ah, I’m so happy to be here. I’m feeling very blessed by that. Thank you very much.

Abby (00:02:16):

Thank you. It is a blessing for me too. And so you are living in Bali now, but where are you from?

Barbara (00:02:28):

I’m born in Belgium. I’m a bit of an international person because yes. When I’m here, I’m a bit of a stranger to everybody because I have a bit of mixed skin. They call me a peanut because my skin is not black, not white, but also not brown because I’m from mixed parents. My father is Indonesian, Chinese Dutch. And my mother is Dutch and from Holland. So yes. I’m mixed and yeah, so I’m a bit stranger everywhere even in the country I’m born in. But yes, I live, yeah, I’m born in Belgium, lived in France and then in Indonesia the last 10 years,

Abby (00:03:12):

I am sure that brings with it. It’s unique. Pluses, pros, and cons. You said not, you know, being home wherever you are, but that could also be a benefit in some ways. Yes, yes,

Barbara (00:03:28):

Yes. Sometimes it’s weird, you know like when I was born in Belgium and when people ask me, what’s your nationality? And I say, yes, Dutch, and then say, I thought Moroccan Spanish, Italian. Yeah. Don’t give it up.

Abby (00:03:52):

People. And it’s interesting. It’s not going to defend by the sea of the day. We try to put people, try to make it easy to label the mind, want to put people to categorize, to separate and make sense of things when something or someone is just their being. It’s like, this is disconcerting.

Abby (00:04:09):

The mind doesn’t know what to make.

Abby (00:04:14):

So tell me more about what it means to be a problem-solving happiness coach. How did you get into this?

Barbara (00:04:21):

I guess I’m born into it since I was a child. People already ask me for advice for as long as I can remember. And when I was a little child, I thought that was quite normal. I also had an opinion about everything. I was ahead of things, you know like I’m born in the sixties and I already questioned people why they took so many medications when I was still in, you know, like seven, eight years old. What, why do you give your child a bottle while you have breast milk? My mother is very embarrassing for my mother, but I questioned people and I don’t know their opinion about everything. And people ask me for advice. And sometimes it was embarrassing for them that they say, oh my God, I’m asking, and manage to be biased to a child of 11 years old. And then I realized also like, yeah, you’re weird.

Barbara (00:05:16):

But at the moment they ask, I told them it was a normal thing, you know, but I could not ask advice from my mother because she would say, Barbara, why you asked me if you’re older than me. She says I’m 30, you’re three hundred And I was like, my mother is weird, you know, but I’ve grown into it. Do you know? And because my life was not always that easy. I became quite self-experienced in problem-solving, you know, because number one in my life, and I think in everybody’s life is being just happy, you know, make life simple and happy. And then you find a way to, you know, to bring that happiness in, not with sadness or anger or fear or ego, you know? So

Abby (00:06:04):

Exactly. And that being in that life, that’s not always easy. That challenge that kind of pushes you to find the answers to find a way yes,

Barbara (00:06:16):

Yes, yes. Standing or falling, you know, that’s the choice.

Abby (00:06:22):

It’s always, it’s a choice or it isn’t until you realize it is you find the tools to stand. And so people were asking you when you were 13, for marriage advice.

Barbara (00:06:39):

Yes. All kinds of advice

Abby (00:06:43):

Of advice. So you’ve constantly, you’ve always been this kind of Royal spring of knowledge and you had the confidence to share it. Cause a lot of 13-year-olds wouldn’t be that confident to point out things that don’t make sense to them and the world.

Barbara (00:06:58):

I didn’t feel, I didn’t feel like that, but it was, it came naturally. I just felt responsible for everything that moved around me. I felt responsible for my mother when I was five years old. You know, I, if she didn’t know what to do, I knew what to do. I took responsibility. I just took responsibility from her. So she didn’t have to go put it on. I just felt responsible for everything that moved around me. And I felt also responsible that they were happy.

Abby (00:07:33):

It’s a big burden to bear.

Barbara (00:07:35):

Yes, it is. It is. But luckily I didn’t realize that.

Abby (00:07:41):

But you didn’t realize it was a burden at the time.

Barbara (00:07:43):

That came later. Of course, when you’re more conscious, more grown-up than you think, oh my God, you know, I began to get sick. And so, and because you upload too much and I didn’t realize that.

Abby (00:07:57):

That’s something that I think so many children do. We love the family we care about. And then we should try to take on that pain. And then of course, because that’s, it’s, it’s hard to carry someone else’s pain when it’s theirs to carry.

Barbara (00:08:16):

And for me, people were like glass. I could see them through them, like less, I could see their pain, their emotion. I could see their sickness before it even was a reality in life, you know? Like, so I, I felt always that I had to save everybody what I did. I could, you know, I always came home with stories to my mother, like in the supermarket, there was a man in front of me and he had children and his family. And then she says, did you talk to the man? I say, no, but I, I know, you know, I could just read the story that he was standing in front of me, you know

Abby (00:08:52):

So you have this, this sort of psychic and empathic sense to feel into what’s going on with people.

Barbara (00:09:04):

Yes. Yes. But I don’t have one, I don’t know where the on and off button, it pops up whenever it wants to. When I think I realized through the years that I think, oh, that we’re just, you know, spirits or something, that’s giving me this info or because, you know, how can I know, you know, how can I, so it’s a mixture. I think of intuition and, you know, like I have kind of contact with energies that speak to me, through me.

Abby (00:09:47):

Absolutely. It sounds like a gift you give to be able to send some to the subtle and to work with those energies to understand and help.

Barbara (00:09:57):

I heard that a lot, many times when, when I, I w since I’m 11, I get the one sickness after the other. And they would immediately elderly people sick. And, my mother understood very fast that doctors could not help me. So sometimes I end up with a paranormal gift to people and they say, you’re so gifted. You’re so gifted. Then I was like, yes, blah, blah, blah. I don’t feel like that doesn’t feel like a gift. Not. I felt like I was far, far from that. You know, I felt like this cluster of all kinds of things and far from gifted. So I was like, whoa, I don’t understand this idea of being gifted. Yes.

Abby (00:10:42):

What does it feel like now?

Barbara (00:10:45):

It will always be like something that probably, I will never accept a hundred percent because there are many people through the years who compliment me and, and, and tried to put me on a footstool. And I think the fact that I don’t see it completely, always as a gift that keeps me, you know, on the ground, you know, I think I needed to also because, but I, I accepted more. I accepted more, I accepted more and more,

Barbara (00:11:19):

But it was a process. I believe it has a lot to work with when you’re that young.

Barbara (00:11:28):

Yes. Because it was not only the people for me that were like glass, but I had a connection with, out of the world. You know, I have, multi-dimensional experiences since I was a child and I was hounded. I was very scared, very scared every day, every day I was scared. I was never scared alone at night outside of the house, I was scared in the house. So I had the opposite of other children, children locked themselves in and closed the curtains, and closed the doors. When I was babysitting my brothers and my parents left the house, I opened the front door so that I could find a gateway out. I opened the back door, I opened the curtain. So for me, it was escaping out of the house and not in the house, you know? So the fear was very, so I had to pick it back.

Abby (00:12:24):

I would imagine that the world that you were seeing was very different from the world that those around you are seeing. Yes. And it’s a common thing for people who do have those senses, those able to tune in with so much more, that is subtle to have that kind of be overwhelming, especially when you’re young and you don’t know how to work with it yet. And it’s there whether you look at it or not.

Barbara (00:12:52):

Yes. I had to deal with it practically daily and there was not somebody I could talk to. And if I tried to talk to my mother, she just makes me understand, Barbara. I don’t understand you. Don’t talk to me about that because you scare me. I’m already scared of you. So don’t scare me more, you know, you’re the weird child she said to me when you were born, I’d say this child comes from another planet or the devil. She said to me

Barbara (00:13:21):

I don’t know where she comes from.

Abby (00:13:23):

You felt different and you were different.

Barbara (00:13:26):

Yes. I felt Different, but I wanted to, I didn’t want to be different. I just wanted to be normal, but it didn’t work.

Abby (00:13:33):

We all want to be normal when we’re kids, we all want to fit in and it’s painful to feel different. That’s like part of belonging when you’re young is so important. And so you’ve, you’ve had this ability, this gift, and then it is, it’s interesting too because our society seems in so many parts of the world, there is that fear around it, that fear around understanding what that gift is, or even seeing it as a gift rather than just being afraid of the unknown and with people all over the world, when they have been like in different cultures, those who are seen as shamans, they are often kind of feared by people in the culture because they didn’t understand fully what was going on. They’re kind of living between two worlds or multiple worlds. And, it was so unfamiliar to people that they had fear of that. And then there are all of the stories around religions and religious fears that have been created around, you know, the witch hunt. And so there’s all kinds of stories, photographs of how we, whenever what we should experience perceive, but I don’t personally subscribe to most of those stories. I just kind of subscribe to what feels true and right to me and my body.

Barbara (00:14:46):

I think that’s also part of the process. You know, that you’ve been labeled, for example, since a child, that you’re weird, that’s a big part of the process that you learn fast about compassion. You know, that you see that people don’t understand you. They think you’re weird. And, from when I was little, I had compassion for them. You know, I was like, I could accept that. I had a conversation with God, mostly on the toilet. And then I told him, I asked, or I told God-like, God, it’s no problem. You know that my mom doesn’t understand. It’s no problem. Don’t be angry with her. I’m not angry with her. No, that’s, this is also this part of this process that needs to be, you know because somehow I know that being a coach is my calling and the number one is compassion. The number one is to have a love for anybody who comes in front of me, like unconditional love. Like, it’s my child, it’s my mother. It’s my sister. It’s my brother. It’s me, it’s my friend. Do you know? So, and, and this is needed. This is needed. So that was part of the process, you know, like being seen as the weird one and the outsider.

Abby (00:16:11):

I think what you said is so beautiful. It’s such a good point, you know, that having compassion for everyone. And I feel like when you are one of those people who are not easily put inside of a box who are not easily labeled, we don’t have an obvious place. As far as society is concerned, then it does push you to have that compassion because you know what it feels like to be different and, and to work through that and then find, come to a place of peace with that word. Oh, it’s okay to be different for me and for everyone kind of what makes us interesting.

Barbara (00:16:51):

It took me years to accept that I was a weird one, but I could accept it from others. That was the first lead for me, you know?

Abby (00:16:59):

Well, it’s, it’s a good question too. Like what is weird? You know, our society is pretty weird. We are weird, and then we live in different parts of the world and I can’t speak to the culture as much as I can to North America. But, you know, we have all kinds of beliefs and we do all kinds of strange things and dysfunctional and often destructive things to ourselves, to each other, to the environment. Maybe it’s okay to be weird and not just like everyone else in that. That’s a good thing.

Barbara (00:17:34):

I think, yeah, every first and half, you know, every person has something weird or special, you know, and you know, sometimes I see when you see the, for example, the most ordinary people and you keep looking at, then you see all kinds of these special gifts or special, you know, things popping up, the way they smile or the way they look, their eyes, you know, everybody has, you know, something going on, you know?

Abby (00:18:05):

It’s beautiful to see that if those are those things where people let their guard down and they just let some other spirits shine through and that’s what makes it so beautiful and interesting that everyone comes in with their gifts to share. And even then, you know, the people who think that they aren’t, they don’t have gifts, they aren’t gifted in any way. It’s like, oh my goodness, you just, you need to see, you just need to permit yourself to connect with that part of yourself. That is so powerful and beautiful. Exactly.

Barbara (00:18:35):

People don’t know I, with the, with the tattoo connects with tattoo guidelines and they are based on numbers. So I don’t, I will not go myself in the middle of it, but I make apps based on people’s numbers, their birthdays, their, their name. And then when I give the profile to the people and I say, this is who you are. They look at me like I’m a liar. Like, why are you so positive about me? And I say, I don’t think you’re here really. Right. Because I say negative things too. Yeah. But it’s so positive and says, it sounds positive because still, now you probably didn’t know who you are and what your talents are. I say, if I would ask you to write two columns on the whiteboard in red and blue, the positive things about yourself and the negative, I would surely know already upfront that the line of the red things will be much longer through the line, you know? And, and that’s why maybe it’s good that you hear it for once and for all, what are your talents to do that? You have no idea about people. They, yeah. They don’t know what kind of talents they have in genital the scene. I notice.

Abby (00:19:51):

It’s so, so true. I think our, our mind has this tendency to focus on the negative and is also part of this perceived humility to not take, you know, to not claim things that are good about you, but I think claim and the good things, you know, pay attention to the good things and things that are working because then your mind will find more of that and align with more of that’s self-love. And that gratitude is its frequency. And as we shift into that frequency, it opens, allowing the gifts to flow through even more easily as beautifully as you do. So you do tattoos with numbers with, with different, is it astrological numbers?

Barbara (00:20:35):

I calculate for numbers based on the people’s birthdays and their complete birth name, the official birth name. And then I have four numbers, about what is in there, what lives in their soul, what is their soul purpose? What is their life, but what is their personality and what, how do they express themselves in the outer world? And then I’ll make a connection between these four numbers telling them, you know, this talent goes against this talent, and that’s why sometimes you feel confused inside. So I made a profile that I showed them. Sometimes you have a little war going on. That’s because in this number you’re strong with that. And in that number, it’s, you know, you’re not that strong and it’s fighting and then people get, see very clearly, oh my God. Now I know why I fight with my ex-husband about that.

Barbara (00:21:31):

And that, because now I see, you know, or in this job, you know, and based on that, I let my intuition speak. And then I make a one-line drawing, a one-line drawing, it’s a kind of one-line abstract, and I can read the lines. I can say to people, listen, this line, this line is in your personality. And it’s a kind of personal symbol that people can choose to have tattoos or not or make a Juul out of it. But for me, everything is energy and it’s surely influenced them, energetically that they walk with their talents and the reminder energetically, and you know, maybe visual that they don’t forget who they are. And what, what are their possibilities? You know,

Abby (00:22:18):

I couldn’t imagine a more personalized tattoo. Yes,

Barbara (00:22:22):

Yes. But I say to people, you don’t have to get it. you can just keep it as a drawing on your wall, or you can make a Juul of it. You know, it’s, everybody’s wish, you know, everybody,

Abby (00:22:35):

You said though, how, you know, when they, if they do choose to get tattooed on them when they look at it, they can be reminded of all of these, you know, special things about themselves.

Barbara (00:22:46):

Yes. It’s not only looking at it. It’s also the field. I know people, they tell me after, you know, like even they are not aware that the tattoo is there because sometimes you just forget, you have a tattoo because you don’t feel it. It’s not like jewelry. It’s a part of, you know, and you know that. Yeah. So they say, but it changed my life. It works somehow for me, even, they didn’t come with that believer. So some people, they have great stories, you know, like, wow, you know, they connect with it energetically because it’s that tooth with a certain intention, you know, that the line has an intention. It started with a certain intention and they are also wondrous about it. So the whole, the whole, the sum of everything makes that it has an energetic value for the people who get it.

Abby (00:23:42):

That’s beautiful. It sounds like it’s a talisman tattoo form that has been given us intention. And the movement of a line is this flow of energy. That’s helping them to tune in with that frequency of, of this part Of themselves

Barbara (00:23:55):

Yes. And it’s, it’s sometimes really amazing. I want to tell you a little story. Can I?

Abby (00:24:02):

Yes, please.

Barbara (00:24:03):

There was a girl and she was in Thailand and she met a girl and she said, I’m going to go to Bali. And the girl says, oh, really, if you go to Bali, you have to visit Barbara. She made guidelines. And she told me about these guidelines and the girl says, oh yeah, maybe I do that. Then she moved to Bali and she went to Hulu and there, she met a guy from Australia and the guy said, what’s yours, what’s your next stop? And she says, if you go to Ubud, you should see Barbara. She makes guidelines. She says, oh my God, somebody already told me in Thailand. So she came and saw me. And I say, what a story? And she says, yes.

Barbara (00:24:42):

And then I made a guideline for her. And she was kind of shocked. And I say, I said, beforehand, I put in this line by intuition, what I see in your numbers. But the lines will also reveal things about you that I don’t know, which is personal for you, but you have to turn the abstract around and you will see things that are personal that I don’t know. And she got me the guideline and she was like, shocked at us. She says, Barbara, is that an L? And is that an F? I said, oh yeah, it looks like it. She says that’s my sister or sister who died a couple of years ago. Her name was Laura. And then something with an F. And I say, oh, she says, that’s so amazing because I have to tell you since my sister died, my friends say, she’s not gone.

Barbara (00:25:37):

You know, we know about it. If people die, you just have to ask them to give signals and then they will give you signals. And then, you know, your sister is still there. So every night she says, Laura, if I put my lipstick here, can you tomorrow morning? See that the lipstick is somewhere else. So I know you’re here. And yes, it happened. So every night, Laura, if I put me back a year, can you replace me there? Then I know you’re here. And one day the mother goes to a big meeting of a paranormal on stage, who connects with people who have people who are passed over to the other side. And she called out, the mother knows for sure and the mother says, oh, that’s me. She says, okay, it’s your daughter, but she won’t have a message for you. The message is, for her younger sister and the mother. Okay. She says, she says to my younger sister, that she’s stopped keeping me so busy. And leave me in peace, you know, she already knows more, knows she has foreseen that I’m here and stop making me move objects. And so, you know, and the mother was like, oh my God. And she says to her sister, you have to stop doing it. You’re doing your sister say that you, you, you don’t leave her in peace. And she says, I stopped doing it. And now she comes back here in the guidelines. So nice.

Abby (00:27:05): See my goodness. Well now her sister doesn’t have to do all that work of moving stuff around.

Barbara (00:27:10):  So fun. It’s so funny. So funny. Oh, that’s

Abby (00:27:15):

So interesting. That’s the message on the other side, have stopped bothering yourself.

Barbara (00:27:21):

I’m here now. I’m with you. I’ll walk with you everywhere you go. Yes.

Abby (00:27:27):

And how that’s so beautiful that she has that with her, this, this physical part of her with her now, the lunch just showed you that. So you just let that.

Barbara (00:27:36):

I had no idea. Yes. I had no idea because I’m making this line and I see abstracts, you know, and I can explain the lines, but I tell the people who the line is. I say, look at the interaction of the lines. You will see the connection now. And people say, for example, there was a guy who says, well, Barbara, this looks really like a sailing boat and sailing. It’s my thing. And there’s a girl that says, Barbara, look, if you turn the design to the other direction, you see I say, oh yeah, it’s a bird and a plane, but I didn’t draw a bird and a plane. She says birds and planes are so important to me. So everybody sees, not everybody, but most of the people see something in it that, you know, that it’s so personal for them, you know? But I have no idea about that. It just pops up.

Abby (00:28:29):

When they see what, what is important to them, what they need to see

Barbara (00:28:32):

On it. And for them, it’s a bit like the confirmation, like, oh my God, probably, you know, as I can rely, rely on the, on the guideline, on the explanation. I can rely on what is given to me because there’s something very personal in it that the woman that Barbara doesn’t know, probably it’s a little sign to themselves. Like you can take this information as Sylvia,

Abby (00:28:57):

Allowing it to be an abstract piece. It’s like you create space for the messages to come through. It feels like our minds, you know, we want to like when it’s so literal, there’s not as much room for people to find the meaning and the message inside of it. So where can people find your tattoo shop?

Barbara (00:29:14):

In central Ubud. And we are on Instagram. We are the Pink Lotus Tattoo and fine art shop. And, some people, they, they hear about the guidelines and they, they don’t see the possibility to come to Bali. And they come back to me on Instagram, through my Instagram, on my name, or to the @pinklotustattooandfineart Instagram. And they ask for a guideline online and that’s possible too. They just give me a small recording, a voice recording that I can connect with their voice. And they sent me a picture. So I can see who they are. They give me their full name, their birth date. And then I send it by email. You know, that’s also done because some people don’t have access to come here, but it’s not necessary. It works online too, you know? Yes. But, people can find us on Instagram, on @pinklotustattooandfineart, or under my name, by Van Kooten Barbara on Instagram. Yes,

Abby (00:30:20):

Yes. Yeah. We’re in a connected world now don’t need to physically be there to receive the benefits of

Barbara (00:30:27):

Exactly. Exactly.

Abby (00:30:29):

Thank goodness. And it’s, it’s funny like there’s suddenly magical energy there. As I remember, it was the very first night we got to Ubud. It was like our first day in Bali and we were walking by our tattoo shop. And, it was you and Joe CO’s tattoo shop. And I looked, I looked in and I was like, oh, it’s time for me to get my tattoo, my first tattoo. And I was like, this magnetic pull that just like I meant to go in here. And I think a big part of it was because I was meant to meet you like, and then getting to spend time with you and see Bali through your eyes was probably my favorite part of being in Bali. Because you have this beautiful connection with the land, with the spirits there and with the energy there that, you know, it’s not something that a tourist would be able to just pick up, you know, without, without that awareness that you have. So I’m so grateful to you for that. 

Barbara (00:31:30):

Thank you. Thank you. I will never forget that moment that we sat on the couch together and, you know, your husband was with us outside and I felt this, you know, like a strong connection with you. Like, I don’t have a sister in real life, but I felt like, oh, she’s my sister. She’s my sister. You know, like a soul sister, you know, as I felt so understood, you know, that I felt so completely understood by you within, within that moment, like the totality of everything felt so as a blessing. So as a blessing, it feels so comfortable to feel that you have, you know, somebody who comes from the other side of the world in front of you, and you feel completely understood. Like that was so nice.

Abby (00:32:24):

It was so nice. And it was such a gift for me too because I’m also a weird person. Yeah. I know. So understood by you. And I was like, oh, it feels like I am home with someone who I, who I can truly connect with unfiltered. And so freeing and just so heart opening to get to have that time together.

Barbara (00:32:48):

I will never forget the look on your husband’s face. I looked at him and the way he looked at us, like, wow, you know, like I saw that he was so happy. I saw that he was so happy because I could see that he knows you well. And he felt I could see how happy he was, wow, nice. Yeah. I never, I forget that

Abby (00:33:20):

He does know me well. And I can imagine him being just so happy for us getting to have that moment because yeah. It’s not, it’s not every day that you meet someone weird in the ways that you’re weird. Get each other. You get each other’s weirdness

Abby (00:33:41):

That’s cool. Yeah. I love that. And so you do so many things, Barbara, and you have so many gifts and you help people in so many ways. And so you do these incredible line tattoos. And then what else, what else do you do? Tell me more about your coaching.

Barbara (00:34:00):

Yeah, the coaching. I worked as a coach, frankly. As long as I remember, but it’s, it starts taking more forms since I’m maybe 20, 21 years old. And then I worked a lot with back flowers and I had backup groups. I didn’t study about them. It just came to me. And then through the years, when I got older, the information got so intense that I did not know what to do anymore with it. Like, it didn’t feel like a blessing, but more like a curse. When I knew that people were going to die, that something’s going to happen and I could not save them. You know, I see a woman die. I knew that she’s going to die, a sign of sickness that she knew about, but I already could see it. And I saw, you know, what’s going to happen and I could not save her.

Barbara (00:34:55):

And she left, you know, five children behind and I felt so frustrated. Why should I know things that if I cannot save them, I felt it haunted me, the woman showing up every day in my house? And I say, what do you want for me? Do you know? And when I went to somebody for help, she said, you should go to this kind of school. It’s a school of [inaudible] and they’re getting development. And there you aren’t intuitive. How you say, so you list yourself, you completely, you know, go through all the layers. Who are you and what are the other people? And what are you? What is from you? And we learn about, we learn about energy, greetings, healings, and all these things. And normally this school takes six years. After three years, they throw me out, because they say, Barbara, you’re finished here. And I say, what do you mean? And they say, we cannot, we cannot help you any further it’s you become a teacher or you step out of the program. I thought that was hilarious. Like, no, no, I’m not finished here. And they say, you’re on your own.

Barbara (00:36:19):

This is your way. So I accepted that. Wow. So, yes. So I didn’t use exactly the forums that I learned from them, but they pop up sometimes when people are in front of me when I need to, you know, I will not, not ever say for example, that I’m a healer or a reader. Because the information for me comes from so many directions that I cannot pinpoint it. And I don’t know where’s the on and off button, you know? So when the word coach came up through the years, because before people didn’t call me a coach, for example, they say, oh, she’s a therapist. Or they call me all kinds of names. But for me to go by the name, the coach was the most logical approach, you know, like not scare people or not make that person have too many expectations that I’m going to give them a future profile of what’s going to happen in love and money.

Barbara (00:37:23):

And so, but work more in the now what can we do in the now? So for many years, I worked for free because I had a job and I didn’t need the money and I didn’t do it for money. I did it because there was just a request and I followed it up. But when I came to Indonesia, I realized that I could not, could not do that anymore. I could not, you know, live, divided like that to be more. And I made a choice just to work as a coach. And then I approached it more professionally also because I, I guided many people through the years that, I saw that because they didn’t pay, like they had a lack of, you know, taking things seriously, you know, and other people who were in the same work like me, they say, Barbara is going to be very frustrating for you.

Barbara (00:38:24):

If you see that people don’t follow up because there needs to be a balance, a given date. And if they don’t feel that they have to do something for it, they take it for granted. And then, in the end, I felt so frustrated that they got sicker and didn’t listen. And, you know, I cannot live like that to take it all in my, you know, to my sleep or in my system to take responsibility. And therefore I also saw the necessity to make people understand this is needed. And I think it works well, you know?

Abby (00:39:04):

Absolutely. And I couldn’t agree more. It’s that, you know, this kind of work, this sort of like helping people to heal and connecting with your intuition and all of the intelligent consciousness around you, it’s a really old kind of healing. And, you know, there can be this sort of, almost expectation of altruism to do it for free, but you know, the problem with that is it doesn’t fill your cup up because you’re deserving of, abundant life. And then like you pointed out so perfectly, if they don’t invest in it, then they don’t make that choice to value it and to value themselves. It’s like, when they give that money, that energetic exchange, then they are choosing to take their healing seriously. Like their health and wellness. Seriously.

Barbara (00:39:59):

It works like that. It’s like when somebody buys a pair of shoes and they pay more money for it than they normally do, they cherish the shoes, they Polish them. And normally they don’t Polish shoes anymore these days, but then they will take care. But when they buy just cheaper shoes, they, you know, they just, you know, lie around and they will not keep an eye too much on their shoes. You know, I see it a bit like this, you know, they, they pay for something for themselves. Like I’m doing this for myself and they respected them. And I asked them to take notes because sometimes so many things are said to her session, take notes and they do that. And they follow up, you know, because, you know, they say, I paid for this and this is for me. And, I’m going to do this. I want to achieve, you know, results, you know, while I see a big difference in that, that it’s just a conversation, you know? That’s and yeah, it’s, it’s, I don’t want to say that people just always take it for granted, but sometimes yes, it happens like that. It’s nobody’s been

Abby (00:41:06):

Exactly, exactly. It. It’s about helping them to decide to, to work on their life and themselves. Cause that’s like, ultimately everyone does their healing and you guide them to that place, but it’s, it’s still a choice that they have to make.

Barbara (00:41:23):

Yes, yes. Yeah. I do see myself like that. Like, like I’m just a temporary tool in people’s lives, even another tool, you know, even, I don’t frankly know what I am, but you know, it’s 10, we’ll do everything. When they praise me like Barbara, you helped me. You did it. You make it happen. And I’ll say, I don’t think you understand the coaching well because you did it yourself. You decided to come and see me. You made the decision that you wanted to have changed. So you created me in your life as a tool. You know, it’s not that I popped up on your front door and said, I’m coming here to help you. Hello, I’m Barbara and I’ve come to change your life.

Abby (00:42:11):

Hey, great opening. Yes. Well, yeah, it’s true. And it’s

Abby (00:42:17):

Like that old saying, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. And it’s like, when when the person is ready to go on their journey

Abby (00:42:28):

And then there you were. Yeah. And I liked

Abby (00:42:34):

What you said too about, coaching

Abby (00:42:36):

And want to focus more on the now as opposed to the future. And yeah. Do you find it, a lot of people who are coming to you wanting to know about the future instead of, instead of looking at them now,

Barbara (00:42:52):

Especially in Indonesia, because the difference between the European people and Indonesian people is the Indonesian people can see and they can see the color of my aura, or they can see something with me and they will whisper to each other. She has a gift, a gift of cheese. She’s this or that. And it makes it, they will base their questions on what they think, what they think about me. You know, they label me already before they come and see me. So they will ask me about what is the future, what is going to bring you knowing they want to know. They want to know. And I always say, I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. But at the moment I’m in refusal, like, I don’t know. I don’t know. Sometimes information comes through, and I start suddenly talking about things, but that’s because it’s permitted. So, maybe it’s a spiritual one. So, you know, because maybe something they have to know, but I’m not going to look for it. No

Abby (00:43:55):

Just open to receive if it wants to come. But yeah. Yes.

Barbara (00:44:00):

People are very anxious to know about love and money, you know? Yeah. But there was always a logic to it. You know, if people are in a lot of fear and doubt, then I say, wow, you don’t have to be a paranormal to know what is the outcome of your attitudes. If you put a lot of fear in your thinking, in your daily life, then you can know that you’re already creating your future with a lot of fear too. If you say I try, I try. I hope I hope. Yeah. Don’t expect to have results. But if you say, I want that for me and it’s going to happen, you know, I trust I trust. Then you can expect a result. You know, if you base your life on trust, you know, don’t see yourself as a, as a, sometimes I say to people, I think you think there’s somewhere a book written, with your name on it.

Barbara (00:44:55):

Everybody can be happy, have money, abundance, happiness, except for this girl. No, it’s not for her. It’s for all the rest of the world, but not for her. I think you think there is a book like that with your name on it. You know, you know, there is abundance and everything in love and everything for everybody. It’s just that we know how to tap into it with first acceptance and trust. You know, people put their trust in other people, but they forget that. Number one, trust is the first to trust with yourself and trust with life because you know, all these trusting people after they feel betrayal and they’re going to put the responsibility with that other person. But when you trust yourself and trust life, then you take responsibility. I trust that I married the right guy. I didn’t marry my man because I trusted him. No, I married him because I trusted myself that I married the right guy. And if he, after a while changes and something happens, I’m not going to hold it against him. I’m going to say, it’s fine. You know, but I’m going to still be very happy that I’m managing, but I will see it like, you know, process, you know, change, you know, but therefore I don’t have to hold him accountable for my happiness.

Abby (00:46:16):

Well said, and I love that you say, you know, it just makes sense. You know you can, you can tune into all of these things in psychic gifts. And then also just look at, you know, the life you’re living in the way that you’re taking ownership for it or not. And then just seeing how the natural effects that, that will be, that will be created from that.

Barbara (00:46:41):

Yes. How interested are people in their own lives to make their life? Like, it feels good to them. Everybody has that possibility, but it’s just the interest. How interested are you in your own life? How interested are you to feel happy? You don’t have to be happy 24 hours. You don’t have to be happy all the time, but that you feel every moment, this, this bliss, you know, this moment of happiness, I’m alive. You know, I can walk, talk, and eat with friends. I have loved, you know, that you feel like I have something to work with, you know? And I am interested in having this happy life. And if you, if people have that, that’s from there on, they can go anywhere, you know? And then everything will fall into place.

Abby (00:47:34):

Mm absolutely. Because a lot of people are interested in the problems. It’s like shifting that focus. Yes.

Barbara (00:47:44):

Well said

Abby (00:47:55):

Becoming interested in your happy life, becoming interested in a life that feels good. And then, you know, your mother, you mentioned too, like so many it’s, it’s not that everyone else gets to have all of these wonderful things and this wonderful life and happiness, but not you like nothing. I don’t know. I think the universe made that rule anywhere. It’s just realizing that people can have that, that they’re deserving of that worthy of that.

Barbara (00:48:25):

Yes, yes. Yes. I sometimes think that people underestimate, you know, the happiness that lives within people. Like, for example, when people see a child begging on the streets, they look at that child with, you know, with eyes of worry, like, oh, the child and nothing in groups will come from it and it has no love. And, but they don’t, they don’t see what that child already has. The child is healthy. You have two arms, two legs can talk, and have so much potential. And that child, for sure, also it’s moments in the day of happiness and our responsibilities to look with trust and with love at that child and say to that child and recognize it. They look at it and smile and say with our heart, you can be anybody who you want to, you know, and that for me is love.

Barbara (00:49:16):

But if we look at that child with worry, that is radically fear, sending fear to that child, like, yeah, you’re sitting there. There’s not much that game, you know, that comes from your life because you don’t have the possibilities. We cannot underestimate that. Every person that we meet, no matter what kind of situation will have their points or their moment in life, that they know what is happening, you know, and it’s not up to us to decide that, you know, it’s not up to us. If we don’t see it, maybe it has to move with, to do with us, you know, then, then with the person that we look at, you know?

Abby (00:49:55):

Well said, and it’s is that having that, that trust, that faith, that knowing that it isn’t up to us and just knowing that there’s so much more going on and life and the universe in each person’s life and on their journey that we couldn’t possibly know everything that’s happening or should happen or control. It’s just trusting that you know, life has been moving and living for a lot longer than each of us has.

Abby (00:50:27):

And just, it has

Abby (00:50:29):

That intelligence and knows what to do and knows how to move forward. Because look at this beautiful planet that we live on. Look at this incredible solar system we’re in, look at how intelligent life is to create this, to have created this experience that we get to be in. And then to have that faith in it. Look at it, look, look how much is around. Look how to look at what’s good around you, in you.

Barbara (00:50:54):

It’s exactly what you say. You know, like life was there before and after us, when people come and see me, for example, when they have a problem, but not immediately the solution, then I say the most precious key to hold at that moment is trust. You don’t see how it’s going to work out. You don’t know where the solution comes from, but if you base yourself completely, I trust that a solution will come. Life has seen more possibilities of what solutions are there for you and possibilities that we, we are so limited because of who we are, but life isn’t. So if we have this knowledge, that life knows better, life knows everything. And we don’t. Then we just put our trust in life and say, okay, I have this situation. And I accept that life will give me a solution. And I don’t have to look for it. I don’t have to look to the left or the right or looking how it’s going to look like I’m just going to be wondrous, how life is going to arrange this because it will be arranged and you will get confirmation very fast because that is, you know, connecting to this network of energies that clicks in that everything falls into place. And that’s magic, that’s magic and that’s life, you know,

Abby (00:52:18):

Beautifully said, I couldn’t agree more. And I love that. You said [inaudible], how much do we let ourselves have a feeling of wonder when we come into the world. So full of it. And we get busy and have obligations throughout life. And just coming back to that place that we come into of just the sense of pure wonder and how all the magic of life and when you allow it to be magical and you have that faith as you said, you don’t have to go looking forward or figure it all out. It’s just trusting that it will come and just seeing how it shows up and what way, and just being open, enjoying the magic of that, and working with life, to bring that to you. It’s beautiful. And I also love that you said, I love the analogy of, you know, if there’s a child that was begging on the street and that reflex would be to feel bad for them.

Abby (00:53:14):

And, but it’s like, well, they are a powerful being, and yeah, there’s parts of their life that struggle, but you’re right. Like, look at their healthy body. Look at how they’re having this experience of life. Good. There, they’re breathing, they’re moving, becoming incredible. They are. And I love that. You know, when you see that in them when you see the power of someone, it helps you to draw it out of them. When you said, you know, you’d say you could be anything you want and they could be, but if someone’s busy, pitying them, they’re seeing the worst. But when you’re seeing the powerful part of them, that they could be anything they want, it helps them to see that too. It’s like, if it’s like a frequency that you help them to come into their power, that’s a sign of a great coach to see the magic in someone and helping them to see that too.

Barbara (00:54:05):

I think every seed we plant in any kind of person, you know, we plant a little seed in a child that we see on the street or plant the seed of love. And, and from our heart, we say, you are everything. You can be everything that seed will grow. That’s it? Because that child cannot take that seat out with the ego and say, I don’t want that seat. You know, it’s, it’s planted there. And that seat will grow like a seed in the ground. It doesn’t know it’s going to be a flower or a tree that the seat will grow. And that’s where the seed of love to you plants a seed in, in a child or in somebody that you meet that seed will grow and will have its way, you know, to find its way. So it’s, for me, very important that we see people, the streets who are in bad situations, that we don’t see it only as a bad situation, but we see it as a part of their journey with compassion. And we’d send them love and say, I know you’re there, but I know that you have all possibilities because we are all rich and poor in something. There is nobody who’s reaching everything. And there is nobody who sports in everything that doesn’t exist, that doesn’t exist. That’s an illusion everybody’s rich and bore in something powerful

Abby (00:55:36):

Words beautifully said, and it’s so true. And when you, when you have that level of awareness of realizing that you’re planting seeds all the time, you know, and, and choose to plant seeds of love and support to let go of stories of petty or stories of seeing the worst of things and to instead send them love, that’s such seen more transformative energy and such a different way of engaging with the world that can, that, that lifts it instead of keeps, instead of keeping it the same or lowering it, it’s a way of seeing it and lifting it.

Barbara (00:56:17):

Yeah

Abby (00:56:19):

Yeah. Beautiful. Because I think people forget just how they are. They forget that their thoughts have energy, electromagnetic energy that goes out and, you know, others can feel subtly. And when you magnify that with all of the people that perceive each of us, all of those feelings of other people can kind of feel like those layers, but what if we continue to send each other love to continue to see the best in each other? What kind of world would that be?

Barbara (00:56:51):

Wow. Yeah

Abby (00:56:55):

It’s powerful. This is why I’m, so to talk with you so much wisdom,

Barbara (00:57:02):

Thank you.

Barbara (00:57:09):

I don’t always feel like that, you know because I’m 54.

Abby (00:57:15):

You did not, I would not have guessed. You were 54

Barbara (00:57:19):

And that’s, I think a bit of the mix of the Asian blood that sometimes people also my size, you know, I’m not so tall. And then, people sometimes think I’m much younger, but then I say I’m far too young from far, far from young.

Abby (00:57:39):

You have that you were at 300 when

Abby (00:57:42):

You were 13, 18. So you’re a very old soul,

Abby (00:57:45):

But you look

Abby (00:57:46):

Young in this life. Yeah. You have that eternal youth and go and.

Barbara (00:57:52):

Emotionally, I still feel 12.

Abby (00:58:02):

It’s something I was going to say. I think it is part of what makes you see me if you have these Youthful, joyful spirits. I feel like that’s a goal, you know, so to grow in wisdom and then also to have that innocence and that wonder with life, that’s just, just being authentic and being in the moment. And it’s so beautiful to still have

Barbara (00:58:21):

Yes. And also risky. Like when you come on a podcast like this, then I say to myself, don’t say something stupid. Don’t say something stupid. You know, don’t do stupid. Don’t say something ridiculous, you know, because that’s possible.

Abby (00:58:38):

You Know, I think that’s what I love about you is that we would all have those thoughts. You know, we’d all think those thoughts before going into an interview or podcast. But you’re just so authentic and express yourself so clearly. And that’s just like, it’s the innocence there. And, you know, thinking about, you know, how much people will repress and filter what they’re feeling and thinking, and then it gets bottled up inside and creates all kinds of problems. But you can just be an expression as you think and feel it’s, it’s just a better flow to be in life. I feel.

Barbara (00:59:15):

Yeah, because the moment did go wrong. I think Barbara is going wrong and it’s like, train. I cannot stop myself anymore because I think it goes wrong. I say, stupid things, stop it. And it gets worse, you know?

Abby (00:59:30):

That’s, that’s the mind it gets, it goes down its rabbit holes and his patterns. And then it’s like, okay, well, how do I, how do I reign it back? Yeah. And I feel like that’s, like, it’s a gradual thing. You know, it’s like, okay. I reigned it in, within, you know, within, in a shorter period, it’s like, you know, instead of striving for the sense of perfection, it’s just noticing progress. And I, when I did the love of Hassanah meditation, they would say, oh, you’re doing good. If you realize your mind has watered within 20 minutes, instead of within an hour, I should know all the time. But like, no, no, no, just accept where your mind is at and just bring it back. When you realize it’s going off, it’s gone somewhere. It’s like, oh, just celebrate that. You have this awareness again. That is back. Cause that’s just, we all have these monkey minds. And we’re all, you know, most of us are working on training them and with our awareness. And it’s just, it’s a, it’s a gradual process.

Barbara (01:00:33):

I have a whole family of monkeys inside of,

Abby (01:00:41):

You live near a monkey forest too.

Barbara (01:00:43):

Yeah. Maybe

Barbara (01:00:49):

They wonder how it is in the city. Yeah. They wander the city. Now they pull out of the monkey forest.

Abby (01:00:56):

Are they not feeding them there as much anymore? Okay. No, no,

Barbara (01:01:01):

Yes, yes.

Abby (01:01:03):

Your monkeys there scare me. I keep my distance. They’re incredible to watch. What, I, I try not to bother them.

Barbara (01:01:12):

Yeah, Me Neither. I run from them, you know if I see them because they have like all kinds of diseases and so, and it is a fact, you know? Yeah.

Abby (01:01:22):

You don’t wanna have to go and get a shot or something after getting bit. Exactly. So with your coaching, how do people work with you? Do they like to come and see you as you work online? How does that work?

Barbara (01:01:42):

Yeah, in the early years in the earliest, people come and see me, but now in the last few years, I work most of the time online. And that is a bit also up to people. Some people even take a plane to come and see me when they come from Jakarta or so, or people that are on a holiday. And they know about me. They come and see me personally, but, some people, they sign up for, a one month by month coaching, like they want a month session and then, you know, see how it goes and to a couple of months, even up to a year, but other people, they just want, they haven’t very clear, problems, situation, you know, at work, in their household. And they need just one clear conversation about that. And sometimes I just have one session with people, if it can be efficient up to three, four hours, you know, sometimes we take your break and we pick up again that same day, but they are, they are done. You know, they are like, they say, I know what to do. And that’s also what happens also regularly, but this is people who say I’m okay, my life, you know, or why things go well, but this is what bothered me. And I need a solution for that. And they say people tell me that you always have an answer to everything. So I want to hear what you got to say, you know, like, like that, you know?

Abby (01:03:14):

You have a name out there, people flying in to come and get a session. That’s great. Yes.

Barbara (01:03:20):

I follow up people with, different situations, you know, some people have, pre-teens or they ask for things in their life, you know, that they don’t have trauma around, but you know, they, they still struggle with it with a debt of somebody, you know, like, or, you know, like personal attitudes in life, getting bullied, you know, it’s or, you know, have trouble with growing up kids, you know, not to know how to deal with the kids are, are now a couple helping them to divorce, you know? So they will not have a for that. Yes. So I’m a mediator between them. They, you know, they go to a nice divorce because there aren’t children, but I follow more, you know like it’s not that I have a schedule for people because we never know how it’s gonna work out. I just see what is in the moment the most, persistence, what needs to be looked at and talked about, you know?.

Abby (01:04:42):

So fluid. Yes. Yeah. And if someone, where is the best place for people to reach you for coaching, if they wanted to reach out to you?

Barbara (01:04:56):

Yes, I have a website called happinisscoachandspiritualcounselor.weebly.com Or they can find me, Instagram @vankootenbarbara. And they can find my contact number or email address, or they can look on the website.

Abby (01:05:22):

And I’ll put that in the show notes as well. Thank you very much. Oh my goodness. Thank you. You have so much wisdom and you’ve lived such an interesting life and you continue to live such an interesting life. It’s such a pleasure to speak with you and just share your energy. Do you have anything else that you want to say for the world? Any messages that you want to share?

Barbara (01:05:43):

What, for me, feels very important at this moment is generally seen in people’s life. Is that everything, what was before, what worked for you before and doesn’t work anymore? Don’t try to fix it. Don’t try to see, like, it has to continue things what’s happened before the world is changing. So the most important thing for me is that people be flexible, be flexible, go with the flow, be flexible and follow your feeling, your feeling, and flexibility, trusting yourself. And you can trust life a hundred percent trust life, life created this platform with all possibilities, all that we want is there. So the most important is the acceptance of what your life is and the trust for what you want can happen. And trust is the biggest thing, you know, and always choose for love and not for fear, love, and not fear.

Abby (01:06:56):

Beautifully said why his words. I love it. Thank you so much for talking with me before.

Barbara (01:07:07):

Thank you. So, so, so, so very, very, very much for inviting me. I feel very honored and blessed, and I’m very happy to be here and thank you for your very interesting questions and for giving me space. Thank you very much.

Abby (01:07:28):

Oh my goodness. My pleasure. Thank you so much. It’s, it’s always just so fun getting the doc because it’s refreshing and it’s, you’re such a, you’re such a breath of fresh air because you’re just so open and honest and genuine, and it’s so lovely to be in that energy and to be in your energy and thank you for sharing your wisdom and thank you for all that you do, and the tattoos and the artwork and the coaching and all that you’ve been doing since you were a young child. All right, my dear. Thank you. And we’ll talk soon.

Abby (01:08:12):

All right. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for being you and thank you for listening. If you enjoy today’s podcast, I encourage you to leave us a review. We’re on Apple iTunes, and you can go ahead and like to share and subscribe while you’re at it. Thank you so much. I’m Abigail Moss and this is the mindbodyfree podcast.

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Live Coaching: Imposter Syndrome & Being a Healer

01 live coaching

Imposter Syndrome and Being a Healer

In this live coaching session, I coach my guest on releasing feelings of imposter syndrome and stepping into her worthiness as a healer.

 


 

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Full Show Transcript

Abby (00:00):

Hello, and welcome to the mind body free podcast. In the very first episode, I’m your host Abigail Moss, and I’m also a transformation coach and a healer. And this episode is very dear to my heart because this is all about feeling worthy, but working through imposter syndrome so that you can do what you feel really, truly called to do what matters most to you as, as something that I have overcome. And I’ve seen it with many, many people who are on their path to fulfilling their passion and purpose. And this is quite a common obstacle that pops up. And if you have been working through feelings like this, I would like some support. Please encourage you to reach out, to contact me, or whoever you feel called to receive help from because the world needs those amazing gifts that you’ve come here to share. And it’s simply a matter of working through whatever obstacles are on the path to your greatest potential, fulfillment, and joy. So without further ado, please enjoy this coaching session.

Abby (01:16):

So why don’t you tell me about what sex, what you’d like help with? Yeah, so I think that

Guest (01:25):

One thing that I want to get help with is like imposter syndrome and like kind of coming into, like, I’m kind of in the process of, of becoming a healer and I want to own it, I guess, and feel like I belonged in that world in a sense, and just like trusting my intuition when it comes forward more.

Abby (01:48):

Okay. Beautiful. And that’s a beautiful thing to bring into the world. Well, could use more healers, I think. So. All right. And has this imposter syndrome feeling been there and showed up in other parts of your life as well? Yeah

Guest (02:05):

I think it’s always been a thing. Like I always kind of felt like I wasn’t good at anything. I’ve always thought that I was bad at everything from the time I was a little kid. And so I think anytime I was good at anything ever, I always felt like, I was being phony. Like I always, and I always had to like put myself down for it cause I would be like, it’s like, it was too much to believe that I could be good at something I’m not sure. Okay. But you must,

Abby (02:32):

Do you believe you are good at something?

Guest (02:35):

Okay. Yeah, that’s weird, but yeah,

Abby (02:42):

You know, it’s, it is what it is. These beliefs come in early on in life and, they stick to us until we explore them and let them go. Okay. So what does it say when you’re doing something that you, that you love? What is, what are the thoughts that appear, that come up when it’s like, okay. Mine to be a healer moving into this role.

Guest (03:10):

It’s like, what if I’m not good enough? Like, what if I make a mistake? Yeah, just like what, like kind of, what if I’m kidding myself? Like what if, like, what if I’m being stupid and like, this is just like, I’m like I’m being egotistical or something is what comes to mind. Like fair. Do you think that you’re good at this?

Abby (03:31):

Right? How dare he think that you’re good at work? Yeah. Cause it’s like the ego can appear in egotistical ways. Like, I am amazing at this and I can also appear in ways of like, how dare you to have confidence in that. And it’s also like a challenge, right? And so, you know, someone who steps into that role, especially doing anything you love and it’s aligned with your passion and purpose, there’s this, this challenges along the way of like, do you want it, do you want it? Are you sure? Let me see how much you want it so true. And you want it that’s for sure. Yeah. I can tell that as you wouldn’t ask to be coached on this because it’s something that a part of you knows. Okay. Let’s this is, this is part of the journey and moving forward. Yeah. Okay. All right. And so when you think about it, when you think that, you know, and let that thought comes up, we can call it like when those little gremlins come up out there, you do this, or how do you think about being a healer? Who do you think you are? where do you feel that in your body?

Guest (04:41):

In my jaw is the first thing that is coming to me, but I’m now starting to get a headache behind my eyes, which is reminding me of these headaches I always had as a kid. So like all over my face, I think,

Abby (04:52):

On all of your face. Yeah. Okay. And it says, how dare you or who do you think you are? Or what does it say?

Guest (05:00):

Yeah. I’m hearing like, how dare you. I’m just hearing like you worthless like a piece of bleep

Abby (05:08):

Or you’re just really mean like, yeah, it does not sound very nice at all. Yeah. Okay. And just, you know, understand that that came in at some point, everything is serving a purpose in some way, you know, and this all way, that’s, you know, it feels like it to me. And we can look into it more as like, this is serving a purpose in a way that it’s pushing you and to being stronger. Cause you know, it’s, it’s like when someone comes over and shoves you, they keep doing until you say, Hey, you know, screw up. And that is enough no more. And then at that moment that you get stronger.

Guest (05:43):

That’s true. That’s very true.

Abby (05:46):

Up for yourself. Okay. So is what it’s saying true. That you are worthless bleep.

Guest (05:54):

Okay. No, no,

Abby (05:56):

No. Good. So what is more true than what it’s saying? What could be more true than that? Worthless? What is more, what is the opposite of that

Guest (06:08):

To be worthy? I guess.

Abby (06:10):

Yeah. So how does it feel to think that thought I’m worthy of being here healer?

Guest (06:16):

Hmm. On let me, it feels bad.

Abby (06:22):

Gets bad into me. Yeah. Give it a moment.

Guest (06:26):

Chip. You have some weird it’s like, Hmm. Does this belong here? interesting.

Abby (06:33):

Another one. Yeah. We’ll put aside that being a healer part for now and just say I am worthy.

Guest (06:40):

I am worthy. Yeah, I am. Yeah. How does that feel?

Abby (06:45):

Yeah, of course. Say that you’re not worthy is kind of like arguing with a universe where the universe is like, yeah, you have been created, you exist, you know, nature deemed you worthy life deemed you worthy. And then let’s unpack. What does it mean to be a healer?

Guest (07:16):

To be a healer. I just like heard the words, like black sheep, like it’s like against the grain. Like I have to step apart from where I was trying to hide. Almost like kind of this, it’s like courageous in a way, I guess.

Abby (07:35):

Because it can feel that’s an, and that’s an aspect of, you know, when the inner critic says don’t even think about it, then it’s like, okay, I’ll keep hiding. And so, you know that that’s like a way to feel safe by not step stepping out courageously and being seen.

Guest (07:56):

And it’s funny. Cause now I’m like feeling a lot in my heart. Like it’s like, sure it’s safe, but it’s like closing off my heart. Like it’s not what I want.

Abby (08:07):

You’re right. To be. You don’t want to be a black sheep.

Guest (08:10):

Don’t be. Yeah.

Abby (08:12):

And is it true that you have to be a black sheep to be Hmm? Yes. What comes up? Yeah, absolutely. It’s certainly true that you have to be black to be

Guest (08:29):

A healer. No, no, no, certain.

Abby (08:33):

Okay. And so just unpacking a little more, what is a black sheep and you said against the grain and so someone that goes against the grain, is that someone who is, he doesn’t belong, who’s rejected by society. What does it mean?

Guest (08:49):

Someone who’s rejected by society. Someone who doesn’t belong. Yeah. Like an outcast. Yeah. Okay.

Abby (08:59):

And you know, it naturally has those feelings because you know, if you look at our history, those who would, who, who would call healers now and like, herbalists energy workers, plant communicators, animal communicators, you know, people who, who worked in ways that weren’t understood by others were harmed for that. Yeah. And they were outcasts, you know? and that there are other reasons for that other religious and ego and other reasons for those things happening. But, and that’s natural to have that still on the psyche. Yeah. Call it the which wound, wherein the collective psyche, there’s this, all of these people who’ve been healers throughout history have experienced these things. Yeah. And, and at that time it may have been true, but we’re looking at today, what is true today? And so have you seen, different healers, different people who you’d consider a healer out there in society being accepted by society?

Guest (10:04):

Yeah, I have.

Abby (10:07):

How does it feel to see that

Guest (10:10):

It feels good. It feels, it feels, yeah. Like it just feels like it shouldn’t be, to it’s

Abby (10:21):

Natural. Yeah. They’re hoping they’re offering something beautiful to the world and supporting and serving,…nd facilitating this process of healing and awakening. It’s natural. Yeah. At some point throughout human history, we had pain around that and there are other reasons for that, but we don’t need to go into that right now because we’ve been through that. Yeah. Yeah. So look at, we’re looking around at the evidence today. So is it true that today to be a healer means that you have to be rejected by society and be an outcast?

Guest (10:58):

Who it’s interesting? Like almost like broadly. No, but then when I get almost like the closer I get to like my inner circle and it’s not even true because like, I don’t think with my friends, but like, just like my, like the community that I came from, I S I still, like, I feel like I would be projected

Abby (11:18):

And I understand that, and that’s, that’s entirely natural and it’s part of growth and change, you know? And when you change, you find new people, new communities, cheer on that’s part of growth, you know, and those who, who you knew may change in different directions. And they may find their communities or stay with the ones they have. And that’s okay. We all move and move forward and grow. And that’s part of the evolution.

Guest (11:43):

Like almost like I don’t need to be accepted by the community that I already chose to leave.

Abby (11:52):

It’s actually, yeah. When you thought of what will everybody think? It’s like, well, I can go to my, everybody,

Guest (11:59):

Everybody now. It’s so funny. Cause yeah. Like my friends and like, yeah, like it’s just like the community I surround myself with now what like does accept me. They actively accept me. But I always think about all the people that, I left because they wouldn’t accept me. And I’m like, oh, well they accept me now. How can I convince them?

Abby (12:20):

Right. Right. And it doesn’t matter. No. Because you’ve already moved on. I have. Yeah. Updating those beliefs for your life today, your life now, because you’re already moving into this. Yeah. That’s yours. Yeah. So moving on from the history of what it meant to be a healer moving on from the previous community that you had on recognizing now that you say those people are actively accepting you, not even a passive. Yeah.

Guest (12:57):

It’s true. It’s true. I can like, feel like melting this in my face. Like, I dunno like the gremlin energy is just like melt, melting.

Abby (13:11):

Thanks for letting me know because it’s wonderful. It’s visceral when you feel those shifts happening. Cause they all happen in your body and into the experience that you know, it’s shifting. Yeah. Good. So is it true that you need to be rejected or outcast to be a healer? No. No. What’s what could be more true than that. Okay. Will the opposite of that be

Guest (13:36):

Okay. I’m hearing the word like acceptance. For some reason, I am accepted that doesn’t feel like V1. What was the opposite one? I already forget.

Abby (13:55):

So the opposite one and that’s good. Your mind, your mind shifting I forgetting is things are processing and moving neurons are moving in new places. So it was that belief that said to be a healer means you have to be rejected by society and be an outcast. And so acceptance. That’s good. The opposite of that. Yeah. And so can’t control what others do. You know some will receive what you do because they’re meant to when they’re ready to,…and others. Well, and that’s fine. And they’re not, they’re not meant to work with you, or at least not at that time. Right. When we’re talking about, you know, society as a whole. Now, if you were to move forward into what you’re doing and even in your community that you’re around now, you use that are actively accepting you. Yeah. Is it safe for you to become a healer within the life and the world that you are in now? Yes. Good. How’s it feel to say yes.

Guest (14:54):

Yeah. It makes me want to cry. Like it’s like, oh yeah. Like it, because I feel like it wasn’t safe before and

Abby (15:00):

Now. Yes, exactly. exactly. It’s pretty cool to realize that, oh, it is safe now. Yeah. Like I can come out from my cave. The storm is over. Yeah.

Guest (15:15):

Yeah.

Abby (15:16):

And there’s another piece of this too, is around acceptance is that feels accepting yourself. Yeah. Who you are and in coming out from your cave and letting that be seen, that’s another way of accepting yourself. It’s a way of allowing others to see you.

Guest (15:38):

Yeah.

Abby (15:41):

So can you, is it okay to accept all of yourself now as a healer, as who you are and with the world and life you have now?

Guest (15:50):

Yeah, it is. Yeah. So weird. I’m like flashing to like the darkness of like, just like the mental illness and stuff I struggled with before I like came into my power and it’s, I’m like seeing myself, like stepping out into the world, like with both and just like how this is like both, I don’t know like it’s okay. They like, they’re allowed to coexist. Yes. And, and embodying that almost, it feels like, just true. Like it just feels, I don’t know. It feels good. I had like the broken bits and just present the part of me that like everything’s all together. It’s like, no, like this is the reality. I don’t know.

Abby (16:38):

It’s okay to have broken bits. It’s okay. To be vulnerable and be honest because everyone has broken bits. Yeah. They’re all working on it. Yeah. Yeah. And like you mentioned with, you know, the mental illness that, and you mentioned it briefly, and then I was part of stepping into your power. Now, did that help you step into your power? Or how did, how did that affect you stepping into your power?

Guest (17:07):

Well, it was like, if I don’t figure this out, I’m going to go to what I believed I would, yeah. I’d have to go to like a psychiatric ward or beyond medications for the rest of my life. And it was like, from the time I was a little girl, cause as I started, I was hearing voices from the time I was like five. And so it was like, I needed to figure this out or else this is going to be a dark life. And then, so it was just like a massive catalyst, like, like I don’t know my earliest memories. Like I remember when the internet first existed, the first thing I started researching was ways how to heal this. It’s just like always dry, like a driving undercurrent in my life. Wow. That’s interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

Abby (17:57):

Yes. That’s beautiful. And that’s a really important message for people to hear. Yeah. You know, and in other cultures, in shamanic Aboriginal cultures, illness is seen as the birth of

Guest (18:08):

A healer. It’s like, it feels true to me. Like yeah.

Abby (18:15):

And it’s, that’s experiential for you. Yeah. Yes. That exactly. It catalyzes you to find ways to find healing.

Guest (18:24):

Yeah, definitely. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Which is so funny because I mean, you see so many, it’s not funny, but like you see so many people with struggling with mental illness and it’s like, you’re a healer, you’re a healer, you’re a healer, you’re a healer. Like, it just feels like I do like, that’s the one thing like I just feel like we’re all healers. Like we’re just, it’s a matter of time for when we tap into it.

Abby (18:47):

Yes, exactly. Beautiful.

Abby (18:51):

Yeah. We all

Abby (18:52):

Have, there’s a concept of original medicine. The idea is that we all come into the world with our own original medicine with our gifts. Yeah. And as we align with who we are with our nature, with our gifts and clear away any beliefs, so unworthy or anything else that gets stuck in the way of, between you and sharing that with the world, as you clear that out and just fall into your rhythm and alignment with your nature and life around you, then you, you are the human nature in yourself through being you

Guest (19:25):

True. That’s so true. It’s just, yeah. It’s like, you don’t have to, you just, are it?

Abby (19:30):

And that’s what you’ve been doing on this path of learning how to heal these pieces. And that’s, you know, it’s very common, you know, a lot of people who step into that role of being a healer have had a lot of struggle in life. And that was the motivation I included that catalyzes them, catalyzes us to do this work.

Guest (19:52):

Hm. Yeah. It’s cool too. I’m just, I feel like I’m seeing where like this black sheep ism even like helped me to like, I’m just over the years, all of the different things I was struggling with and all the like advice that people would give me that I’d be like, Nope, that’s not for me. And I would just be like, no, I’m not doing that. And the kind of like the pushback I would get from all of that. But it’s like, it’s interesting. Like looking back, it’s like, oh, I always knew exactly where I needed to go. And I was like going there and I thought, I wasn’t because everyone around me was saying that I was doing the wrong thing and trying to take me somewhere else. But I was always doing like exactly.

Abby (20:31):

Exactly. Yeah. Beautiful. And that’s a good point, you know? W is it even worse to be a black sheep or is it, yeah, it’s

Guest (20:41):

Good. I think it’s good. Wow.

Abby (20:43):

As you said, going against the grain and if the grain, a lot of dysfunction in it, can be a good thing.

Guest (20:49):

Yeah  Hmm.

Abby (20:53):

And that’s part of the part of being a healer is recognizing worth, you know, whether it’s just imbalanced as harmonies and helping to bring it back into balance and stepping out of that. And nobody noticed it instead of moving with the grain, moving with the flow of it. Yeah.

Guest (21:07):

True. It’s like that, that whole thing of like, is it familiar or is it something that’s like actually in alignment with you? Like, is this, are you doing this? Because it’s just like comfortable. It’s what you’ve always known. Or are you doing this? Because it’s true to your heart.

Abby (21:25):

Exactly. Well said, well said, beautiful. So I want to move, come back to this. So are you worthy? You are, are you worthy? Yeah. First. Yeah. Are you worthy of being a healer?

Guest (21:42):

Yes. How does it feel to say yes to that? It’s weird. It just feels like, a matter of fact, like it’s like, yeah,

Abby (21:51):

Yeah. Of course. That you’re worthy of being your most authentic self. Yes. Yeah. So obvious now the truth is once you uncover like, oh yeah, that makes sense.

Guest (22:09):

Yeah. So

Abby (22:12):

How does that feel in your body to say I’m worthy of being

Guest (22:16):

A healer? I’m worthy of being a healer? I just felt like my heart, like opening. I could just like, see like, ah, like just like a light out of my heart. Yeah.

Abby (22:31):

Beautiful. And then say the truth is always expansive. It’s always an expanding outward and that we’re, we’re expansive, everything in the universe is expanding. And whenever there’s a belief that interrupts that the feels constructive as you know, it’s not true. And so this is another way to check in. I’m like, oh, it feels expansive and light and you know, empowering than that’s aligned for you. Yeah. Good. And is it safe? Is it safe to be seen?

Guest (23:00):

Oh, Hmm, yes. Yeah. How does that feel? It was like a part of me that wants to hide, but like, it’s like, I know I’m safe within myself. So like, like it’s like almost like if I get rejected, like I know I have that home within myself. So it’s like, I am safe. Like you can go out. I don’t know. Yeah.

Abby (23:30):

Yes, exactly. You do know. Absolutely. Yeah. Is it safe to be within yourself completely and fully? Yes. Yeah. Beautiful. And in that, does that also involve, you know, allowing yourself to be seen when it feels right. When it seem appropriate when it’s helpful or necessary and moving along your path?

Guest (23:58):

Yeah,

Abby (24:00):

Yeah. And so what is, what is the part that wants to hide have to say,

Guest (24:07):

Saying, let me ask, where do you feel it in your body? It’s yeah, it’s kind of like my, it feels a bit like my throat on my jaw and like, my shoulders are like, feel like they have to like curve inward a bit. Like

Abby (24:24):

They’re protecting the

Guest (24:27):

The thing that I’m hearing is like, I’m almost like hearing a question. Like, is it okay sometimes too? Like, is it okay to hide? Like, can I hide sometimes? Like, do I have to always show everyone who I am, but then also like, I feel like, yes, just maybe not. I don’t know if the answer then came from me, like my heart was like, yes. And then I didn’t want to hear that.

Abby (24:54):

Yes, too. It’s okay to hide or always be showing,

Guest (24:58):

Always be showing, but not like, but I almost got it differently. Like I don’t have to like tell him, like, I can just like, like embody myself, but don’t maybe I don’t have to, you know? Yeah. I’ll everybody, my whole life story.

Abby (25:15):

Exactly, exactly. Cause you know, what does it mean to let yourself be seen? It doesn’t mean you have to go flashing down the street. Yeah. That’s true.

Guest (25:30):

Like standing up straight.

Abby (25:33):

Standing up straight. How does it feel to stand up straight? 

Guest (25:37):

Exposing,

Abby (25:40):

Right? Cause you’re not hiding. And it, you know, part wants this for you and also it’s okay. There are moments when you don’t do that because we live in life and you’re learning and growing and you know, we, we go through lessons and we contract a bit, and then we re-realize the lesson and we expand again. Yeah. But it sounds like your heart wants you to continually move towards this expansion. Tell me where I’m wrong. Yeah.

Guest (26:13):

No, that feels right. That feels right. I’m being shown an experience I had at work the other day where I like didn’t like something that came up in conversation. I didn’t want to share a piece of myself essentially. And then I shrunk down into that. Like I felt I should, I can see how my shoulders curled. And I was as nervous and kind of like, no, no, like, like kind of just like, I didn’t want to share that part of myself. And like, it’s, I’m like, okay, like that was fine. Like, I didn’t want to share that part of myself. Like, but sit up straight, like just say no, like it’s like, I feel guilty saying like, you know, I feel like I have to share myself. And it’s like, I thought that I would like, that feeling felt yucky in my body. And so I was psychoanalyzing it being like, oh, I have to, I have to be open and say all these things, but it’s like, no, I just have to be confident if I don’t want to, like, I just have to like speak it and let it be said and let that awkward pause happen and let that person like feel whatever they want to feel about me.

Guest (27:14):

Not wanting to share that piece of myself. I don’t know

Abby (27:17):

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And that’s a great insight and good work and unpacking that. And that’s part of the boundary that, you know, it’s a healthy boundary and you could even say like, oh, that’s a story for another day or, you know, whatever feels right for you. However, you want to say it or not. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want, so you just be like, I don’t want to share that.

Guest (27:38):

That’s true. Yeah. Hm.

Abby (27:42):

And that’s something that, you know, as you’re in this process of unfolding and coming and merging into the world and you know, all of your power, you know, you can sense, so some people, are they ready to hear what I have to say? Or are they ready to hear, you know, a very broad base truth of what I have to say that in a way that they can understand, or is it better for me and okay. For me, it’s always okay. Just to say, you know, that’s a story another day.

Guest (28:09):

Yeah. That’s true. Yeah. And even that wording, like it’s a story for another day, I feel like that’s just so much easier. It’s like, I’ve never known how to just like how to not do that. Like, I’ve always felt weird guilt around not giving away my secrets to people for some bizarre reason. And so it’s like, I’ve never known how to like smoothly. Just say, no, I don’t want to tell you that. And they’re like, no, why not? This is weird. And I’m like, it is weird, but stop.

Abby (28:44):

Yeah. And it’s natural that you, you know, it’s a lot of people, you know, growing up as children, a lot of us aren’t taught healthy boundaries and that’s changing now. You know, gradually as our society is becoming aware of these things. But you know, a lot of people have boundary problems because we’re, you know, forced to hug people and we’re forced to eat certain foods that our body doesn’t want us to eat at different times. We’re forced to do all of these things that in our bodies we don’t want to do. And so this creates confusion and then this creates a boundary kind of confusion happening. And so it’s just relearning and reestablishing them because we come into the world knowing what we want to do. And I mean, we don’t want to do most kids are, have no problems. They, I do not want to do that. It’s not a problem. Well, until, you know, we get forced to do things.

Guest (29:36):

Yeah, that’s true.

Abby (29:39):

So, we’re just relearning these boundaries. Yeah. And as you can comfortable with them, I guess, more natural and it’s it, you know, it gets to be awkward when you’re in that process of like, ah, I’m trying to figure it out and that’s okay. But as you get more comfortable stay with it and own it and, you know, realize that you don’t need to feel bad about it. It gets easier to say things in ways that are, you know, the energy that you say it with as well is just confident and calm. And then for other people, it becomes more confident and calm too. Cause you’re figuring it out. And as you do, it gets more.

Guest (30:09):

That’s true. That’s true. Hmm.

Abby (30:12):

Yeah. Okay. So what does it mean to hide? To hide

Guest (30:22):

Like, shrink, clothes, separate. Okay. Words are coming. I can’t make a sense

Abby (30:33):

Of great descriptors. So shrink, close and separate. Yeah. So is that from who are you doing that? What are you separating from at that moment? Is it them? Is it you? Is it both? Is it a bigger piece of life, but is it

Guest (30:51):

Yeah, it’s like from them as the world, like go away.

Abby (30:57):

Okay. Yeah. Okay. And that’s okay to do sometimes. Sometimes. Okay. But you shut the blinds. I’m like, I’m just gonna nap in the dark right now and that’s okay. True. And if that’s what you need at that moment, that’s okay. Yeah. Okay. With yourself, what you need.

Guest (31:13):

Yeah. That’s funny. I just had a visual of a dog. That’s just like, you know, maybe moved into a new home or something and they’re scared and they’re kind of cowering and it’s just like, they’re trying to hide and like find safety and like, you don’t go up to that dog and just like hug that dog. Like you give that dog, if it wants to hide right now, it’s okay. Like you can hide.

Abby (31:35):

Yeah, absolutely. We adopted a feral dog a while ago and you know, guilt around, we push her to get her outside of her comfort zone and then we give her a face to just process and integrate. And it’s that always, you know, moving forward and then processing and you know, being kind of gentle with yourself. Well,

Guest (31:55):

Yeah, it’s true.

Abby (31:58):

So, and to let yourself be seen, does that mean that you have to be seen 24/7? Like even when you’re sleeping or can you just, you should be able to hide something, not like a bad thing. Why am I,

Guest (32:19):

Yeah, I think it does.

Abby (32:22):

And so how would it feel to be, to allow yourself to be seen in your authenticity and power and also have that balance in your life to just do your own thing and have your own space?

Guest (32:36):

Yeah. That’s that feels balanced. That feels good.

Abby (32:41):

Good. Okay. And so how does that part of you that had a concern with being seen feel now,

Guest (32:50):

Just see, this has got a vision of me just like napping all snuggled up in a cave. Like I’m just like finally like I can just like chill here for a minute.

Abby (33:01):

There’s no guilt around it later. Like I just want it exactly. There’s nothing wrong with that. And whenever the mind makes something wrong, it creates this separation, this out of alignment. And then it’s hard to be fully in whatever you’re doing. Even if it’s something you want and you crave and in a way need, if a part of your mind is making that wrong, it’s hard to fully soak in the benefits of it.

Guest (33:27):

Yeah. Hmm. True.

Abby (33:31):

Yeah. So letting that go, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with taking that time. It was like bears hibernate every year and when they hibernate, they, you know, scientists are studying them because they have this amazing ability to heal wounds, like any other, like any other animal while they’re in that space. And there’s like this deep restorative state that they go into for months out of every year.

Guest (33:58):

It’s okay to be a bear sometimes. Oh yeah.

Abby (34:07):

And that’s part of, that’s part of, you know, that’s part of the balance of life of like that active doing kind of young energy where it’s bright and out in the world and that, you know, that yin, that’s just kind of, you know, receives and this kind of draws and word and rests and it’s that day and night, it’s that balance of everything flowing back and forth.

Guest (34:31):

So how do you tell, so is it just going to come with time kind of like, how will I tell if I’m like hiding because of like, almost like a fear of rejection versus hiding, because like, I just don’t want to express myself.

Abby (34:45):

Hmm. That’s a great question. So it’s is it coming from an empowered state versus a disempowered state? Yeah. Yeah. It’s how it feels. Does it feel in that moment, does it feel expansive for you to say that’s a story for another day or does it feel like shrinking?

Guest (35:08):

I’m almost just like take a breath and like sit up and just like, yeah, I’m just, I’m being shown to visuals right now. One of me, like in a cave, like snuggling up and just like content sleeping and the other one of me like peering out the cave, like scared to go outside, which 1:00 AM I?

Abby (35:29):

Right. And you know, maybe there’s those, those both pieces there feels like we’re tapping you into that. You know, the part of you that can, that does embrace the restorative, you know, healing aspects of just being that bear in the cave. And then it’s the part that’s afraid to go outside… That’s what the bear wakes up is not afraid to go out there. It’s like, all right. Typically it’s to berries. Does it feel like there’s a part of you there? That’s still afraid.

Guest (36:08):

Yeah. A little bit like, yeah. Like just like rejection.

Abby (36:15):

And what is it saying? So it’s saying that you know, they might reject me that might hurt. What does it say?

Guest (36:23):

Like they won’t, they won’t get me. Like they won’t get who I am. Like, I don’t want to tell them about me. Yeah. And is it,

Abby (36:34):

And if they don’t get you, is there anything wrong with that? No, no, no. Cause who needs to get you

Guest (36:45):

Me? Exactly. I can go. Yeah. And yeah, when

Abby (36:53):

You get you and you own that, it gives, it allows others to do that, but they might be busy with their stuff, with their own stories, you know, but their insecurities and fears and triggers and all of that stuff that they’re dealing with too. Yeah. And so it’s not that they, you know, wouldn’t love the depth of you from the depth of them. It’s that there’s so much stuff in between that happening and you can’t necessarily take them as a way, but you can work on yours. Yeah. I can’t take theirs away. They, they can work through that themselves. That’s their job. That’s their journey. And yours is working through you.

Guest (37:36):

yep. I just, it’s so simple. It’s like, yeah, I can just do what I want. Like I can just like, just like, yeah. It’s just so easy.

Abby (37:47):

You just have to call your heart. You have to like

Guest (37:51):

Figure out like, okay. Yeah. I’m just overthinking.

Abby (37:57):

And again, gleaning that resilience to rejection. It’s okay. For others to disagree. But when you are, are in your truth, in your authenticity, when you know who you are, then that is that resilience.

Guest (38:13):

That’s true.

Abby (38:17):

Because you know, you much better than their projection of you muddled in with all of their stories. Yeah.

Guest (38:24):

That’s true. Yeah. Like it’s just like I’ll yeah. I could just present myself and that’s who I am. That’s all.

Abby (38:33):

As much or as little as feels right. In each moment.

Guest (38:37):

Yeah.

Abby (38:42):

Beautiful. And so how does it feel to know you’re worthy of being a healer and to honor yourself within each moment, allowing yourself to be seen as feels right in your heart?

Guest (39:06):

Yeah. It feels good. It feels like, yeah. Just like,

Abby (39:12):

Okay, good, good. Useful. And so if ever a gremlin word comes up and says that again. I want you to tell it, I am worthy of being a healer. Yeah. I am worthy of being me because that’s kind of the same thing.

Guest (39:29):

Yeah, that’s true. I just said it to the gremlin and he was like, no, fair enough. Just checking if we knew exactly. Okay.

Abby (39:51):

Come back again next week. Essays, feel that way until it’s like, just gives up like, all right, you’ve got those covered. I mean,

Guest (40:03):

Oh my goodness. Can I write this and sticky notes and hanging everywhere.

Abby (40:09):

Good, says remind you to read it every day. Write it down, say it out loud, say it in your head. Say it anytime. A thought appears where it’s like, wait a minute. It wasn’t your path. And I had to do this too. You know, I’ve been through that. I had those thoughts that came in and be like, I don’t like doing this. And like, what I love doing this and it just floated away. It’s a challenge. Yeah. How

Guest (40:37):

Much do you want it?

Abby (40:40):

Yeah. And when you get to that truth, it just feels natural.

Guest (40:43):

Yeah.

Abby (40:46):

Good. Beautiful. How has that feeling in your jaw and your head?

Guest (40:55):

It’s like it’s yeah. It’s it feels like that melting feeling again. And I feel like I see a lot of flight. Like there’s a lot of light coming in. May just be sending my eyes are closed, but I’m noticing the light a lot more than I was before.

Abby (41:10):

Yeah. Beautiful. And it is, it’s interesting when you shift those things inside, you’ve noticed different things. Yeah. With your eyes closed, you’re noticing more light coming in. Yeah. Or light was always there, but you see it now just

Guest (41:23):

Seeing it. Yeah. That’s true. Yeah, exactly.

Abby (41:27):

Same thing with the light inside of you, you know, that Ruth was always there and you’re just seeing it and feeling it, experiencing it now.

Guest (41:33):

That’s cool. I just see such a clear line down my entire life history of like, oh yeah. Like I’ve always been doing this. Like this has always, always been following that line of truth. Like it’s cool. I didn’t, it felt I have, of course, it’s like a meandering road, but like I just see the straight shot through right now.

Abby (41:53):

Exactly. Beautiful. Yeah. The truth is what moves you forward? It’s what it’s the navigational system is true north. It’s moving to where you need to go.

Guest (42:06):

Yeah.

Abby (42:07):

Beautiful. Thank you so much. And so yeah. Write those post-it notes out loud. Say it to your head in your head. Say it. And any thoughts that challenge that may come up and challenge you and just keep reminding yourself of that. And then that feeling of that, would you say it was like an expanding sun out of your chest?

Guest (42:29):

Yeah. He’s like, I’m stretching my arm. Like it’s like, ah,

Abby (42:36):

Yeah. And as you say it, you know, feel it too. I like to include that. Include that as part of your meditation of like this moment of like, you know, saying I am worthy of being a healer, AKA I’m worthy of being myself and sharing that then, and then feeling that expansive sun coming out of your chest and unless you’re a feeling it in all parts of

Guest (42:59):

You. Yeah. It feels like this. Like, as it feels like such a, it like, it almost like it needs to become a morning ritual for me for some time here. Like that feels like such a great way to wake up in the day, just like do a little meditation tune in and be like, oh yeah, I’m a healer.

Abby (43:17):

Yeah. Wonderful. It’s like your way of plugging in like into source energy or light and just aligning, like bringing your soul into your body before you start your day and then moving forward from that place. Like even if it’s five minutes just to connect in, that’d be so powerful. That will be so powerful for you.

Guest (43:36):

Hmm. Yes. Yeah. Just like I keep feeling, I’m feeling myself need to yawn and I was like holding it back. And then I remember you and I had done a session before and like a lot of yawning came up, I’m integrating with Yon, like

Abby (43:53):

You mentioned. Cause I was going to say something, I love you. And God time when I was in Peru and there’s working with the Shapebos shamans there they’d come up to people as they’re moving through people’s energy. And it’s just a great, such a great way of shifting energy. Yeah. I love that with your body. Yeah. Like you can, you can like feel it, you can, and you can feel it moving as you do it. Yeah. So many times. Well, thank you, my dear. Continue to rename, remain nameless. Thank you for sharing and thank you for sharing a little bit of your story. And I think it’s, I know it’s really important for people who have struggled or do still struggle with mental illness to hear the stories of triumph and understanding that, oh, this is part of the catalyst in my growth.

Guest (44:59):

That’s so true. Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you for always just realigning.

Abby (45:07):

Thank you for coming in with your open heart and your beautiful healing heart. And I’m so happy for the path that you’re on. And for all those who are gonna get to experience your healing as you’re on this journey. Thank you.

Abby (45:27):

I hope you enjoy that as much as I did it just completely lights me up to get, to see somebody stepping more into their power and authenticity and how awesome for the rest of the world to get to experience the magic that she is more and more as she continues to unfold into her power and depth and beauty. So thank you so much for listening. I’m Abigail Moss. I’m a transformation coach and healer, and you can learn more about me at mindbodyfree.com. And if you or anyone you know, is interested in receiving coaching, please reach out. Please go to mindbodyfree.com/podcast and fill out the form. I would love to connect with you. Thank you so much. Continue to be beautiful and amazing and shine your light on the world. Take care.

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Why It’s Impossible To Be A Bad Person

There are no bad people, just untrue beliefs. No baby comes into the world ‘bad’ or ‘up to no good.’ Babies arrive at earth bright, open, and in need of love and connection.

 It’s overtime that we get imprinted with beliefs about our own worth, other people’s worth, races, sexes, animals, nature, money, relationships…. the list goes on.

We collect beliefs about ourselves and life without even knowing it. To our minds, it’s just the way things are. It becomes our reality, and we end up seeing the world through the filter of our beliefs, even when they cause us pain.

All babies come into the world needing love and connection. Through studying orphanages, we’ve discovered that babies can actually die from a lack of physical touch and affection. It’s essential for a baby’s survival to find a connection. And this need for connection remains a part of us as we grow older. Loneliness is estimated to shorten life spans by 15 years.

And yet we get imprinted with beliefs that cut us off from ourselves, each other, and life itself. If I believe others are superior or inferior to me, I cut myself off from them, and from my own heart and soul that craves connection. I may even hold hate in my heart, which is akin to drinking poison each day that I let that hate live inside me.

If I believe the world is unsafe and unkind, I turn away from it and isolate myself. If I believe that nature is going to screw me over, I turn away from my own nature, and from life itself.

But everything I’ve described comes from a belief, not the essence of a person. Remember that babies come into the world a bright light looking for connection. You are still that bright light, and so are your neighbor, co-worker, friend, family, and even foe. Any conflict between yourself and them doesn’t come from your essence, it comes from your beliefs and their beliefs.

Destructive beliefs get passed down from generations, cultures, fears, and confusion. But they don’t need to continue on that way. Becoming aware of them as individuals and as a society is the first step to becoming free of them.

My job is to help you become free of any beliefs you picked up along the way that are cutting you off from experiencing the depth of connection available to you.

And in becoming free of untrue beliefs, we reconnect, we remember who we are, and we see the magic of life for which we a part. And that is a profoundly beautiful, healing, and transformative thing.

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Breathing Exercise For Healing, Digestion, & Sleep


BREATHING EXERCISE FOR HEALING, DIGESTION AND SLEEP

Alternate Nostril Breathing will soothe your nervous system, clear your mind, and help you get into a calm, connected, and relaxed state. This is a purifying and balancing practice that’s excellent to do before meditating, sleeping, or any time you want to feel more grounded and centered.

Your breath is your life force. It energizes you, heals you, and brings you out of your head and into your body. How you breathe affects your state of mind and entire nervous system. When we’re stressed and overthinking, we breathe shallowly from our chest. When we’re grounded and relaxed, we breathe deeply into our bellies.

A simple breathing exercise can take you out of ‘fight or flight’ and into ‘rest and digest’ as it calms your mind and activates your parasympathetic nervous system. This is where your body properly digests food and restores itself. It’s where physical healing happens and where your mind feels at ease.

Alternate Nostril Breathing will help you can access deeper states of awareness and it’s a great practice to incorporate before meditating. And focused breathing is in itself a meditation. It’s a way of clearing your thoughts and being in the present moment and in your body.

THE VIDEO BELOW WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO:

  • Fall asleep more easily and restfully.
  • Meditate more easily and access deeper states of awareness.
  • Help your body restore and heal itself.
  • Improve your digestion.
  • Quiet your thoughts.

Practice this exercise daily to strengthen your mental immune system from anxiety, stress, and overwhelm. 

Enjoy! And tell me how it goes for you in the comments!

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Murmurations

MURMURATIONS THROUGH HUMANITY

“A murmuration,” my husband said, as we watched starlings move like a wave across our cul-de-sac, gathering food from the spring yards thawing in the morning sun.  “It’s because of how they move together”. 

I can feel the murmurations. I can feel humanity moving together, into isolation, processing, and feeling. The other day I felt fear. Fear in response to a collective threat. More of a threat to our lives as we knew them than to life itself, although many are facing that too.

Our lives are changing, and have changed. Some try to carry on as nothing has happened, but it’s impossible to ignore that our world is different now. We are different now. And how we process this is unique to each of us.

I wasn’t feeling fear the other day. I looked at the feeling and asked myself, ‘is this mine?’ I cleared my mind and allowed an answer to appear. ‘No’ rise up from inside me, it’s not mine. It was a murmuration. A fear moving through the collective consciousness we share as humans and living creatures on this earth. I can witness this, and let it go.

ENTANGLED LIFE

All of life has murmurations. All of life is inherently interconnected. Each cellular, chemical reaction responds to the next. Each thought has energy. Standing close with someone, you may have noticed the heaviness or lightness of their thoughts. Maybe you felt drawn to their magnetic charm and confidence. Or perhaps you couldn’t get far enough away from their inner turmoil and insecurity.

You’ve likely felt the joy and sorrow of someone’s love, regardless of where they were in the world. A simple phone call or message brought them right to you. 

Quantum physicists discovered a phenomenon called ‘Quantum Entanglement’. It’s when particles become ‘entangled’ even when separated by a large distance. Meaning they behave as if they are one, regardless of where they are.

We too are entangled in this web of life. We think, feel and experience both individually and collectively. And so does nature. Nature is made up of intelligent, interconnected systems that work together to support this delicate miracle of life. Regardless of whether we call it universal intelligence, science, evolution, god, neat, or spooky, nature continues on. Giving us nourishment, sunshine on our skin, and fresh air in our lungs. Can you feel the murmurations of life? Have you felt like moving through you like a wave before?

THE ILLUSION OF ALONENESS

Sometimes it feels like we’re alone in life. Like there are walls between us, separating us from connection and love. Invisible walls that seem impossible to understand, let alone move. But it isn’t impossible. The key to opening them is inside you. It’s not out in the external world, connection and love begin inside of you.

You see, life is never alone. Life in itself is union. We are the interconnected systems of life. We ARE nature. You are a part of an alive and amazing universe. And any thought that says otherwise; that says you’re not enough, not worthy, not lovable, not free, is untrue. You came into this world enough. You will ALWAYS be enough. Every aspect of nature is enough.

For centuries, humanity feared, fought, and tried to dominate nature. And throughout all this, we were ultimately fighting ourselves. Fighting the parts of ourselves that felt separate, alone, and scared; the places where we forgot our own nature.

Nature is ever-evolving and expanding. YOUR nature is to be ever-evolving and expanding. The places where we get stuck and collapse into ourselves are where we forgot who we truly are.

At this moment, humanity is changing. We have been given an opportunity to return to ourselves; to our nature. 

Let’s find our way back together. Let’s listen to the murmurations guiding us home.

May the guided meditation below help you find your way back. It was recorded from one of our weekly online gatherings over at Heart Space. ❤️ 

Murmuration, the unified movement of birds in flight. And a powerful demonstration of energy in motion. You can see how it moves through them like a wave, flowing with communication beyond words.

YouTube video
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A Rebel In A Pandemic

A SELF PROFESSED REBEL

Before we dive into being a rebel in a pandemic, let’s define what it means to be a rebel. A rebel is someone who thrives on non-conformity. They fight back against the injustices of the world and pave their own way forward. They’re fiercely passionate with unwavering stubbornness.

I will admit that I’ve been a rebel most of my life. Since I was 14, I refused to cower to the pain of life. I said a big ‘f*ck you’ to the madness of the world and I fought injustices big and small.

I fought my teachers, I fought my mom, and I fought ‘the way things just are’. And I know it’s easy to look at a pissed-off 14-year-old and think they’re just immature, but the rebel archetype plays an important role in our society.

THE REBEL ARCHETYPE

Much like the Joker, the Rebel causes us to question the status quo. Refusing to be sheep,  they have a unique perspective and they’re not afraid to embrace it. They have the courage to go against the grain, and they’re used to being ostracised for refusing to fit in.

Rebels are innovators, visionaries, pot stirrers, and movement makers. They’re free spirits, creative thinkers, and masters of refusing to conform.

As a rebel, odds are you never really fit in. You have a general distrust for rule makers and powerful figures. And the last thing you ever want is to be ordered around. In fact, refusing to be told what to do is kind of your superpower. You would never live your life according to someone else’s values or rules. Conforming to a messed-up society goes against everything you stand for. You choose to pave your own way and make this beautiful life YOURS. Not what the media, church, school, government, or even your aunt Sally says it should be. No, your life is sole, by right, yours. And knowing this keeps the fire in you alive and burning. 

FROM ONE REBEL TO ANOTHER

To my rebel brothers and sisters, I see you. I know how frustrating it is to be told what to do. And I know that our society is still pretty messed up. I know that refusing to conform has been your superpower. It’s kept you safe from giving in and giving up. It’s kept you going. And from one rebel to another, I commend you for that. 

And while this has been our superpower, the world is asking something different of us right now. And by the world, I don’t just mean society. NATURE is asking something different of us right now. Nature is asking us to pause, to withdraw, to change. We’ve been going and going and going since the industrial revolution, and it’s been taking a toll on our planet, and quite honestly, on us.

IT’S TIME FOR CHANGE

Humanity has been too busy to pause or reflect for a very long time. We got so caught up in maniacally moving forward that we forgot how to BE. We forgot how to listen to what our hearts and soul wanted. We forgot how to listen to Mother Earth. And now, we find ourselves in a forced pause. A forced reflection.

But as a rebel, you may be fighting this. You may be trying to carry on the way you always have. You may be having a hard time accepting what people are saying about putting things on hold and socially isolating. And if so, my question to you is, what are you fighting? Are you fighting a delusional society? Or are you fighting acknowledging this thing because of how incredibly vulnerable that might feel? 

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

As much as it hasn’t always felt like it, we ARE all in this together. We all have fragile little human bodies. Being a rebel doesn’t make us immune to this virus, even if we think we’re immune to the rules.

Change is uncomfortable. It’s a form of death and rebirth. A part of us must die to allow a new part of us to be born. And in order to evolve, you need to have enough faith to let yourself feel vulnerable. You need faith to let go of an old part of yourself and embrace the unknown of something new.

You need courage. And my rebel friend, courage is what you are made of. You’ve leaned into the discomfort of being different your whole life. Now it’s time to turn that courage in a new direction. It’s time to let yourself be part of this world. It’s time to let yourself feel vulnerable and remember that you are human too. You are affected by this stuff. And as a part of this world, you have a responsibility to yourself and your community to acknowledge what’s happening.

It will probably hurt. But we’re all here for you. We’re feeling it too. And we’ll get through this together. Introvert style, from the comfort of our own homes.

Note: this message is for those of us with the freedom to choose social isolation. For those who are working in the front lines in grocery stores, gas stations, hospitals, and all essential services, THANK YOU. Thank you for your hard work and service. Thank you for taking care of us and keeping our society functioning. You are inspiring and I am grateful for you. ▲ 

A MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE

Being in Canada, we’ve been gifted the opportunity to look into the future at countries that’ve been where we are now. 

In this video, Italians share messages with their 10-days-ago past selves.

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How To Navigate Mental Health With COVID-19

RESPONDING TO GREATER WORLD PRESSURES

Climate, politics, and now COVID-19. There’s been a lot going on in the world lately, and as we’re faced with greater pressures, the importance of caring for our mental health couldn’t be higher. And with all of these challenges we face, we’re given an opportunity to learn and grow for the better. Just as the Chinese word for ‘crisis’ means both ‘danger’ and ‘opportunity’, now is the time to become stronger and wiser.

☛  You’ll find a guided hypnotherapy meditation for staying grounded at centered at the end of this post, so read on or scroll to the bottom if you’re keen to get grounded and centered.

危险

The Chinese word for ‘crisis’ uses both the characters DANGER & OPPORTUNITY

UNDERSTANDING FEAR

You’ve probably noticed between the memes of toilet paper hoarding that there’s been a lot of fear spreading throughout the collective consciousness lately. And you’ve likely felt it rising in you at times too. Which is totally natural and ok. But you don’t have to hang out with fear if it isn’t serving you.  And if you’d like to spend more time with peace and happiness, read on.

Now about fear, it can spread quickly and gain momentum with each person it touches. And while it’s as infectious as a virus, it can easily be treated and overcome.

When your mind perceives a threat, it activates fear, or flight, or fight. This is helpful when you’re running from a lion, but in day-to-day life, not so much. The good news is, you can train your mind to respond differently to non-lion threats. Your mind is there to serve you, and you get to be in the driver’s seat telling it where to go. 

You have the freedom to choose where you steer your mental and emotional state.

CLAIMING YOUR POWER IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT

Claiming your driver’s seat involves being in the present moment. Because you don’t want a distracted driver daydreaming about the future when you’re navigating tricky terrain.

And a fast and easy way to get yourself into the here and now is by first breathing deeply, and then asking yourself, ‘Is there anything I need to do RIGHT NOW?’ At this very moment, what do you need to do? You definitely need to breathe, you’d run into trouble pretty quickly without your breath. And at this moment, do you need to do anything else?

Is there any immediate threat to you, or are you safe at this moment? Do you have shelter, food, and water? Now start noticing how well cared for you are. Appreciate the plumbing, heat, and electricity in your home. Appreciate this goldilocks planet that gives you all the oxygen, sunshine, and nourishment you need.

FEAR LIVES OUTSIDE THE PRESENT MOMENT

Notice how fear comes from outside of the present moment. (Unless you’re currently running from a lion. In which case, WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?! RUN FASTER!!)

So any time you feel fear, panic, or anxiety encroaching, come back to here and now. Come back to your breath. Breathe deeply and appreciate at least 3 things around you.

Now you may be thinking, ‘that’s all well and good, but I need to worry about this stuff so I can know what to do!’ And if so my question to you is, are you better able to think and move forward from a place of fear and anxiety, or from a place of calm and presence?

When you come back to this moment, you gain the awareness and presence to move forward in a way that feels right for you. Where you get stuck is in your head, and your head lives in the past and future. It’s in this moment where you’re fully alive and present.

GUIDED HYPNOTHERAPY TO CLAIM YOUR DRIVER’S SEAT

And to forge even stronger relationships with your pal’s peace and happiness, try this guided hypnotherapy meditation. It will help you claim your driver’s seat and bring you into here and now, regardless of what’s happening around you. And as you hang with peace and happiness, you might just find yourself spreading a little more light around the world.

Listen to this recording each day for 21 days, and watch how your life changes.

I would LOVE to hear how this goes for you. Please share in the comments or connect with me on Facebook or Instagram.

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Healing Sound For When You’re Sad Or Heavy

healing sound

Today I’m going to show you a powerful healing sound to release stuck emotion, energy, and congestion. But first I want to share with you how it has changed my life.

When I was 14 I started suffering from debilitating period pain. You know the kind where you feel hot, dizzy, throw up and keel over in agony? That’s what I had, every month. One time it hit while I was at school and I remember my (fortunately short) walk home; abandoning the weight of my backpack with the single focus of finding a safe refuge to get through the pain. Each month I dreaded revisiting this pain and I felt totally unable to control when or how it would happen.

When I was 16 I started using medication to manage it, and it worked. I blindly trusted and relied on my medication until I first experienced plant medicines in Peru 4 years ago; a time that profoundly transformed my life and my relationship with myself. The plants helped me rekindle a deep connection to my own spirit and body and I wanted to learn how to heal my pain without the medication, so I (nervously) went off it. For a time after the plant medicines, there was no pain, until there was again. Hopping on a plane back to Peru wasn’t in the cards at the time, but I was dedicated to understanding why I was feeling this way and how I could heal myself naturally. So I started changing my relationship with the pain and my fear of it became overshadowed with fascination. I wanted to learn what this experience had to teach me; I wanted to understand it.

Fast forward to soon after I started my Medical Qigong training and had learned a healing sound for releasing sadness. When I was in pain I was open to trying anything that could help me through it, and I had a feeling that I should try this healing sound. I was lying in bed in intense pain with a puke bucket nearby, and I began to say “shhhhoooooooong”. All I could mutter at the time was a whisper, but it felt right. I asked my husband if he would help me, and he made the sound through my back and into my lungs; resonating with me as we made the sound together. And when he made the sound with me, I soon purged and the pain subsided. It became a request I often made of him when my periods were painful, and each time I was able to purge and feel better soon after.

Over time, what I needed while I was in pain changed as my healing progressed, and I have since developed a (mostly) daily practice of self-care through Qigong exercises and meditation. I came to see my pain as stuck energy and emotion that was surfacing each month to be released. My self-care has become a form of personal maintenance and hygiene for my overall health in mind, body, and spirit and I now live medication-free and pain-free. It was a journey to get here, and it wasn’t until I embraced the pain, and myself, that I was able to understand it and move through it.

Here is the healing sound that has been so helpful for me, may it give you whatever it is that you need from it. And know that wherever you are on your journey, I love you and I am cheering for you.

YouTube video

Thanks for being here! You can find more information about the mind-body healing work that I do HERE and if you have questions about this exercise or anything else you can contact me HERE.